Saturday, October 28, 2006

Things I Learned This Week: 10/28/06

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and always pathetic. I hope that at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. As you'll be able to tell from this week's list, it was a hard week at work. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 10/22/06-10/28/06.

! I learned that offering your recently finished plaster dental mold to a coworker so that they can use it as a bookend can be seen as a disgusting, vile and all too personal gesture. It wasn’t me, but I witnessed the whole thing.

! I learned that I should not make squirmy motions when my female coworker is sharing details of her painful monthly lady goings on. At least I was listening to her, right?

! I learned that while I think every little thing that my Lucy and Ethel do is cute and anecdote-worthy, my coworkers may not always agree. The certain male coworker in question just didn’t have to tell me in front of everybody. I have forgiven him though. I also learned that my coworkers are getting tired of me saying, “I’ve got to blog about this.” They’ve started saying it now, but I think they’re mocking me.

! I learned that if you change the little picture attached to your work’s email signature every time you send a new message, it tends to give the impression you aren’t really working that hard and have time to goof around. And as well all know, that impression just leads to more work.

! I learned that when I need to go buy a new digital camera and am somewhat indecisive about it, Best Buy is not the place to go. They have about 30 different camera models, half of which have the same features with only slightly different names. By the way, what the heck is a restocking fee?

! I learned that when I your entire department is on a conference call and you want to point out to your coworker across the hall the ineptitude of the person speaking, you’d better ensure that your phone is muted.

And lastly…

! I learned (just now as a matter of fact) that when you give your 4-year olds chocolate donuts for breakfast, it’s not a good idea to walk away and start blogging. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go wipe down a ton of chocolate fingerprints all over the dining room before Mommy wakes up…

10 comments:

Odat said...

I'm getting that you learn an awful lot each week...lol...I can relate to the "i've got to blog about this" thing and the muting of the phone thing!! LOL Good luck with buying the camera!

Peace

Why do I have to choose an idendity every time I make a comment...I know who I am!!!

Empress Bee said...

well michael when i give charlie chocolate donuts for breakfast he only leaves crumbs from the kitchen to the den (where our wide lazy arses usually eat). maybe you can teach lucy and ethel to mess up the den too?? bee

Awesome Mom said...

Are you sure number one was not you? Because that totally sounds like something you would do.

mist1 said...

When I was in college, I worked in automotives. The guys in the parts dept. charged a restocking fee. They also called it the Jerk Discount.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

A restocking fee is yet another way for a greedy merchant to steal some of your money while agreeing to refund it on a returned item. Circuit City does this, too. I once returned something before I even took it out of the store, and I had to pay a $30 fee.

They do it because they can. I hate them.

Josie said...

Your co-worker shared details of her painful monthly goings on? That's just gross. You had a right to squirm.

Oh, and I've done the conference call blunder... "Uh, Josie, I can hear you..." Hah

thethinker said...

That last lesson is the most important of all. Of course, if you were my dad, you'd probably tell your kids to wipe their messy, chocolate-y hands on the back part of the couch where nobody can see. Unfortunately, this method only works until mommy goes behind the couch to dust.

Lizza said...

Haha! Great lessons learned, as usual. I hope you got the chocolate fingerprints cleaned in time.

Lee said...

Feed the kids on the floor, then send in the dogs. ;)

I start WAY too many sentences with, "I was reading this blog..."

I can't help it that us bloggers are so clever and funny!

PARLANCHEQ said...

Yeah, what is a restocking fee? If stores can charge that, can consumers charge a crappy product fee? Like if I but a piece of crap and decide I want to return it, will the store reimburse me 15% of the purchase price to cover the time and expense of me going all the way back to the store to make the return? ;)