Saturday, July 14, 2007

Things I Learned This Week: 7/14/07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason it never makes me look good. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 7/8/07-7/14/07.

! I learned that using a bounce house in the summer heat is far more effective than a sauna. Just make sure you don’t slip on the self-made puddles while bouncing…

! I learned that I actually have the attention span to use a slinky on the stairs for 2 straight hours. Why can’t I put that type of dedication into work? Oh, that’s right – slinky = fun, while work = 14th lower level of hell.

! I learned that when you wake up at 8:30 in the morning and it is already over 80 degrees, it is going to be a miserably hot day. This is the time to seek out a relative, friend or store that doesn’t mind turning their AC on full blast.

! I learned that my coworkers and me should never, ever take Socially Oblivious Guy to lunch with us. This is especially true if there is even the slightest chance that the restaurant will have a young attractive waitress in a t-shirt.

! I learned that driving around with my boss is not the time to discuss my blog or where I may do my blogging. Subsequently, you may begin to notice me starting to post my writing at a slightly different time of day than I have been doing.

! I learned that no matter how excited I may personally be about the release of Hallmark’s 2007 Christmas Ornaments this weekend, not everyone shares that joy or wants to hear me go on and on about it. But seriously, they have this Christmas Story one that…oh sorry, I’m doing it again.

And lastly,

! I learned that even though it cracks me up every time I say it, my pregnant coworker doesn’t like me asking her every morning if she would like some ice cream with a pickle on top. The same goes for my recent 12-minute dissertation about how she shouldn’t feel sick in the afternoon because it’s called morning sickness, not afternoon sickness.

27 comments:

Patti said...

Were Lucy and Ethel playing with the Slinky with you or was this a solo kind of pasttime?
Two hours is rather troubling.

Ralph said...

- With the bounce house, bounce naked! Just don't fall, because the puddles of sweat against your bare skin act like glue against the vinyl bouncehouse floor...
- I like your comparison of work to Hades...
- You didn't take your co-worker to Hooters, did you???!!!
- There is nothing wrong with discussing ornaments. However, we do not have many commerative Hallmark ones , but we do have the entire series of CVS Santas over the past eight years...
- The pregnant co-worker, she is not sick of you, yet?

AndreAnna said...

Whatever you do, do not tell Mike you own a slinky. I have hid ours.

His new obsession is Magnetix.

Sigh.

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

You are very brave for even admitting to blogging to your boss. I've told exactly two people in my "real" life about my blog...both friends. I don't think I'll tell too many other people. Hehe.

brandy said...

Oh MC... a slinky and a bounce house? You are living my dream. As for hot temps, I can relate. I spent the day in the movie theatre because it was cold and dark and I couldn't find a cave anywhere. Sidenote- I also discovered I'm now that person in the theatre who will 'shush' children into silence. I'm still pondering how I feel about this recent personal development.

Michael C said...

Patti: At when point a child may have wandered in ;-)

Ralph: It wasn't Hooters. I swear!

AndreAnna: I won't say a word. Now I have to go buy Magnetix!

Silver: Would that brave or stupid??

Brandy: Yes, it was a fun week! I have kids of my own and I'm a bigger 'shusher' than anyone. Give it time my friend, you'll get used to this new development in your life ;-)

brandy said...

MC- I will take your advice. Although, the day I use my own spit to clean the face of my child, I might need to take a step back. I know this is going to happen, and I'm trying to prepare for it. Because the moment it happens, I will have officially become my mom.

Michael C said...

Brandy: Of all the days for you to make mention of this method of children's face cleaning. I did exactly that when I took Lucy and Ethel out for ice cream today...

phishez_rule said...

Slinkies rock. Kids toys are so underrated. Then again, adult toys are so much more fun.

Lis said...

2 straight hours? Man, you should get an award for that.

captain corky said...

I'm sure your coworker loves you for those questions. Funny stuff as always Michael.

Odat said...

I love slinkies!!!! Don't know that I'd play with them for two hours tho...lol.
Have a great weekend!
Peace

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

michael, don't tease your pregnant co-worker. They are known to be unpredictable and have claws.

Aisby said...

Slinky, Slinky, It's fun for a girl or a boy!

Patti said...

Silly Putty can be fun too..

Michael C said...

Phishez: I'll make a note of that ;-)

Lis: I don't know about an award, but a lifetime supply of Slinkys for promoting their product would be cool.

Corky: There's a rumor she has asked to have her cubicle moved away from mine ;-)

Odat: You mean not everyone gets addicted to slinkys on the stairs?

Lone Grey: Oooh, claws would be bad...

Aisby: Ah, that takes me back!

Patti: Yes it can be and it doesn't crumble and get everywhere like Playdoh does. Although Playdoh smells so much better ;-)

CS said...

Oh, Michael, if you had pulled that "shouldn't feel sick in the afternoon" thing on me when I was pregnant and royally sick all day everyday for months, I would have hurt you. Hurt you badly, in fact!

Heart Of Darkness said...

I see that once again, I ahve taught you nothing this week...

kat said...

All very wise pieces of advice and learning that you have shared, cubi-san. Thank you for your teachings!

Tammie Jean said...

I love that scene in Pet Detective 2 when Ace does Slinky down the steps of the temple.

And OMG, did you really mention your blog to your boss???

Michael C said...

Cs: Yeah, I may have overdone it. I was much more behaved today ;-)

Heart: Are you sure about that??

Kat: you are welcome. If you try any of these things and they backfire, just don't let me know, ok? ;-)

Tammie: Uh, yeah.....I've never pretended to be the brightest blogger...

Heart Of Darkness said...

Nope, that's why I'm asking...

Michael C said...

Heart: You taught me not to share the REALLY dumb stuff I did this week. Thanks!

Heart Of Darkness said...

*eh*


You gonna do better then that!

FRIGGA said...

One day I'll inherit hundreds of thousands of dollars in Hallmark ornaments from my father.

But I have no loyalties to Hallmark who decided to cancel every series I ever tried to collect! Arg!

Buffy said...

lol

(ice cream with pickle on top)

Funny.

I'm easy like that.

Buffy said...

lol

(ice cream with pickle on top)

Funny.

I'm easy like that.