Saturday, November 11, 2006

Things I Learned This Week: 11/11/06

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and always pathetic. I hope that at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. As you'll be able to tell from this week's list, I hit a few speed bumps at work again. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 11/5/06-11/11/06.

! I learned that when my card is stamped by the time clock of life that I might be headed a little south of Heaven. And here’s why: at a quirky Italian restaurant with some friends the other night, I was walking towards our table when I stopped and noticed a huge picture of Frank Sinatra inside a sort of shrine to him. When I saw it, I immediately knelt down and genuflected. Oops. Pray for me by blogging brothers and sisters…

! I learned that if I want to be so bold as to suggest a fine eating establishment for our office’s Christmas party/dinner, I’d better be darn sure ready to take the lead and plan the whole thing. I guess that means both Hooters and McDonalds are out…

! I learned that when my female coworker says that her son’s boss keeps talking about how hot he thinks she is, I shouldn’t ask her “has he seen you,” when what I really mean is “has he met you or does he joke like that with all of his employees?” It would not have been so bad if she hadn’t told the entire office. Fifteen times!

! I learned that when I am talking to the same female coworker and I tell her that my family is having a Christmas open house, I should not say, “you might be invited” when what I mean to say is “if we can invite coworkers you will be invited.” Unfortunately this incident and the one above only happened about an hour apart so female coworker is a little bent with me.

! I learned that although I am filled with enough patriotic pride to hum “The Star Spangled Banner” while voting, that not everyone else is and they might not appreciate my ‘mood music’ as much as I do. Those communist fools!!

! I learned that when taking Lucy and Ethel to a birthday party at “The Bounce House” for their school friend that all of the other kids there may not appreciate me bouncing, going down the slide and swinging on the suspended rope inside the gigantic arctic themed bounce house as much as I appreciate it. Those communist fools!!

And lastly…

! I learned not to take it too personally when I show up at a gathering of good friends who I haven’t seen in a while and they see me and say, “Michael’s here. We’ve got to be careful what we talk about or it might end up on his blog.” Now really, does that sound like something I would do? Those communist fools!!

**Author’s Disclaimer – I do not think anyone mentioned above is either a communist or a fool. I just thought it sounded funny, especially when you pound your fist on the desk while saying it. Seriously, try it.

12 comments:

abbagirl74 said...

Tried it, and you have never been more right. It feels great!

Irene said...

I want to play in The Bounce House, too! Did you really genuflect at Frank Sinatra's shrine? Oh, but David Letterman will be jealous! :p

I always look forward to your lesssons learned. Happy weekend, Michael!

Odat said...

LOL...Nothing wrong with honoring your favorite singer....or playing in the bounce house...or insulting your co workers...i mean really....those communist fools!!!!

Odat said...

P.S. should I still be saying Hi to your boss? and telling him you need a raise? lmaoooo
Peace

mist1 said...

That last one is why I don't tell anyone about the blog. I want them to give me raw uncut material.

Josie said...

It sounds like you're really winning popularity polls all over the place.

Did you really genuflect to Sinatra? Well, I would have too. I saw him in person once, and I think I stopped breathing.

Cheers,
Josie

PARLANCHEQ said...

Actually I think Hooters sounds like just the place for an office holiday party. At least it would be memorable. ;)

Michael C said...

Abbagirl: See, i told you it was fun

Irene: Thanks for stoping by. Yes, I did really genuflect...my catholic guilt consumes me!

Odat: I knew you'd agree with me and (in a whisper) please do sa Hi to my boss and bring up the raise thing ;-)

Mist: Of course, it's easier for you when you lead such an exciting life!

Josie: You saw the Chairman of the Board? How cool!!! Maybe I just had too much lasagna in me, but I really did genuflect.

Parlancheq: I hear the make a great buffalo wing...

-Princess Shin- said...

Haha.. you really did kneal down at Frank Sinatra's shrine? =) Nice blog you have here..

Take care!

Violet said...

The friends of mine who know of my blog are more likely to ask hopefully whether what they say or do is going to end up on the blog. And the boyfriends always tells me to advertise his bedroom skills there too (just jokingly. I think.)

Dan said...

Dude, Frank is KING! Genuflecting is absolutely warranted! You should pray for your blogger friends who don't genuflect to Frank. Not the other way around!

Stop it! ;)

Lizza said...

At least you didn't find yourself walking on your knees to kiss Sinatra's picture. You didn't, did you?

Next lesson that Michael should learn: how to spot the commie fools from a mile away!