Thursday, November 16, 2006

The Tie That Truly Binds (And Other Completely Useless Observations)

I’ve had many things on my mind lately and figured it’s time to start pondering some of them out loud. I figure that by doing so maybe I’ll get some answers or other insight into the oddities of our lives. Or, maybe they are just oddities as perceived by me. I guess we’ll see…

I’m ‘Tied’ To My Job
First things first, who the heck invented the necktie? It dangles down just waiting to be stapled inadvertently to something or stuck in the paper shredder. Even worse, a tie can be grabbed violently by your worst enemy and used to choke or hang you (but that’s pretty extreme, so we won’t focus on it here). Plus, wearing one is very uncomfortable. Maybe uncomfortability is part of the intention behind the invention. At the company I work for, we are required to wear ties. When you compare the typical tie-wearing day with a casual clothing day, the tie days are much more productive. Maybe American upper management is keenly aware that if we work uncomfortably, we’ll be more uptight and better focused on work than we will be on casual days. I guess it’s the same uncomfortable issue at work when we attend weddings or funerals. We are wearing tight ties and it reminds us that we are at a sacred and special ceremony. Granted, I don’t have to wear a bra or pantyhose everyday so I should probably keep my mouth shut because I can’t imagine that either one of those are too comfortable either.

Pharmacy Shmarmacy
Metal laced aspirin aside, when did prescribed medication potentially cause more problems than it’s supposed to fix? While watching Studio 60 (a show I really enjoy but that is way too serious about being funny) last night we saw a commercial for a prescription drug. At the end of the commercial and 30 seconds of different actors explaining the drug’s potential side affects, we realized the side affects so completely overshadowed the cure that we couldn’t remember what the drug treated in the first place!

Given the choice of a migraine or chronic diarrhea with the bends and acne eruptions equal to Mt. Vesuvius, I’ll happily take the few hour migraine. Hmmm, joint stiffness or medication induced blindness? I’ll take the joint stiffness. Heck, one of my heart medications actually listed breast growth/swelling as a side affect. While having larger breasts doesn’t do much for me personally (is my drug company conspiring with Man-bra manufacturers?) I’d be willing to sell doses to women who might appreciate the side affect more than I do, but then I’d get in trouble. I’m glad that pharmaceutical companies feel they have a responsibility to report all of the side affects that their medications cause, but I’ve got to believe with what some of those side affects are that their sales are plummeting.

EVOO? Yum-O!
Is it just me or did The Food Network’s Rachael Ray replace Oprah as the Queen of all Media overnight? There was once a time a few years ago where I thought she was a cute and perky on-air cooking personality (and made the mistake of telling my wife), but that was back in the day, like circa 2002. In the past two years or so her stock has apparently risen, a lot. Today there are Rachael Ray cookbooks, at least three Food Network series, a daytime talk show and a product line. Rachael is everywhere. I just saw her on a cardboard advertisement in the chip and dip aisle hawking something for Nabisco. I’ll admit though that there could be worse faces to be subject to 24-7, like Carl Malden perhaps.

However, it’s obvious she is slowly planning to overtake all known media outlets through her disarmingly perky catch phrases and her liberal use of EVOO. It was never more apparent to me than last night when I was flipping channels with my 4 year olds, Lucy and Ethel. Surprise, surprise, Rachael was on the Food Network and the twins yelled out “Daddy, it’s Rachael Ray!” I couldn’t believe it, but I guess when preschoolers can recognize you instantly, your media domination is nearly complete. As Rachael would say, “How good is That?” Well Rachael, it’s so delish. All hail (the apparent) Queen Rachael!

9 comments:

Odat said...

http://www.twilightbridge.com/hobbies/festivals/father/necktie.htm
Ok...here's your tie history...

Better yet...we may be overdo for some "tie-burning" demonstrations...

I hear some food has the same side effects, and yet they never tell you about it.

I like Rachael Ray..but....yeah, she's like all over the place now..and its beginning to get on my nerves....lol

Peace

Lizza said...

Gee, I like how your mind works in odd ways. ;-) Bras and pantyhose shouldn't be uncomfortable--if you forget that they're there, then they're comfy. I like the way ascots look better than plain old ties. Try wearing one to work, and laugh at the reactions.

FUJ said...

the key is to learn how to do a proper tie knot... then ties are all good...

but only for the right occassion... which brings to mind, who are those guys who wears a neck tie to freakin night clubs?.. those guys crack me up!

mist1 said...

I love that sexy loosen up the tie after work move that men do. I should date a man who wears a tie to work. Or goes to work for that matter.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

For a person who can't spell her own name, Rachael Ray has done well for herself.

Cindy Crawford started out as a beautiful 19-year old whose trademark mole and dark hair in a blue-eyed blond world quickly made her ubiquitous. Catherine Zeta Jones is doing it now.

Even the supremely gorgeous can be too much of a presence. It's like having someone sit on your chest and force-feed you wedding cake.

Michael C said...

Odat: That is a site I will have to try. A tie burning demonstration huh? How about we have a BBQ, throw our ties into after the meat is ready and call it a demonstration. Will that work?

Lizza: Sean Connery = Ascot
Me = bow tie that shoots water

FuJ: Thanks for stopping by. I have never properly executed a tie knot and would never wear a tie to a night club...but cargo shorts on the other hand...

Mist1: In our office we all ARRIVE to work with that tie loosen up thing. It's our way of dealing with the tie trauma.

HeartsinSanFran: I will just take your word about someone sitting on my chest and force feeding me wedding cake. I've never experienced that. Although, come to think of it, I have experienced having my chest cracked open and been forced to breath through a tube...that's got to be pretty close, right?
;-)

ShadowFalcon said...

I'd rather wear a bra then a tie. What I don't understand are women who willingly wear a tie, I mean for heaven sake why?

Who is Rachel Ray? Oprah still queen over here.

Awesome Mom said...

I think that Rachel Ray should have an animated kid's show. Then her world dominations would be truly complete.

PARLANCHEQ said...

A tie requirement? That's awful! Where I work we can do 'business casual' (basically anything that isn't jeans and a t-shirt) everyday. I am quite sure no work would get done if we had to dress up because we would be too busy complaining about it to work.