Saturday, August 26, 2006

Warning: Watching the Food Network Can Be Hazardous To Your Health

I don’t know if you’ve discovered it yet as I have, but the Food Network is great TV. Not only does it have plenty of traditional cooking shows, there are programs about the history of foods, profiles on restaurants and pretty much anything related to food or the food industry. They even air cooking competitions, which surprisingly don’t end in food fights.

But I’m not writing this to praise the Food Network. I am writing this because the Food Network has proven detrimental to my health. There should be a surgeon general’s warning that appears prior to every Food Network program. How you can sit and watch an hour-long show about North Carolina BBQ or Maine Lobster and not want to pig out is beyond me. Actually, I dare you to try it.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve got in your house to eat, if you eat it while the Food Network is on, it tastes even better. Through the evil magic of the Food Network, they can make plain rice cakes taste like gourmet pizza, provided that’s what you are watching. All you’ve got for breakfast is oatmeal? Not to worry, the Food Network is airing a special on wedding cakes. MMMM, that sounds good, doesn’t it?

Although I’m complaining about it, I won’t stop watching. I’ve become addicted to it. Back in the days of black and white TVs and only five or so stations to tune in, no one could have imagined watching a sixty-minute documentary on hot dogs. Back then, no one could have imagined anyone even producing a television program about them. A lot has changed and the Food Network proves that people will watch anything on TV.

So let’s summarize, folks can now stay at home all day watching the Food Network while snacking. And we wonder why America’s obesity problem is expanding along with our waistlines? Thanks a lot Food Network! Now, what’s for dinner? OOOO, I see the Food Network is doing a show about fried foods…



Though if watching Food Network can make any food taste better, then perhaps the Food Network diet could work. You only get to eat spinach and tofu, but you watch the Food Network while eating and all of a sudden that seems like a really yummy meal.

Michael C said...

I think you are on to something there. The Food Network's "Eat really bad tasting low calorie food while pretending it tastes much better than it actually is" diet.

Or something like that.

Odat said...

ohhh that's why i don't watch.....geeze, between the food and the beer...I'd be going to all sorts of 12 step programs....lmaooooo good post..

p.s. where'd ya get that sign????


Michael C said...

I didn't think about back to back posts on beer and food. Yeah, that could get dangerous.

The sign was a little combination of 2 signs. Ahhh, Photoshop ;-)

meloncutter said...

I find myself watching the food network frequently. I watch Emeril quite a bit. Believe it or not, They will come up with wild ass recipie for something that calls for a weird vegetable or fresh spice, I will order it for my store and put it on display. Within a couple of days, someone will come in looking for that item because they are trying that recipie.

Usually it is an old biddy that is looking and it saves me or some other poor clerk a vivid display of the biddy bags if I have the crap on hand.

I may have to call the Union, Maybe I should get paid for watching the shows as I do it for work related reasons. Dang.

Good Post.

Later Yall....

ChiefMommy Owl said...

I don't watch TV, but I watched the Food Network down at my parents quite a bit.

You forgot to mention the side effect of walking around your house, spontaneously shouting, "IRON CHEF!!!!"

P.S. Security word - nofpusf. Now that's just filthy.