Thursday, August 24, 2006

No Planet For You!!

There has been a lot of blog space devoted to this topic in the last few weeks, but it’s now official. Pluto is a planet no more. A group of scientists at the International Astronomical Union in Prague voted to reclassify the celestial object as a dwarf planet. The term dwarf was decided on after “not good enough to be a planet” was rejected. There has already been outrage that such a small body of scientists voted on Pluto’s fate. I guess that’s what those scientists get for leaving the symposium early.  But it's fitting that such a small group voted about a small planet.  I wonder if they used those short pencils to vote...

Pluto is now scheduled for demolition next Thursday to make room for a bigger, glitzier and more luxurious planet named Harrah’s of the Milkyway. Oh, wait, sorry I was looking at a brochure for Vegas. Because Pluto shares its orbit with other space objects and has not cleared the space around it (to be scientific), it no longer meets planet criteria. The approval of the new criteria also means that Pluto’s moon Charon (isn't that an 80s song?) is no longer eligible for planethood. It will be promoted from moon to dwarf planet, if that’s a promotion. I guess it's now Pluto and the seven dwarfs (or however many moons are now classified as dwarfs or dwarves or whatever).

When asked how this will affect future exploratory missions or satellites to Pluto, NASA officials replied, “We really don’t care, we’re most certainly not going to spend millions of dollars to explore a rock.” “We did that 30 years ago, it was called the moon.”

Educational materials around the country will be updated as soon as possible. Graphic artists will airbrush Pluto out of all maps, textbooks, charts and guides. The scientific community is concerned about how Pluto, smaller than the size of the United States, will cope with the stigma of being a “former” planet. Concern has also been expressed about how it will feel to be a dwarf planet among the eight other “normal planets.”

To deal with Pluto’s new planet envy, astronomers expect within the next few years that dwarf planets will again be reclassified to a more politically correct term. At this time, the leading reclassification term is “planetcita.”

12 comments:

Odat said...

Hey! I can't wait for the "pluto tossing" contests to begin..

Michael C said...

Yeah, I bet the astronomers will have a field day protesting that one ;-)

meloncutter said...

Well, You shot my blog for tomorrow in the ass. LOL. I guess now the end of the solar system is Uranus. I bet there are loads of scientists that would like to explore Uranus. I, myself have no desire to see Uranus. They might be able to someday collect some rocks from Uranus but I would bet there is some weird life Inside Uranus.

I guess thats enough of the Uranus Jokes. Just had to do that.

Glad it's Uranus and not My anus that everyone will be making fun of.

(ok that was a cheap shot, but had to take it anyway.)
Good Post.

later Yall

Michael C said...

Melon,
That was BY FAR the funniest thing I have ever read. It feel so anal (so to speak) for not thinking of it!!!!

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

With this happening to Pluto, surely Goofy and Mickey should be circulating their resumes. Probably lots of jobs for them in Uranus! I slay me! Is this mike workin'? I'll be here Thursday, Friday, Saturday, thank you, thank you very much.

Michael C said...

Pawlie -
You forgot to add: don't forget to tip your waitresses ;-)

Will all new dwarf planets be named after Disney characters? The moons Chip and Dale have me a little worried...

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

Yeah, I wince when I go to Chippendale's, too. Why do i go? to meet old chicks? (Actually does Chippendales even exist anymore? It sounds so 90s!) Hey MC, not to be confused with MelonCutter MC, how do you get such great graphics? Do you have 19 years to take to show me? Is it all public domain? And are you getting nervous that your Dodgers peaked too early, as I surely jinxed my team in writing that.)

jbwritergirl said...

I HAVE A POST FOR THIS ALTHOUGH NOT COMPLETED.

IT'S A SHAME FOR KIDS ESPECIALLY THAT PLUTO HAS BEEN OBLITERATED. NOW ALL WE CAN LOOK FORWARD TO IS A CHANGE OF TEXT BOOKS. BAH HUMBUG!

ShadowFalcon said...

Shame about Pluto and Charon ...I'm more upset about them not "offically" keeping and name Xena (and Gabrielle for it moon) for 2003 UB313.

Lizza said...

LOL LOL LOL! (I know that sounds idiotic, but what the hey)

I've been seeing different takes on the demotion of Pluto, and I get a good laugh out of all of them. Poor Pluto. It's small, cold, far from the center of action...and now it's being told it's a pretender.

I like your blog, Michael. Be warned...I'll be back. :-)

Michael C said...

Lizza, feel free to stop by any time you'd like!

Shadow: I'd hate to have a name like UB313-- at least name me UB40, they could groove!!

p.s. since we've all been tracking it, my word verification today was sydsm. It's a horribly afflicting disease I hope I never get, isn't it??

monicker said...

Dwarf planets? I don't want to offend any non-planetary bodies; I'll refer to Pluto as a "Little Planet" from now on.