Congratulations America, We Did It!!

As you have probably read by now and will undoubtedly read and hear more about in the next few days, America’s population total topped 300 million earlier this morning. It’s funny because I thought downtown LA had that many people last time I was there. It sure seemed that way. While I obviously don’t have a great concept of numbers, I can tell you in a very scientific way that 300 million is a lot of people. As of this writing, I don’t know who the lucky 300 millionth person was but Disneyland has promised them a free annual pass. Our country is definitely growing and from what I have read, it seems that our 300 millionth member (if you will) has not really given us a reason to celebrate. I disagree and say start the party!

It’s not that our country is overcrowded; it’s that the main population centers where people feel they can most easily find work are past being overcrowded. I saw an AP article that states over half of our population is located on each coast. If it were a cartoon, each coast would struggle under the weight of so many people until ultimately falling into the ocean, leaving a lot of room and a lot less people in the middle parts of our country. Good thing it’s not a cartoon, although the population situation is a little comical.

In what other country would there be a countdown for its populace to reach a certain number and then when it happens, everyone bitches? It would be similar to everyone gathering in Times Square to celebrate on New Years Eve and when the Ball finally drops and Dick Clark wishes us Happy New Year, they turn around to boo and then leave. We should be happy that we are doing so well and that we are reaching each 100 million mark faster than the previous one! Bigger and better in America, isn’t it?

I have a special reason to celebrate. The same article I read mentioned in a list of the country’s fastest growing types of areas that Riverside, California is the fastest growing metropolitan area! Woo Hoo! Am I upset? Why no, I think being one suburb away from the fastest growing metro area is a wonderful thing and something worth bragging about. The fact that it takes longer than ever to go anywhere and that the local freeway is a constant parking lot is a good thing. Coming home mumbling about traffic every night is just the way I tend to celebrate things.

Our country has a lot of room to expand (ever been to Needles, California) so we should set a goal of reaching the next 100 million mark with zeal. We should take to the streets for “Uncontained Growth” parties that will feature concerts and free food to get everyone excited about beating the population numbers of those that we trail. Look out China and India! We may trail by a very wide margin, but we’ve got room in this country and we know how to reproduce. The United States doesn’t like losing at too many things and since we are currently winning the bronze in the Overpopulation Olympics, we’ll have to do our part to contribute to the population boom.

Bottom line: we should not be upset about passing the 300 million mark, we should use it as incentive to get to the next 100 million mark even faster, and the one after that and the one after that and the one after that…Mr. or Mrs. 300 Millionth American, we salute you!