Things I Learned This Week: 10/7/06

Last week I decided to begin a new feature on Saturdays. Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I started something called “Things I Learned This Week.” It’s educational, sometimes insightful and always pathetic. I hope after sharing this list that at least one item will make your upcoming week much easier. So here is the second installment of “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 10/1/06-10/7/06.

! I learned that when you are with a female co-worker and another female in your vicinity bends over and inadvertently exposes her thong, it’s no use pretending you don’t see it because you are with another female and you want to be a gentleman. Especially since your female co-worker is going to make a big deal out of it and point out the exposed thong to you anyway.

! I learned that when the nurse giving you your flu shot is named Mercy, you can’t take for granted that it still won’t hurt. A lot.

! I learned that when you are working late and singing “You’re Cheatin’ Heart” by Hank Williams Sr. as loud as you can, don’t always assume there is no one else in the building just because you don’t see anyone. This one was embarrassing to learn.

! I learned that no matter how exciting it is for me to go through the Halloween aisle at Target, my four year olds may not think that fake severed heads, hands, skeletons and Draculas are all that exciting.

! I learned that getting into work late because I stopped to buy the new George Strait album on the way in isn’t as valid an excuse to others as it is to me.

! I learned that even though the charcoal has ashed over and appears a cool gray, it’s still not a good idea to flick it with your fingers when you need to move it during cooking.

And lastly…

! I learned that when "Mommy" is out of town and you want to spoil Daddy's little girls, don’t let them eat Oreo cookies on your bed…on brand new sheets.