Things I Learned This Week: 11/25/06

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and always pathetic. I hope that at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 11/19/06-11/25/06.

! I learned that it’s a little awkward being the lone person laughing out loud in a movie theater with only ten other people in it.

! I learned that asking if I can watch the Clipper/Laker game during my mother-in-law’s birthday dinner isn’t the most prudent thing to do. Especially with Thanksgiving only two days away.

! I learned that being without the wife and kids for three straight days doesn’t make me a bachelor or mean that I’m on vacation. It means that I’ve got plenty of time to get the honey-dos done and no excuses not to.

! I learned that being the guy who volunteers to stay until closing at work on the day before Thanksgiving doesn’t make me a team player. It makes me an idiot.

! I learned that perhaps we take too many pictures of our twins when every time they just see a camera (whether it’s pointed at them or not) they look at it, pose, smile and say ‘cheese.’ I think Pavlov called that a ‘conditioned’ response?

! I learned that there is such a thing as too much turkey and stuffing but there can never be enough Cool-Whip or other whipped topping on the holiday table.

And lastly,

! I learned that I should have known when my wife called me while shopping after Christmas last year about replacing every other clear white bulb on our outdoor Christmas lights with a clear red one, that I would be the one responsible for switching them all out after Thanksgiving this year.