Thursday, June 21, 2007

Do It Again

For some reason, I had the urge today to name this post after the title of one of my favorite songs. I have no idea where that idea came from, but it’s by the Beach Boys and I heard it yesterday while walking (and by walking I mean clutching my chest, gasping and struggling through every step – man, I love exercise!!). ‘Do It Again’ is a great song about a So Cal summer and it got me thinking that today is officially the beginning of summer. Woo Hoo. I love me some summer. Sorry, I was trying to be cool and hip there, but fear I didn’t pull it off. Seriously, I love Summer. I’m just sorry she doesn’t love me back. Again, sorry. My train of thought keeps derailing.

I have always enjoyed summer. From swimming or playing softball, to staying out until the sun went down or just not having to be in school, it was always such a fun time. Even today, just the scent of cocoa sun tan lotion takes me back. There were trips to beach, sun burns, too much chlorine in the eyes and my favorite summery side effect – not being able to breath because of all the smog in my lungs after taking in deep breaths before swimming all day. I swear there were some summer nights my friends and I were like the walking dead. We couldn’t see, our eyes were blood shot and burned, our skin was more charred than a cheap plate of ribs and we breathed worse than an asthmatic. I just wish I knew why we couldn’t get dates back then. Gosh, I miss it!

Of course things are much different today. As a working adult, (well I show up to work, the working part is still under HR investigation), summer is awfully different than it used to be. Now, summer just means I get to sit in the office and have the AC on (when it’s working) instead of the heater (when that is working). There are no windows in our department, but if we’re lucky, we see the sun shine through the doorway when someone opens it. Sadly, it doesn’t even excite us anymore. Oh, and it’s hotter when we leave the office and the sun is still up when I head home. Other than that, there is really no way of being able to tell that summer is upon us.

I thought I would attempt to change that yesterday. Knowing that today would be the Summer Solstice (Latin for ‘Hope you lost that weight buddy, summer’s here,’ I’m sure), I approached my boss about the proper way to honor this important day. Other countries apparently have big bashes to welcome summer, so why shouldn’t we? Now my boss is the type of guy who likes to be presented with a plan, so I took detailed time (in between looking for a new ringtone and figuring out how to take two lunches) to put my ideas in a neatly crafted PowerPoint presentation…on napkins, from the place we went for lunch #1.

I told my boss that we should all get to wear Hawaiian shirts and fake floral leis. I even offered to buy fake (or would it be imitation – imitation sounds fancier) bamboo to place throughout the office. My presentation even included a slide, I mean napkin, dedicated to appropriate Summer Solstice music. I choose Jimmy Buffett and The Beach Boys. Realizing how important eating is to the office, I also included the fee for roasting a whole pig in the parking lot. I made up the estimate for the fee because I have no idea where to find someone in our city who does whole hog and the 411 information phone line kept hanging up on me when I asked for the number for pigs on a spit. Wait a minute, I may have asked for the phone number for spit on a pig. Well heck that explains that.

I had already bought a limbo pole, little umbrellas for our drinks and arranged for the local home improvement store to haul in 15 tons of sand. At first the person that helped me with the order thought it might be a bit much, but I told her it can get windy here in the afternoons. She mumbled something about how she really didn’t care and kept using the phrase ‘we’re on commission.’ Oh well, at 10AM tomorrow they are delivering me my sand. Lastly, I made a bunch of volleyballs with faces on them like in ‘Castaway’ and copied down all the words to Elvis’ movie song ‘Do The Clam.’ This was going to be one gnarly beach bash, dude. Again, I probably just over did it with my ‘cool’ phrasing…sorry.

Confident in the presentation I had just made to my boss, I bowed, waited for him and my coworkers to applaud (which those ingrates never did) and took my seat. I could tell that my boss was extremely impressed with my efforts by the way he kept starting to say something and then stopped himself as if he needed to regain composure. Finally, he said ‘hell no, it’s our busiest time of year and Michael already used most of our petty cash budget last week for the ice cream he walked two miles for in 100 degree weather that all melted before he got back.’ He also added that he wished I would put that type of effort into my everyday responsibilities, but I’m pretty sure…kinda sure…all right, assuming, he was kidding. We were all asked to get back to work, so being the professional I am, I sat back down in my office and sang ‘Summertime Blues’ as loudly as I could. Yep, you guessed it, another 11am meeting at HR again. I volunteered to bring the donuts this time.

