Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Strange Happenings Down On The Farm

I don’t know what British farmers eat or drink to be merry, but it seems like they’ve all gone a little ‘hay’ wire. After hearing about the following story, I’m thinking there may be some foreign farmers out there with a little too much time on their hands.

A report out of London stated that an English farmer has noticed that cows have accents that are varied by region. He is very close to his cows and noticed recently that they moo similarly to his own accent. This farmer has spoken with other cow owners who have noticed the same phenomenon. The belief among these farmers is that the more time they spend with their cows; the easier it is for the cows to learn their accents.

This of course begs the questions of how much time these guys are really spending with their herds and what all are they saying to them. Do they roam the fields with their livestock as they graze upon acres and acres? Are they speaking about philosophy, telling jokes or reciting bible verses to them? For cows to get familiar enough with their owner’s dialect to be able mimic it in their mooing, the farmers must be saying more than “come here” or “go there.” Do they serenade their heifers? Do we really want to know?

Whatever the disturbing answers to those questions are, it’s obvious that some English farmers are more than just owners to their livestock. It’s nice to think that they pass away the time with their herds talking to them and no doubt sharing their innermost thoughts. Provided you could tell the difference, it would be fun to hear cows moo in their different accents.

I wonder if the same thing is true here in the US. I don’t want to milk this, but if it is, it means we get our milk and beef from surfer cows (like, uh, Pauly Shore), New England cows (like the Kennedys), Deep South cows (like the Food Network’s Paula Dean), Cajun cows (like Dr. John), Wisconsin cows (I need a little help with this one) and Texas drawl cows (like Sam Elliot when he tells us that beef is what’s for dinner).

You know, a long time ago I was walking past a field of grazing cattle here in Southern California and could have sworn their calls and moos sounded a lot like “What’s up, dude?” I always just thought it was the wind, but now I’m not so sure…

9 comments:

meloncutter said...

Moooooo moo moo mumumumumu moooooooooooooooo, moo momomooooo.
Moooo Mooo moo moo moomoo moooooo?

Moo moooo moooo moooo maaaaaaaw moooooo moo moooo momoooooomooo.

Mooo moooo mooomooo (mooo moo mooo)
mooo mooo mooo moooo mooo moooooo!

Moooo Moooo.......


WV was Yeeyq. What my wife says when she catches me peeing in the shower.

MOO MOOO

Odat said...

LOL...I saw this story too.....and thought you would be doing something on it...glad ya did...I also heard it wasn't just the cows...the birds too!!! Let's hear ya cockadoodle do with a southern drawl................

Peace

Michael C said...

Melon: You're freakin' me out -- you seem to speak their language, I think. I'm not too certain on your dialect ;-)

Odat: I read the part about the birds, too. But I couldn't get past picturing Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room being done with other accents. Southern drawl and New Englander would be pretty interesting, don't ya think?

monicker said...

Ever notice that in those "Happy cows come from CA" commercials that the cows have Minnesotan accents?

Lizza said...

LOL! Different cows with different accents. I echo Odat's sentiments. If that's true of bovines, then what about the other critters that many of us spend more time with? Dogs, cats, goldfish?

ShadowFalcon said...

I was in Dorset (its in the south of England) on a school trip and we 'accidently' wandered into a field for a short cut and I swear the farmer nearly scared the life out of us, but none of us could understand what the hell he was saying. We just ran before he ate us or something. Maybe cows have been speaking english the whole time they just learned from crazy people.

mist1 said...

I'm sorry...I'm new here, so maybe you need me to point out the obvious.

Farmers milk cows. That means they have to touch their ginormous cow nipples. That makes them very close. Of course they can recognize mooing inflections.

I don't let anyone touch my nipples (not that ginormous) without talking to me first (and probably buying me dinner/drinks)

Michael C said...

Mist,
I have to admit I never thought of the cow/farmer relationship that way until now. And you can be sure I won't forget it!

the teatotaller said...

The cows of HMS Royal Teat Refectory Service are known to exclaim, "I say there, a bit of the old moo, eh chap?" Royal feckers.