Saturday, October 14, 2006

Things I Learned This Week: 10/14/06

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and always pathetic. I hope that at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 10/8/06-10/14/06.

! I learned that when your female coworker asks how you like the new highlights in her hair (which you didn’t even notice by the way) that you probably should not tell her they remind you of the color of your office’s cubicle walls.

! I learned that just because the Mexican restaurant near work offers free all you can eat chips with your lunch, they don’t intend on you ordering a $1 taco and eating five bowls of them.

! I learned that not all levels of my work’s management appreciate a picture of Homer Simpson at the bottom of all my email correspondence. I was just trying to be original.

! I learned when you give your girls “big girl” beds for the first time that telling them not to jump on them for fun is exactly the same as telling them to go ahead and jump on them for fun.

! I learned that you should weed whack the grass next to your driveway before you spend all morning washing both cars.

! I learned that going out for frozen yogurt towards the end of the workday and coming back without any for your coworkers can be perceived by some as a rude or selfish act.

And lastly…

! I learned that you probably should not use the bleu cheese dressing in the fridge after uttering the phrase “Oh wow, I didn’t know we had any blue cheese, I wonder how long this has been in here.” Just trust your gut or your gut will betray you…violently.

9 comments:

Violet said...

But I've got a wedge of blue cheese in my fridge right now, and it's been there a while. How do I know whether it's bluer than it was six weeks ago because I shouldn't eat it, or whether it's simply tastier?

Odat said...

I should try that! Weed wacking the grass after my car is clean...it will add to the dog snot and hair on the inside!!!
Oh I know about the frozen yogart rule!!!
"Big girl" beds are made for jumping, didn't you know that????
Homer Simpson???? Bad, bad, bad!!
and Tsk, Tsk, Tsk, for not noticing the highlights!!!
(p.s. I hope you're feeling better after downing that "aged" blue cheese ;-(

Ra Ra Ra Bunggio said...

I want to know, was the dressing 'bleu cheese' to begin with or did it age to that color?

Awesome Mom said...

That last one was freaking hilarious. I will refrain from letting my bleu cheese dressing from sitting in the fridge for too long.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

gosh i always thought bleu cheese got BETTER with age. thanks for the heads up michael!

the rest i pretty much already knew, sorry you didn't.

bee

PARLANCHEQ said...

Why is it that whatever you tell kids not to do, they do, and whatever you tell them to do, they do not do? Makes being a parent very confusing when you always have to remember to reverse the directions before you give them. :)

mist1 said...

I just had a salad dressing experience. Only, it was peppercorns. I think.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Ewww. I can't do blue cheese because I'm allegic to penicillin.

I have no problem with frozen yogurt, though, so could you add one more before you come back?

rose said...

"I learned that when your female coworker asks how you like the new highlights in her hair (which you didn’t even notice by the way) that you probably should not tell her they remind you of the color of your office’s cubicle walls."

Too right. I currently have brown hair and it should have been auburn. I don't know it happened. If anyone says anything I'm going to have their arm off.