Wednesday, June 27, 2007

I Don’t Care What’s In ‘Em, I Just Care That They Taste Good!

The stars are starting to align and life is good. My one-year blogiversary is finally tomorrow and the competitive food eating circuit may about be back to normal, but more about that in a minute. To think, one year ago right now, I sat at my computer blissfully unaware of the horrible blogging addiction that would begin the following day. Ahhh, simpler times, simpler times…

It’s almost the 4th of July where we will take to the streets, BBQs and illegal fireworks stands to celebrate out nation’s birthday. It’ll also be the day when Nathan’s Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest is held. When ESPN airs the food contest and the guy that once called the Indy 500 for ABC is the announcer, you know the contest must be big! Unless the announcer did something really wrong and has been exiled to the dung heap of sports announcing – food contests. Watching the competitors cram hot dogs and buns into their mouths at a furious pace is part of the holiday celebration for me. As is me getting violently ill while making my annual promise that I will never eat hog dogs again.

The 2005 contest was a particular favorite of mine. It was just a few days after my surgery and I sat cooped up in my hospital room with my two older but wiser roommates on one of my favorite holidays of the year. As we watched the hot dogs being devoured, we commented how disgusting it all really was and I stated that if the hospital tried to serve us hot dogs in honor of the 4th, I would revolt by pulling out my IV and my equally battered roommates declared their support, even though I think one of them was asleep while doing so.


Move two hours forward when my caring friends showed up from 100 miles away with a box of homemade grilled hot dogs. It was a very touching gesture with very bad timing. My roommates snickered and politely declined to take one as I very slowly tried to eat my hot dog without gagging while I worked on getting the horrific display of hot dog contests out of my mind. Japanese contestant Takeru Kobayashi won his second straight contest that year and won it again last year. He successfully came to American soil and beat us at what we are best at – gluttony. The big-bellied American challengers could only shake their heads in shame.

Well, that’s all going to change this year. Kobayashi came out yesterday and said that he’s been injured. He is suffering from an arthritic jaw (I bet that’s fun to try and watch him speak when the arthritis in his jaw flares up) and while he is seeking treatment, has said he may not be able to compete. This is only a few weeks after perennial American challenger Joey Chestnut shattered Kobayashi’s hot dog eating record in one of Coney Island’s qualifying events. While Kobayashi is shorter and small framed, Chestnut is everything you would expect to find in a food-eating contestant. He’s big and well, large. This is the type of guy that should win a contest where the only requirement is to eat as much as possible before time expires. I’d personally try to compete so I could capture the championship for America, but I’ve become pretty anti-vomit over the years…

Maybe I’m just cynical, but I think Kobayashi is using his arthritic jaw to grease the way for his loss. When we Americans finally take back the 4th of July Hot Dog Eating Contest title next week, he’ll be able to say he was too injured and therefore could not properly compete. It’s not the honorable thing to try to do, but it is good strategy. After all, I should know. I do the same thing every morning when I get to work. I tell everyone I didn’t sleep well or I don’t feel well and then watch their expectations of me drop. Well played Mr. Kobayashi, well played indeed.

25 comments:

Just telling it like it is said...

Well congrads on the one year in blog land...got me to thinking...I know I don't usually think..but I have been in blog land for a year too and what a year it has been...my one true addiction that I can admit too!!
I find myself thinking of things to write, writting on napkins at the airport or while dinning...I am obsessed I tell you...but you know what..I am okay with this addiction, I have met some wonderful and likeminded people...
Okay...now I am going soft again...I think I must be jet lagged...Hot dogs...I have only seen that contest once...and I have to say I think I vomited a little in my mouth...
Cheers!! and I'll be sure to drink a beer to ya!!! maybe even spill some out for my homies...tehhhee

Ralph said...

Why not beat the furriners at their own cuisine? Surely an american can eat 50 pieces of tuna sashimi coated in Wasabi Paste? The big-bellied American challengers should win this one...I like my dogs grilled so the casing is charred black...Bet you can't eat just one!