So, Happy Start of Summer to you, if you get to celebrate that sort of thing…

52 comments:

Heart Of Darkness said...

a) You're stealing ideas from me, naming posts after song titles. 'm either furious, or flattered. Haven't decided yet...

b) "Do it again" - I'm thinking Sugar Ray! ;D

c) Midsummer is rainy. But then again, what did we expect? We live at the freaking endge of the earth... *sigh*

Happy, warm summer to you, So Cal Mike! ;)

Michael C said...

Heart: Go with flattered and I know the Sugar Ray song too, it's different though. Happy Midsummer!

Heart Of Darkness said...

I still prefer Sugar Ray...

Michael C said...

Heart: Sugar Ray are good...but try my Boys. They've been around for 40+ years, so something's right with 'em
;-)

Heart Of Darkness said...

Okay, it's not so much Sugar Ray as it is Mark McGrath... the 60+ Beach Boys don't do it for me. :D

captain corky said...

Doesn't Stealy Dan sing "Do It Again"?

Too bad your party isn't a go. I was going to crash it and bring Gidget as my date.

Heart Of Darkness said...

If you're serious, I know a guy that could roast the pig for you...

Crashdummie said...

Sowwie to break the news Michael, but your boss sounds like a first class moron! But then again, you might just be way before your time and will be probably misunderstood all through your life… Maybe, just maybe, they’d understand the greatness with your nostalgic Hawaiian theme when they read about us in the future.

Michael C said...

Heart: I guess The Beach Boys can't compete with that! You know a pig roaster? Perfect!

Corky: Gidget, wait are you mocking me? ;-)

Crash: I actually think I'm way behind my time...

Heart Of Darkness said...

If you bring the incinerator and the pig, he'll roast it for you.
He's good with roasting nuts too... :D

Michael C said...

Heart: The incinerator and the pig? That sounds to me like he's making easy money ;-)

Roasting nuts make me nervous...

AndreAnna said...

I had a full blown luau last summer for my daughter's dedication ceremony. 90 people and a pig on a spit, and guess what happened? A mofo hurricane. Luckily, I had rented tents and such but, wet pig is no fun! :(

Michael C said...

AndreAnna: You should have wrapped the pigs in blankets. Get it? Oh never mind, it's too early for lame jokes ;-)

Heart Of Darkness said...

Peanuts, cashews, chestnuts... don't be so selfcentered, Mikey!

Michael C said...

Heart: Oh, I know. I just get nervous about burning my fingers...although I have yet to try chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Nat King Cole would be so disappointed in me! Mikey, huh??

Patti said...

I love the Beach Boys, as you may remember from the Carnival...

I am confused. Isn't it always like summer where you live?

Patti said...

you two are making me nervous..such intimacy in the comments section

Michael C said...

Patti: Yes, a lot of the year. It's just that during summer, we don't complain about it ;-)

Sorry Patti, I'm just an immature little kid sometimes ;-)

Patti said...

I was kidding, Michael!
No need to apologize

Re: summer. Thanks for explaining the difference.

Michael C said...

Patti: Kidding, what's that?
There may be a 5 degree difference sometimes between Spring and Summer, but who can tell ;-)

Patti said...

P.S. I just commented on your post from yesterday this morning.
I am a day behind in my reading because I was bizzy yesterday.
;-)

Happy Summer this afternoon

Michael C said...

Patti: Happy summer to you, too!

Heart Of Darkness said...

Would Mickey do better? Mick? Michelle? ;)

Yeah, I think I'll stick with Mikey!

Michael C said...

Heart: Well, it IS better than Michelle ;-)

kat said...

Three cheers for summer! Shit yeah!!!!

Why is your boss so oppressive? Your party sounds like a riot!

Michael C said...

Kat: Maybe I should be working or something when I'm at work. Although one day, I will get the name of work changed to play...
;-)

Patti said...

If you were a dog, work is play.
I said If.

Mike sounds more manly.

brandy said...

I'm sorry, this might be awkward but again I see this as an excuse to get fired so you can live your life as a pool boy. MC, why don't you just quit and follow your heart? Besides, everyone knows roasted pigs are so over. Everyone is roasting smaller, feathered animals now- like duck and pigeon. Haven't you been reading your Martha Stewart Living magazine?

Michael C said...

Patti: My mom always told me that she named me Michael, so my Catholic guilt won't let me answer to Mike ;-)

Brandy: I should follow be heart, my heart consumes most of my life now anyway with its fibrillocity and all. That's great advice! You know, I missed my recent copy of Martha Stewart Living, I think my neighbor stole than we he stole my Vanity Fair ;-)

Odat said...

