Thursday, July 05, 2007

Not All Holidays Are Celebrateable – Yes I Know That’s Not A Real Word.

I tend to celebrate A LOT of holidays. Until the last few months, I had no idea that every day presented a cornucopia (or a bevy, if you will) of holidays just waiting to be celebrated. Take for instance tomorrow’s Fried Chicken Day. Yes, I’ll be at KFC for lunch hoisting up an original recipe chicken leg like a fat Elizabethan member of nobility hoists aloft a huge turkey leg. I’m always up for a good (if not quite legitimate) holiday celebration.

Today however is most definitely NOT one of those days. Today is Workaholics Day. When I found this out, my first inclination was to call in sick and not go to work today. After all, I am many things (most of which are not flattering according to my enemies and coworkers, uh, and family), but I am in no way even close to being considered a Workaholic. Embarrassingly, I actually had to look that word up. You mean to tell me that there are people in this world dedicated enough to their jobs to be addicted to it? There are people out there that don’t leave the minute the ‘official’ workday ends? This may be more shocking to me than the fact that I only recently saw Monty Python’s Holy Grail for the first time. Honestly, I wouldn’t even know what to say to a workaholic. Although, ‘what the heck is your problem, man’ comes to mind.

When I got to work today, I made sure to tell everyone that today was indeed Workaholics Day. The general response I got was something to the effect of ‘then what are you doing here?’ I think there’s really only one way to take a comment like that. I have therefore begun my secret word of the day. It’s ‘expedient.’ Now, that seemed like a good idea at the time, but I’m now in my second hour of my secret word and no one has used it yet. I guess I should have picked a more common word like ‘report’ or ‘concomitant.’ Actually, my boss sent me an email with concomitant in it, but I’m not sure how emails work on the whole secret word thing. Besides, I can’t really get him for saying the secret word. Well I could, but I’d probably end up getting home early today while carrying a box full of all my office’s personal belongings, if you catch my drift.

Since no one (including myself) finds me capable of being a workaholic, I’m tempted to take that as a challenge to prove to everyone just how hard I can work. Here’s the problem with that though, I really don’t want to. I’ve given a lot of thought to being a workaholic and everything necessary to accomplish that. First up would be me getting to work on time, if not early. Both would be major shifts in my lifestyle. Since I am not time carded, I usually leave the house at about the time I should be powering up my office PC. This change creates a necessary domino effect that I am not quite prepared to execute. I would have to get up earlier and that would necessitate me going to bed earlier. Going to bed earlier would impact my prime blogging time as well as my ability to have homemade nachos as a nighttime snack. Without my nighttime plate of nachos, I can’t sleep, so surely you can see the concerns I have with this one. I have finally achieved the perfect balance and harmony that my body requires to be as efficient and industrious as possible, and messing with that delicate balance can only produce disastrous effects. After all, when a seed finally starts growing into a plant, you don’t yank the plant from the ground, right? Ok, if it’s a weed, I guess that’s ok. For the sake of this analogy however, I feel I need to assert the fact that I am not a weed. Shrubbery maybe, but not a weed.

Let’s say I do get to work on time, my work habits would need to be changed to achieve true workaholic status. First and foremost here would be me needing to pay more attention at work, which would require me to not play as many pranks or all the other things I try to do to make the office environment more fun. I also believe that being a workaholic must mean no more ‘sneak’ naps while in my office. I’m not completely sure about this, but it’s a gut feeling I have. Also, I fear taking my second lunch everyday could be in jeopardy. Lastly, to be a true workaholic, I would be required to stay at work longer. Considering my day ends at 5PM and I already begin wrapping everything up daily shortly after lunch, a major operational adjustment needs to be made. I guess me getting a recess period instituted at work is now out the window.

Obviously, no matter how hard I might try, I just don’t think my current lifestyle and habits lend themselves very well to becoming a workaholic. I guess that makes me ‘work sober’ or the ‘designated non-worker.’ Yeah, I could be much better at those. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go back to looking busy when people walk by. Yes, that often requires more effort than actually working, but it’s all about principles man.

31 comments:

AndreAnna said...

If you get to use a secret word, can mine be "truthiness"?

Patti said...

If you would only put as much effort into working as apparently you do into avoiding same, you could make something of yourself yet, young man.


I forgot what concomitant means. I'll have to look it up now.

Michael C said...

AndreAnna: Truthiness works just great! I've been debating using strategery myself...I actually used it yesterday like it was a real word without even realizing it.

Patti: Point Taken! I will get right on that!! Eventually ;-)

TexasPeanut said...

Awe..I know you can do it, you could definitely become a workaholic...then again why isn't that what our companies expect from us. Can you be a part-time workaholic, like coming to work on-time one day and late the next, actually get work done another day, etc... Keep the boss man guessing that's my theory.

Patti said...

I like that keeping the boss man (or woman) guessing theory.

Natalie said...