Michael C said...

Just Telling: You pretty much summed up my blogging addiction, too!! What is so addictive about it? Maybe I'll have a hot dog to celebrate tomorrow...or 27 of them ;-)

Michael C said...

Ralph: grilled and charred? I'll take as many as you can grill up!!

Odat said...

I hate to admit this but I love hotdogs! I've even thought about entering the contest. Ha.
I'm getting ready to celebrate with ya tomorrow...I'm afraid I won't be able to sleep tonite...!!
;-)
Peace

Michael C said...

Odat: Hmmm, something tells me I won't sleep tonight, either! Yes, enter the contest and let me be your towel boy!! No wait, that sounds like a pretty demeaning position ;-)

FRIGGA said...

"even though I think one of them was asleep while doing so." Good stuff Michael!
I watched the contest in '05 too, but ya, it's just gross.

Oh, and I've now completely justified my Schrute Apple & think you'll be quite proud of my Office knowledgeability!

mist1 said...

I want to enter the condiment eating contest. I like the stuff that goes on hot dogs better than hot dogs. I can seriously put away some relish.

AndreAnna said...

I only like the really big expensive gourmet hot dogs that you get at a butcher. Ok, I lie. I like all hot dogs, but those aremy favorite, 70 grams of fat and all!

Isn't there some tiny Japanese woman that wins all these eating competitions?

Michael C said...

Frigga: Thanks! It is pretty disgusting stuff ;-)I knew The Office would grow on ya!

Mist: Relish is by far the classiest of the condiments...like the condiment King, I guess.

AndreAnna: As long as they aren't full of processed chicken parts (I hate chicken franks), I'll happily eat it. Yes the tiny woman competes every year...it defies science ;-)

Abigail S said...

Gosh, I love hot dogs! Don't know why, but I do.

Happy blogiversary! Enjoy!

brandy said...

On the eve of your one year blogiversary (am I spelling that wrong, it looks wrong...) I just want to say- keep up the good work annnnnnnd the best hotdog I ever had was one I had in France. Sold to me by a woman with no teeth. (Seriously, this maybe should have been a deterrent for me, but it wasn't. Not at all.) This hotdog was followed closely by the Costco hotdog. Which, you can have at any Costco store. Which makes them even more great.

Heart Of Darkness said...

I'm sorry, but the guy to the left in that picture seems to be enjoying his hotdog a little too much...




...or is it just me?

Michael C said...

Abigail: They are quick, convenient and contain mystery meat...what's not to like?? ;-)

Brandy: Costco was doing something right when they made their hot dogs! Cheap and delicious. I think that phrase is on my family's coat of arms ;-)

Heart: I was thinking that hot dogs 14-27 were on their way back up...but maybe that's just me ;-)

Heart Of Darkness said...

Yeah, it's just you.

Michael C said...

Heart: Thanks for the support!!!

Heart Of Darkness said...

De nada - that's what I'm here for...

Michael C said...

Heart: Now with the Spanish, too??

Heart Of Darkness said...

What language do you prefer? You've got plenty to choose from... ;)

Michael C said...

Heart: Well, not to be a selfish American, but I only speak one...
;-)

Heart Of Darkness said...

There's a joke:

if you speak three languages, you're trilingual
if you speak two languages, you're bilingual
if you speak only one language, you're American


Don't hurt me, I'm only the messenger!

Patti said...

I'm here a day late catching up on my reading.

Michael, today Ralph bought Johnsonville Brats to cook on the grill.
Sound good?

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

Ugh, just thinking of the contest seriously makes me feel ill.

kat said...

The promo I am working is going tobe at the Nathan's Coney Island contest that you speak of so I will be able to see these feeders first hand! Would you like me to email you pictures?

Michael C said...

Kat: YES PLEASE!!!
;-)