Thursday, June 07, 2007

It’s Pulled Pork Time In Georgia!

Well, today was a heck of a day. Perhaps it was the fact that I was with 100 four-year-olds and their parents all day. Maybe it was the fact that I have to be with 300 parents and their 3-5 year-olds at a park all day tomorrow. Possibly it could be the fact that during the first graduation ceremony at the twins' preschool today, the only one of the 50 little graduates that had a breakdown was my oldest twin. Or maybe it's just because during the second ceremony only one preschooler experienced a meltdown and you guessed it, it was my youngest twin. Yep out of 100 children total who graduated, sang, danced and stood in front of their families today, mine were the only two that had to be removed from the stage because of crying fits. Let's put it this way, Lucy and Ethel's new bounce house takes less than 60 seconds to inflate and I didn't have enough patience or energy to wait that long. Where is all of this going? I'm reposting tonight. I promise I'll try to be original tomorrow. I wrote this story at the beginning of this past January, before the most recent huge hog was killed.

A Georgia resident recently shot an 1100-pound wild hog says the Associated Press. The man shot the animal when he spotted it in a neighbor’s yard. After shooting the hog, he took it to a weight station to see just how big it was. This guy is just like me. Whenever I kill something, my first reaction is to drag it to the closest scale. Unfortunately, flies, mosquitoes and moths don’t weigh that much so the thrill is kind of lacking. Although it’s still not determined whether this hog is the biggest ever found in Georgia, it does weigh a few hundred pounds more than the famous ‘Hogzilla’ that was killed a few years ago. I guess that makes this pig Mothra-hog?

It is now hanging from a tree in the man’s front yard, which is a good thing since houses always seem to look so bare after all the Christmas lights and decorations are taken down. The fact that it’s a dead obese animal and will probably start to have a horrible stench within the next few days is completely irrelevant, of course. I can’t think of a better way to keep those pesky neighborhood kids from running through your lawn than a dead feral pig swaying from a tree.

There is apparently no confirmation yet as to whether or not the hunter will have the hog stuffed and displayed as a trophy. Regardless, taxidermists from Georgia to Florida are probably clearing their calendars for the next week. I imagine that the National Enquirer is already stopping the presses (do they still do that) and readying a story about how the first flying pig has been found after it died in-flight and plunged to the ground. I can see the headline now: “Captured Flying Pig Prompts Scientists to Search For Cows In Lunar Orbit.” Sorry, that was the best I could do. It’s late and the power has gone out here three times tonight due to the wind…

I wonder how feral pork (another great name for a rock band, perhaps) tastes. It’s a good bet that there are a few BBQ joints that wouldn’t mind finding out. You know, I spent most of New Year’s Eve cutting back the peach tree in my backyard so that I could start smoking pork and beef with delicious peach wood. Hey, I’ve got an idea; maybe I could sell the BBQ joints some of my dried peach wood. What did you think I was going to say? After all, I wouldn’t want to take a chance on wild hog meat. Besides, imagine the shipping costs…

18 comments:

Just telling it like it is said...

Some how i am having flash backs of childhood with the hogs and all..or maybe it was just that I grew up in Arkansas and I read charlette's web... either way I am not eating pork ever again...hanging in the front yard...do you even know the bacteria...oh wait a minute...I am obessed just look over me..

Michael C said...

Ewww dead hog bacteria? Now I may not ever be able to eat pork again ;-)

Just telling it like it is said...

I was think more like bacon...but okay we can go the hot dog route

Michael C said...

Just Telling: I actually love both of those meats. I can handle the truth about bacon, but I'll keep hot dogs a mystery...I figure as long as I grill them, the temperature gets hot enough to make it safe ;-)

captain corky said...

"Unfortunately, flies, mosquitoes and moths don’t weigh that much so the thrill is kind of lacking".

Great line.

Patti said...

I'm with the Captain. I loved that line too...

As for the graduation, I can't wait to hear more about it when you have the energy.

P.S. Buy all-beef franks.

AndreAnna said...

I would imagine that the pork wouldn't be the good, considering the large amount of fat the animal had. Then again, maybe that would have made him yummier.

Odat said...

I love pork...but wouldn't try a "ferral" one....altho "ferral pork" sounds rather sophisticated...I can hear the waiter saying..."the ferral pork tonite is very tender"....

And damn...what happened to Lucy and Ethel...were you making faces at them???????

Peace

Odat said...

I love pork...but wouldn't try a "ferral" one....altho "ferral pork" sounds rather sophisticated...I can hear the waiter saying..."the ferral pork tonite is very tender"....

And damn...what happened to Lucy and Ethel...were you making faces at them???????

Peace

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

sigh... sorry but i am IN georgia and i actually KNOW about pork thingys. you can't eat the meat from a (male) pig that has not been castrated as a piglet because it tastes "strong"! (can you STAND it SO far? haha) so unless this pig is a female no georgian would consider eating it anyway. but not the taxidermists, that is quite another story. bubba is alive and well in these hills honey, believe you me!!!

smiles, bee

The Rock Chick said...

Awww, why did Lucy and Ethel have a breakdown? Graduations can be kind of sad. My daughter was crying like crazy at her 8th grade graduation on Sunday.

I'm not a hunter, but I am wondering why anyone would hang an 1100 pound hog from a tree in their front yard? Is it a "look what I've got" thing? It seems rather nasty.

Jessica The Rock Chick

Michael C said...

Captain: Yeah, I don't get much points for bug killing.

Patti: I may not have the energy for a long, long time ;-) I always buy all beef franks. The other stuff scares me.

AndreAnna: I'm guessing the fat may have made it tastier. Mmmmmmm, pig faaaaat.

Odat: I'm with you. I can just see some fancy restaurant charging 20 bucks per pound for feral pork.

Empress: The idea of a male pig's strong meat is freaking me out...I think I threw up a little in my mouth just now.

Rock Chick: It probably didn't help that we were in the front row with two cameras and a video camera. I was trying to make funny faces, but I guess I failed ;-)

Patti said...

How are Lucy and Ethel faring today?

Jenny! said...

That started out as a post about your twin girls graduation and ended with the ferel meat hanging in a tree! So weird man!

Michael C said...

Patti: We're at a whine factor of 3 out of 5.

Jenny!: What can I tell ya, little kids start to mess with your mind after a while ;-)

Erica AP said...

My dad had a hobby of raising a cow every couple of years for meat and they would have to shoot it and then hang it upside down to drain the blood. One horrific memory of mine is when I was a bit older and didn't use my jungle gym anymore so they hung the freaking cow from it!! Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck....

FRIGGA said...

I'm pretty curious, what kind of tantrum did they throw that caused you to feel the need to repost. And to repost about the giant ferrel male pig. Wow! And Gross!

Hehe, happy Friday! :)

Patti said...

Maybe they can bounce their way out of whining.
Just a suggestion.