Workaholic is not a good thing. Sadly too many people think that it is. The hint is that whole "holic" thing at the end. Generally dependence on something is bad. People die from being workaholics. Is there an alcoholic's day?

Michael C said...

TexasPeanut: You maybe on to something with the alternating working days!

Patti: Me too!

Natalie: Yes, the holic is a huge red flag!! ;-)

Tammie Jean said...

Oh, I can relate to this post. I too leave the house at about the time I should be turning on the computer at work, I generally leave at 5 on the dot, and I haven't seen Holy Grail (should I rent it?)
BTW - "I’m tempted to take that as a challenge to prove to everyone just how hard I can work. Here’s the problem with that though, I really don’t want to" That is freakin hilarious!

Michael C said...

Tammie: Thanks! Yes, see the Holy Grail!! I'll make you a deal, you try to leave on time one day and I will too. Nah, I'm just kidding ;-)

Odat said...

So that's why I took off today!!!
(wasn't planned either, I just called in this morning!) Had to catch up on my sleep for staying out late the other nite...ahahaha!
Peace

Michael C said...

Odat: Yeah, I distinctly remember you telling me that you worked today and tomorrow...good for you! I thought about doing the same ;-)

Tammie Jean said...

Yeah, I just can't do it! I think it's because I just don't really want to go. I wanna be like the guy in Office Space and just not care.

FRIGGA said...

"I feel I need to assert the fact that I am not a weed." - Once again you have me laughing out loud! :-)

Ralph said...

I was contacted by a company today about a position, and the manager wants likes to conduct interviews after 5:00, the HR contact used the word (humorously, I guess) 'Workaholic'. I cringed. As it turns out, the building is not accessable for my wheelchair, so I had to pass on working for the workaholic...

I think the sign could read Dweeb:

Dedicated
Worker
Enjoys
Enabling the
Boss

ian said...

Michael - I tagged you, because you were due.

Ian

Michael C said...

Tammie: I can't do it either and yes, that guy from Office Space deserves a statue in offices everywhere!

Frigga: I'm glad. I can be seedy, but not weedy. Ok, that was pretty bad...

Ralph: I like your sign better and sorry about the interview!

Ian: Thanks, I think. I don't know yet ;-)

Just telling it like it is said...

okay that made me laugh!! since I have only worked one time in 2 weeks...I know you are wondering how I can get away with that...well I work for a resource company and have decided to be an at home mom for these last 2 summer months...even though I am the one finacing it...0hhhh well...less money for beer...I would say the only thing that I can be called a workaholic for is my blogging time...I will stop at nothing for this opportinuity...so at least I can say that I work for something...as I am payed well in comments...

Michael C said...

Just Telling: Good for you for staying home! That's what I did for the twins' first year. I like the blogging as work thing. I think I shall copy you!!!

Just telling it like it is said...

Doesn't pay much but I guess the kid will only be 12 yrs. old once at 5'6 and size 12 shoes in mens...let's hope he doesn't like wear a size 26 by the time he is 18...or I'll be broke...untill then I guess I will make him read, do site words...make him clean the car...Oh so many things to do while I blog...He is kinda worth all the time off...way to much time for me to think of crazy stuff to write..

Michael C said...

Just Telling: Enjoy the time! I'm jealous. I'd love to stay at home with Lucy and Ethel (and blog too, of course) ;-)

Heart Of Darkness said...

I'm a workaholic, celebrate me! ;)

After all, when a seed finally starts growing into a plant, you don’t yank the plant from the ground, right?

Oh, okay, now I'm starting to understand what I do wrong... does this apply to actual plants as well, or only methaphorically?


:D

Michael C said...

Heart: Of course we're celebrating you...it's your special day. Remember?

Yeah, I think the plant thing applies in real life too. It's real life application is much better than when used metaphorically...

Heart Of Darkness said...

Oh, so should stop uprooting my plants? Oh... yeah, that might be better for them! :)

My day, my day, my day.. . LOL

Michael C said...

Heart: Have you tried actually watering them or even singing to them? My little office plant likes Sinatra. It's my coworkers that don't like me singing it ;-)

Yes, I get the fact that it's your day. LOL

Heart Of Darkness said...

My day.........!

;)


Watering? Water? Um... why?

Michael C said...

Heart: Yes, your day, I get it...
;-)

Have you thought of silk plants???

Heart Of Darkness said...

Aren't they ALL silk?


Oups...


;)

Michael C said...

Heart: Ha, ha, ha! Looks like we found the problem ;-)

Erica AP said...

Workaholics are crazy bastards!!! Who wants to work in the first place and who wants to be addicted to that? Give me chocolate any day...

Michael C said...

Erica: Now that is the right attitude to have!!!

kat said...

Don't be a workaholic! It would mess up something in the cosmos!!!

‘Work sober’ seems to keep you pretty busy as it is. I've never heard of anyone filling up a day with so much nothing and non-working and work avoidance in my entire life. You are a pro.