Saturday, June 16, 2007

Things I Learned This Week: 6/16/07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason it never makes me look good. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 6/10/07-6/16/07.

! I learned that when Lucy accidentally hit me in the crotch, I should not have said ‘ouch, you hit my man area.’ ‘Man area’ has now become Lucy and Ethel’s most frequently used phrase, followed of course my ‘lady area.’ Oops.

! I learned that my boss didn’t appreciate me telling the new guy that I do things differently than my boss does when new guy asked me for help. I also learned that I should have told new guy that not everything I’ll be telling him is meant for my boss to hear.

! I learned that just because it’s summer and 100 degrees out, cruising around listening to 40-year-old Beach Boys songs doesn’t make me cool. Now maybe if I was my parents’ age…nah, still wouldn’t be cool.

! I learned that using the phrase ‘wow, did you see how he was macking on her’ hasn’t been popular for several years. No one told me this exactly, I just figured it out when I said it and everyone in the office stopped what they were doing and asked me to repeat myself.

! I learned that Mountain Dews and ice cream are not appropriate nighttime snacks for Lucy and Ethel. How did I learn this you ask? It crossed my mind when they were still up singing to themselves at 1AM.

! I learned that my office doesn’t recognize Flag Day as an official day off. In my book, if it’s important enough to put on a calendar, it is supposed to be a day off. I even called human resources about this, but they didn’t agree with me. Although I get the feeling they put something negative about me in my employee file after I accused them of being heartless dictators.

And lastly,

! I learned that Mr. Lay Low and I should not have tried to convince Female Coworker that she and her fellow jury just helped to send an innocent man to jail when she told us about the case she just finished being a juror on. Apparently, we convinced her too well and she spent the rest of the day feeling very guilty. You’d think by now she knows better than to believe us.


**Also, Happy Birthday to my little brother today**

22 comments:

Just telling it like it is said...

well..it is can be cool to listen to the beach boys...just don't pierce your ear!! tehehehe..

Just telling it like it is said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michael C said...

Just telling: Thanks for the support! I actually have a mole on my ear lobe right where a piercing would be, so everyone thinks my ear is pierced ;-)

AndreAnna said...

Ha,ha, "man area" Too funny!

My grandmother calls it "her Mary" and now when my nephew hurts his "man area" he tells everyone that he hurt his Mary.

Oh, my family.

Just telling it like it is said...

Okay I mean this in the best way maybe you should get an ear ring...I had a mole on my back once and the dermatologist said I can remove that for the low low price of 75 dollars and I will throw in the other mole ( I can even tell you where this one was use your imagination) for free.... ahh yes my life...

Michael C said...

Just Telling: I would be scared of a dermatologist that was willing to bargain ;-)
$75 does sound like a good deal though ;-)

Patti said...

Seems like you are always looking for a day off from work. Methinks you need a new job for which you have a passion.

Never fear, the *Fourth of July* will be here before you know it.
:-)

Michael C said...

Patti: is it that obvious??
The 4th is my second favorite holiday of the year!

KAISER SCOTT said...

I THINK MEAT AND 2 POTATOES SOUNDS BETTER THAN MAN AREA ..

MACKING WOW THAT SOUNDS JR HIGH-ISH

TRY VAULT SODA AND TWIX'S THATS A SUGAR HIGH THAT JUST KEEPS ON GOING I HAD MY KID ASK ME WHERE THE BLOODY SODA WAS AT 2 AM ONCE

Just telling it like it is said...

I was affraid of him...he told me your mole on your back looks like sh#@, Let's just cut it off... I walked out with minus 2 moles and a vision that my moles turned people off for years...I didn't know what hit me...
and P. s. take it easy...I hate to even walk around in 100 degree weather...hope your feeling better...

Heart Of Darkness said...

Hey, my boss doesn't like me contradicting him, either! Wonder why...? :)

Crashdummie said...

You live and learn (hopefully).
Cheers :)

Michael C said...

Scott: Maybe you and I should take a dad class or something.

Just Telling: Just remember, moles give you character ;-)

Heart: Bosses are funny that way, aren't they? I've also found they don't like it when they think I'm not listening to them. Go figure ;-)

Crash: I'm living, but the learning hasn't been easy :-)

brandy said...

Okay seriously? I want to feel sorry for Female Co-worker after the stunt you guys recently pulled on her, but she's got to get it together and retaliate in a big way. Doesn't she see that she needs to deal with you aggressively? (And yes, that sentence is too funny in my mind to re-write) Perhaps by moving your desk into a bathroom? Or sending you a fax from the future? She has so many good reasons to get back at you, I just feel like she's missing it. Man. You are very lucky we don't share an office MC. Very lucky.

Michael C said...

Brandy: FACT - I was hoping you'd be on my side. Also, remind me never to cross you. Ever. By the way, how's your Thursday today going??
;-)

brandy said...

MC, you are going to have to try harder than that to trick me. Besides the fact I've watched all the episodes, I have a younger brother who's life mission is to confuse me. Oh, and don't think I've forgotten about my song either. I thought since you are a dad I would give you the weekend off from practicing so you know, you could celebrate fatherhood and family, but on Monday I better be getting some lyrics sent my way. Or else.

Michael C said...

Brandy: I have sent invitations to Burt Bacharach, Bernie Taupin and Barry Gibb to help me in writing 'The New Brandy Song.' Don't fear, I'm sure they'll join me.

mist1 said...

Yo, the phrase "macking on" is mad lame. You need to check yourself.

Word to your mother.

Michael C said...

Mist: That's my bad. I'm not down with today's radical sayings.

Girl on the Run... said...

I love this!

Lucy and Ethel make me want to run out and have babies! lol

So sweet! Man area...lady area... love that... :)

Thanks for this!
All the best,
M

FRIGGA said...

So here I am, young and alive. Thinking I'm at least moderately cool.

That is until I get home and read my lessons for the week. I now know that my listening to the Beach Boys today completely renegged any cool I might have had.

To make it worse, when a coworker walked in, I pointed out to him "Hey, you like my Beach Boys?"

At least I didn't use the term "macked!"

kat said...

I totally want to be in support of all the holidays you try to implement at work but I've seen your holiday calendar and the majority of those celebrations are bullshit.

Sorry, bro.