Thursday, July 19, 2007

Lazy Thursday Repost: I’ve Heard Of Cleansing The Soul, But This Is Ridiculous…

I do my posts in MS Word and then paste them into Blogger. Well, that is when I remember to save the whole thing. So, that post will be slightly recreated tomorrow and you get this one today. Thanks in advance for your understanding.

An 81-year old Austrian woman is really, really clean right now. According to the AP, she was stuck in her bathtub for four days after not being strong enough to get out after a bath. Hmmm, where to start? Cue up the lame punch lines…I promise the jokes will be ‘clean.’

I know that the elderly tend to get wrinkles, but can you imagine how prune-like this lady looked? She could have joined the California Raisins singing group as a soprano. Rub a dub dub, she’s stuck in the tub…Splish Splash, she can’t get out of the bath…Calgon took her away, it just forgot to bring her back. I bet her reputation is sinking fast. Four days in a bath will really wash that gray right out of her hair. When they said she lives in her tub, I just figured they meant she likes to take baths. Do you think she finally got hungry enough and ate the rubber ducky? Supposedly, they taste like chicken.

Seriously, I can’t imagine being in that predicament. I hope she went to the restroom prior to getting into the bathtub. I don’t even want to think about the harrowing decision that faced her if she needed to go. Potential tragedies like this should make those Life Alert people produce a waterproof version of their necklace. “Help, I’m bathing and I can’t get up!” We should probably have waterproof cordless phones too so that there can always be one next to the tub. “Hi Jimmy, this is Mom. Yeah, I can’t get out of the bathtub again. Yes, I promise I’ll cover myself with a towel when you get here. I don’t see why you are so embarrassed, that’s where you popped out from when I brought you into this world.”

I bet the nights got awfully cold as she lay in that water once the heat wore off. While it might not be on par with the Apollo 11 story, this is quite a tale of survival. To her credit, she never gave up and kept knocking on the wall until finally her neighbors heard her. Although in good condition when she was rescued, she had to be taken to the hospital so she could be treated for exposure. I just wonder if it was her exposure to water or that she was exposed? Call me insensitive here, but it’s the rescuers that should be treated for exposure after seeing a naked elderly woman who had been lying in water for four days…

16 comments:

Airam said...

4 days!! What does that say about her family!! Do they not check up on her?

Michael C said...

Airam: Sadly, not very much...
How hard is it to think 'hey, when was the last time that my elderly mother who lives alone called me?'

Lis said...

I hope if I live to be 81, I won't be stuck in a bathtub for 4 days. I don't think I look good wrinkled. Not that wrinkled anyway.

Michael C said...

Lis: I'm just hoping I don't live to be 81. ;-)

Patti said...

Prunella lives! This is funny, especially the waterproof Life Alert necklace.

So to what age do you hope to live? Is there a cut-off?

Odat said...

You're a very sick man michael.;-)
Peace

Stepping Over the Junk said...

I know a guy who cares for his 95 year old aunt and she yells for him (they live in a multifamily house) when she gets stuck in the tub...he said her butt acts like a suction cup on the bathtub floor.

AndreAnna said...

A suction-cup ass? Now I've heard it all.

Patti said...

maybe she should take a shower

Crashdummie said...

i suppose everything tastes like chicken... but then again I wouldn't know - I'm a vegetarian..

ignorance is such a bliss. have a wicked weekend!

Michael C said...

Patti: Prunella? That is hysterical!!

Odat: Well, I do have a little bit of a cough right now ;-)

Stepping Over The Junk: Ewww, 95 year-old suction cup hiney? I just threw up a little in my mouth... ;-)

AndreAnna: That image is now seared into my fragile little mind...

Patti: Yeah, it does seem like the obvious solution.

Crash: Ignorance is bliss. Don't hate me because I'm a slave to my love of meat ;-) You have a great weekend too!

katherine. said...

you know I can't get forty MINUTES for a bath without the phone ringing a couple of times...

Erica AP said...

I can't believe this. She must have drained the water right? I just don't get it. I can't wrap my head around it...

kat said...

You're so mean!!!! All those old lady jokes! One day you are going to have one of those old man weenie thingies and you're going to remember how mean you were about this old lady and you're going to feel really bad about it.

:)

And where the hell is her family in all this? Didn't they worry after not speaking to Nana for a couple of days that something might be afloat? I mean amiss?

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

Good thing she didn't drown, can you imagine?

Heart Of Darkness said...

Wow... and old people already look like raisins...

*sigh*


Now I wont be able to get rid of the image, and I sure as hell don't need another reason for not sleeping... thank you, Mikey, thank you very much...