Happy summer!!!! (I'm not really a fan unless I can lay on the beach all day!)
Peace

Ralph said...

Ah, Summertime Blues by Eddie Cochran, I heard this on the way to work this morning ("I'd like to help you son, but you're too young to vote"). Sounds like your Beach Boys song should be I Get Around...is your beach sand at work soft Pacific Ocean sand, or the rough Inland Empire desert sand?

brandy said...

Your neighbours sounds like a jerk. I think he/she should be the new victim of your pranks, and let the Female Co-worker rest for a moment, until you lull her into a sense of safety and then you know, you will get her again.

Jenny! said...

I get Beach Boy boners! Every summer I would go to at least one of their concerts! Great great fun...are you any good at the limbo pole???

Michael C said...

Odat: Happy Summer to you...you should head to Tahiti ;-)

Ralph: It's a wonderful blend of I.E. Sand and Newport Beach sand. Wow, that's the first time another blogger has used 'Inland Empire.' ;-)

Brandy: Well, I have been training my dog to dig a hole under their fence. Completion thus far: 47%.

Jenny!: I was a regular Beach Boy concert attendee until Carl Wilson died and they all started fighting and formed like 13 different Beach Boys bands! I am not, nor will I ever be a good limbo-er-er...
;-)

FRIGGA said...

My supervisor has had the Sublime song "Summertime" stuck in his head for longer than I've worked here. On a daily basis he sings it, but only the one word "Summertime" to the tune. Everytime he does, I finish singing the song in my head. This has been 3+ years now.

At least it's not "Can't Touch This!" :)

Happy 1st day of Summer!

Michael C said...

Frigga: I actually spent last night dancing with Lucy and Ethel to 'Can't Touch This.' Have you ever seen two 4 year olds try and bust a move and sing things like 'It's Hammer Time' and 'Break it down.'
;-)

Patti said...

you do know how to have fun, Michael!
Careful busting a move, though.

Natalie said...

i was with you until the sand part. I don't know how but sand manages to get EVERYWHERE and I don't like it very much.

FRIGGA said...

Hey, I wanted to tell you, you won My Contest. My Contest (but ssshhhh, there was only 1 loser) :)

Michael C said...

Patti: Yeah, busting hurts...
;-)

Natalie: It does take some getting used to, especially the chaffing ;-)

Frigga: I thought it was taken down there somewhere. Woo Hoo!

Becky L said...

great story! loved it!!

Michael C said...

Becky: Thanks ;-)

Jenny! said...

I was in love with John Stamos (from Full House)...not comments...I was young...and he was hot! I got to see him when he toured with the BB...so f'ing fantastic...I am such a dork!

Michael C said...

Jenny!: If that makes you a dork, then I am a super dork. I saw John Stamos with them at least twice and actually have the 1992 BB CD where he sings the Dennis Wilson song "Forever." I also got to see them once down in Orange County when Carnie and Wendy Wilson introduced the band before they came on stage. Brian didn't play with them though.

They play out here next month, but The Beach Boys is now only two of them. I still might go...see I'm a Super Dork!!!!

That's OK, I was in love with Lori Laughlin who played his wife ;-)

Jenny! said...

They did make a very cute couple!

Michael C said...

Jenny!: They most certainly did! I did watch that show when I was growing up. I know I've said this before, but I secretly hope that they'll do a movie version of Full House while my Lucy and Ethel are still young enough to share the role of Michelle Tanner
;-)

brandy said...

I've recently noticed that I like to be the last person to comment on my own blog. Do you ever feel that?

Michael C said...

Brandy: Yes, I do feel like that. Will I ruin it for you if I go now and leave a comment on yours??

Of course you may retaliate and leave one back here on mine.

It's a vicious, vicious cycle I tell ya...

brandy said...

I agree, completely vicious. And once you know someone doesn't like to NOT be the last one to comment on their own blog, it's nearly impossible to stop from trying to be the last one. I can see this not turning out well for either of us.

Michael C said...

Brandy, why whatever do you mean? Never mind....don't tell me. At least not in my comments section. I've declared this comment closed ;-)

Just telling it like it is said...

Thanks for reminding me that I need to work out my butt...summer has arrived!

Michael C said...

Just Telling: You are welcome, or I am sorry. I don't know which one applies ;-)