Sensing Sensory Overload in So Cal

Man, this has been a weird week in Southern California. Maybe all those smart guys and gals are right; global warming is real and it’s happening all around us. It was 90 degrees today, it’s the week of Thanksgiving and the 24/7 Christmas music has already started. I almost blew my mind right there just writing about it! The early start to Christmas isn’t so new, but it feels like summer, we are preparing for Christmas and the Thanksgiving turkey is about to be thawed, which won’t take so long this year if the temperatures hold up. I don’t think my brain can process all of this.

I guess it first started when we went to Disneyland last week. It was almost 90 degrees then and when we got there we discovered that they were already celebrating Christmas! It’s not that I dislike Christmas; it’s quite the opposite. I love the holiday season. That’s what you get for having a birthday on Christmas Eve, I guess. It is a little odd being on Disneyland’s Main Street U.S.A looking at what had to be a 60-foot tall Christmas tree while Christmas carols are being sung and you are sweating. Poor old Santa Claus must have sweat 20 pounds off that one day alone in his red suit with all those kids sitting on him. And I can tell you for sure that it doesn’t feel Christmassy taking a picture of your daughters with Mrs. Claus while she is sweating all over them. (Sorry for my overuse of the word sweat in this paragraph. Does anyone know a synonym for sweat?)

It was sensory overload indeed as you looked and saw Christmas all around you but felt like you should be at the beach celebrating the Fourth of July. Perhaps the weirdest Disneyland memory I’ll ever have will be baking in the sun sitting in the little ride boat during the short outside part of ‘It’s A Small World’ while all the children of the earth sang Jingle Bells in every language known to man (except of course for that clicking language, unfortunately it just doesn't translate well). At least Captain Jack Sparrow and The Pirates of the Caribbean were not singing ‘It’s A Marshmallow World.’

The local Los Angeles adult contemporary radio station began playing their annual 24/7 Christmas music on Friday, so that didn’t help things any. Again, the weather and the music just didn’t jive. The closest it gets is when they play ‘Little St. Nick’ by the Beach Boys. It’s great hearing the holiday music but it just does not feel like that time of year. Not that I expect it to snow around here or anything, but it was 70 degrees out when I woke up at 6am this morning. During some fall and winter days here that’s as hot as it gets, period.

Surf weather isn’t exactly the best time to hear Dean Martin sing ‘Winter Wonderland’ or Elton John sing ‘Step Into Christmas.’ It should be more like ‘Step Into A Parallel Universe Where It’s Christmas In July During Thanksgiving.’ That probably doesn’t work too well rhythmically though and the title is too long. What also doesn’t work is the radio station’s play list at times. I can’t think of any time or any place where it’s appropriate to follow Bing Crosby crooning a Christmas classic with Justin Timberlake trying to sing a 'new' Christmas song. Maybe someone dared the program director to do it…and lost.

In just three days it will be Turkey Day and the weather is supposed to be the same as it is now. I get kind of Norman Rockwellish (or Rockwelly, if you prefer) when I think of Thanksgiving. I picture fallen leaves, autumn colors and maybe a dusting of snow with everyone bundled up. We might have to forgo all of that this year. I’ll be wearing a nice shorts and Hawaiian shirt ensemble. It could be the first year, in my memory, where the air conditioning has to be run because the oven and all the cooking are making the kitchen so hot. The annual football game may have to be replaced by swimming pool basketball. Heck, it could be the start of a new tradition. We’ll call it the Turkey Swim. Never mind, it just occurred to me that if someone Googled ‘Turkey’ and the search result came back with ‘Turkey Swim,’ I’d have the great folks down at PETA all over my tail feathers.

It certainly is a weird time of year. The summer heat, Christmas music/décor and all of the Thanksgiving preparations are a very weird combination to process. In fact, I smell smoke. My first fear was that it was me trying to comprehend all of this, until I realized it was either the Yule log next door, smoked turkey across the street or the asphalt melting in the driveway. I have no idea how long this will go on or how long I’ll be able to take it. No matter what happens, I hope I can find an eggnog flavored snow cone to help me cope…


Nothing Worthwhile Pondering Of The Day: When did it become fashionable and chic to put a realtor’s picture on a house’s for sale sign? Did someone conduct research that showed a person might be more inclined to spend $800,000 on a house just because the realtor was blonde and semi-hot looking?