Saturday, July 21, 2007

Things I Learned This Week: 7/21/07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason it never makes me look good. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 7/15/07-7/21/07.

! I learned that I should NEVER show up to work humming ‘Islands In The Stream.’ There is never any acceptable excuse for me to be doing that or much I can say when someone realizes what it is I’m humming.

! I learned that when I awake on the downstairs floor approximately two hours after dinner and Lucy and Ethel have been trying to amuse themselves all that time, I am going to find a mess. Actually, several messes. They get bored easily.

! I learned that you can’t lie to a coworker and say you DID NOT go to a BBQ joint for lunch when you emanate the smell of wood fire smoke from every pore. You may not realize it, but those around you most certainly will.

! I learned that I need to get a life when I found myself and a friend standing on the back of a bass boat outside of Bass Pro Shops trying to get a picture of a crab boat captain from TV’s ‘Deadliest Catch’ inside when we couldn’t get into the building because of the immense grand opening crowds. It makes the story even more depressing when I add that I emailed the blurry long distance photo I was able to take to friends. Seriously, when did all of these rednecks move to Southern California? I don’t mind, I just wish I got to meet them sooner to talk about racing, BBQ and exchange road kill recipes.

! I learned that when I take directions from two 4 ½ year olds about what shirt and tie combination I am going to wear to work, I really need to reassert myself as the parent.

! I learned that the gang from work possible eats too often at the little Mexican Food joint across the parking lot. We decided to go someone else yesterday and the owners just watched us walk by with hurt looks on their faces. They also like to point out that we missed eating there whenever we skip a day and then ask where we went instead. It’s an odd feeling really, when you are being stalked by the proprietors of a family owned restaurant. Maybe we’ll bring flowers if we eat there Monday.

And lastly,

! I learned that a written report for work should never be the place to try out words like ‘Husseined,’ ‘Alec Baldwined’ or phrases like ‘their performance was similar to that of one of Dick Cheney’s buddies on a hunting trip.’ I guess I’ll save that stuff for my blog.

18 comments:

Odat said...

When you hummed "Islands in the sun" at work, were you wearing the shirt and tie picked out by the twins????
Peace

Patti said...

Re-assert yourself as a parent? ;-)

AndreAnna said...

How about next time you say something really dorky, but yet intelligent, you can say you "Alton Browned" it.

And if you ever come up with a good string of curse words, naturally, you AndreAnnaed it. :)

Just telling it like it is said...

That is the first time I have ever heard of anyone being stalked by a family owned Mexican Joint...maybe you should bring tequila I am sure they would forgive you for sure!!

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

Dude, you lost the kids' battle a long time ago and that's fine. I'm always asking my kids for validation. Surrender.

Michael C said...

Odat: Uhhhh, yeah... ;-)

Patti: I am rarely the one in charge ;-)

AndreAnna: Those SO belong in the dictionary!! You just Webstered or Oxforded it with those 2 words!!!

Just Telling: I am going to try that! I get nacho withdrawals and need to mend the bridge with them ;-) You are so helpful.

Pawlie: I will surrender. So, how's that ode to my Dodgers coming??
;-)

Violet said...

It's a bit rough when you feel like you have to eat at a particular place just to avoid hurting the owners' feelings.

Airam said...

Maybe you can use Brandy's term "obama-ed"? Perhaps that'll be a little more politically correct seeing as how the presidential election is right around the corner.

Michael C said...

Violet: Yeah, when you put it that way, you are right!!

Airam: Using Obama-ed is a great idea!!

brandy said...

"Islands in the STream" is a personal favourite actually. Dolly and Kenny together are like... magic. Like peanut butter and jam. Like Bert and Ernie. Like tequila and a Sunday morning. Some things just go together. As for your written report, I'm sorry to hear that "Husseined" wasn't realized for it's genius. I said "OBAMA" to my boss the other day. She looked at me like I was the tool. Little did she know, that she was in fact, the tool.

Michael C said...

Brandy: It is a great song! Do you know who wrote it? The Bee Gees. I guarantee that little factoid will help you win at Trivial Pursuit some day! Yes, your boss is a tool for not realizing the genius of you using 'Obama.'

Heart Of Darkness said...

Boy, you do learn a lot... often... LOL


What can you teach me that I have to know for my life to be less empty? ;)

Jenny! said...

Thats kind of creepy with the restaurant owners...do they ask about your dinner too?

Michael C said...

Heart: Uhhh, can I get back to you on that?? ;-)

Jenny!: Only once. Do you think we should slowly stop going there??

Erica AP said...

When I was in kindagarden my best friend and I used to sing "Islands in the Stream" all the time. ALL the time.

Michael C said...

Erica AP: It's a classic!!!!!!

Tammie Jean said...

Hi Michael C! I loooove Deadliest Catch! I think I've seen every episode.

FRIGGA said...

" I learned that a written report for work should never be the place to try out words like ‘Husseined,’ ‘Alec Baldwined’ "

Are you sure about this one?

And now I'm kicking myself in the rear, here is it the 2nd Tuesday in a row that I have slacked off and not submitted a question. Arg. Next week, next week...