Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Congratulations America, We Did It!!

As you have probably read by now and will undoubtedly read and hear more about in the next few days, America’s population total topped 300 million earlier this morning. It’s funny because I thought downtown LA had that many people last time I was there. It sure seemed that way. While I obviously don’t have a great concept of numbers, I can tell you in a very scientific way that 300 million is a lot of people. As of this writing, I don’t know who the lucky 300 millionth person was but Disneyland has promised them a free annual pass. Our country is definitely growing and from what I have read, it seems that our 300 millionth member (if you will) has not really given us a reason to celebrate. I disagree and say start the party!

It’s not that our country is overcrowded; it’s that the main population centers where people feel they can most easily find work are past being overcrowded. I saw an AP article that states over half of our population is located on each coast. If it were a cartoon, each coast would struggle under the weight of so many people until ultimately falling into the ocean, leaving a lot of room and a lot less people in the middle parts of our country. Good thing it’s not a cartoon, although the population situation is a little comical.

In what other country would there be a countdown for its populace to reach a certain number and then when it happens, everyone bitches? It would be similar to everyone gathering in Times Square to celebrate on New Years Eve and when the Ball finally drops and Dick Clark wishes us Happy New Year, they turn around to boo and then leave. We should be happy that we are doing so well and that we are reaching each 100 million mark faster than the previous one! Bigger and better in America, isn’t it?

I have a special reason to celebrate. The same article I read mentioned in a list of the country’s fastest growing types of areas that Riverside, California is the fastest growing metropolitan area! Woo Hoo! Am I upset? Why no, I think being one suburb away from the fastest growing metro area is a wonderful thing and something worth bragging about. The fact that it takes longer than ever to go anywhere and that the local freeway is a constant parking lot is a good thing. Coming home mumbling about traffic every night is just the way I tend to celebrate things.

Our country has a lot of room to expand (ever been to Needles, California) so we should set a goal of reaching the next 100 million mark with zeal. We should take to the streets for “Uncontained Growth” parties that will feature concerts and free food to get everyone excited about beating the population numbers of those that we trail. Look out China and India! We may trail by a very wide margin, but we’ve got room in this country and we know how to reproduce. The United States doesn’t like losing at too many things and since we are currently winning the bronze in the Overpopulation Olympics, we’ll have to do our part to contribute to the population boom.

Bottom line: we should not be upset about passing the 300 million mark, we should use it as incentive to get to the next 100 million mark even faster, and the one after that and the one after that and the one after that…Mr. or Mrs. 300 Millionth American, we salute you!

10 comments:

Odat said...

I celebrate this too!! Maybe I'll meet up with you somewhere in the ocean when the west coast and east coast collapse. And I love that I can get really really close to people (on the subway every morning)!
Peace

Awesome Mom said...

So, how are you planning on helping us reach this mark that much sooner? Are you ready to have five more kids? lol

Lee said...

I thought this was interesting as it happened the same week that married couple households became the "minority" in America. Hmmmmm. We're overpopulating our country, yet less and less of us are married. Fascinating!

mist1 said...

Gotta remember to refill my prescription for the pill.

Kristin said...

That's it, it's getting too crowded in here. I'm moving to the internet.

Ra Ra Ra Bunggio said...

I suppose counting up to a population number is better than counting down till everyone's dead...

Michael C said...

Odat: Do you want to bring the raft? I have an alligator one, but I'm not sure how well it'll do in the tide.

Awesome Mom: There are studies that show that couples who have twins 'naturally' can be prone to more twins or multiples. I guess the answer is yes, I may very well end up doing more part to overpopulate ;-)

Lee: That is very fascinating indeed. Go figure. I guess it's the American Way.

Mist: That would seem to be the opposite of catching China and India, but maybe that's your point ;-)

Kristin: That's a great plan! There's unlimited room on the internet. Gosh, I think there is...I mean I hope there is!

Ra Ra: I hand't thought of it that way, but how hollow would it feel to be the last one alive, have counted all that way and then not get to tell anyone!!

ShadowFalcon said...

There are how many of you people, damn it will have to think before making more Yank jokes ;-)

Shaymus said...

wow 300 million..I dont think we will catch you's...I will have to get busy!

Lizza said...

But, but, if you on crazy reproduction mode you'll drive the people who make contraceptives out of business!

The idea of moving to the Internet...coooool.