Thursday, September 21, 2006

This Space Debris Is Getting Out Of Hand!

I saw another news report about space debris and the space shuttle. Wasn’t it just last week that there was a report of bolts being lost in space? Are we just more sensitive to it now because we keep reading about it, or is the amount of it increasing so steadily that we can’t keep the stuff in check? It seems that the interstellar trash problem has really come to the forefront during the last two shuttle missions. That reminds me; I read yesterday that the infamous space spatula should reenter the earth’s atmosphere and burn up sometime next month. Why do I feel like Chicken Little all of a sudden?

At this rate, I could start a blog solely devoted to space garbage. I could call it Orbital Chaos or something like that. It’s not that I want to keep writing about space junk, but as a fake reporter, I feel it’s my fake responsibility to follow up on a continuing story I have already completely misreported.

The latest report is about the temporary concern over three new mysterious pieces of debris in orbit around the Atlantis. Is that how bad this has gotten? The debris is now described as mysterious, which means we don’t even know where it came from this time or what it is. After a thorough inspection, the shuttle was cleared for landing, which is a good thing because with its fleet of orbiters on the ground, NASA can now focus on figuring this littering problem out. My first high tech solution would be placing “Don’t Litter” bumper stickers inside the shuttle’s cargo bays.

The photo I posted above is of one of the newly found debris items. Officials are pretty sure it’s nothing more than a plastic bag. It looks more like the type of space creature that used to hold the Enterprise hostage until right after the last commercial break on Star Trek. They’re letting the shuttle come home, so I won’t worry anymore about it. Funny thing is though, when a plastic bag blows out of our garage or flys out of the trash can on garbage day and lands on the street, the neighbors get upset and someone picks it up. When it happens in space, apparently no one really cares.

Well, with the shuttle returning to earth today, I guess it’s time to stop worrying about space debris for a while. Mark your calendars however; the next shuttle mission is scheduled for launch on or around December 14. Maybe they can tuck away a few Christmas tree ornaments in the shuttle’s bay. Doesn’t the thought of orbital ornaments sound nice? You know they’re going to lose a few and for at least one day in December, I’ll be guaranteed something to write about! Thanks again, NASA.

7 comments:

Odat said...

The spatula's falling!
The spatula's falling!

Actually I think Nasa is doing their civil duty and recycling, is all.

mist1 said...

I don't own a spatula, so I'm really hoping that it lands near my house.

Michael C said...

Odat, Wouldn't it be cool if we all could get the opportunity to watch our recyclables burn up over the Pacific Ocean?

Mist: As long as it doesn't come straight through the roof.

Meloncutter said...

All I know is, with the "coed" crews going into space all the time, if I get hit in the with the charred remnants of a used condom I am going to sue someone.

That would be what... a Condomite? rubberoid?

What happens to the turds? Are we breathing astronaut turd ash in our air. I am gonna go to the flea market and get me a gas mask.

Word Verification... GYRPHMS

Def; small charred lumps found in the center of small craters thought to be meteorites but actually composed of astronaut crap.
Later Yall.....

ian said...

My thoughts on the space shuttle, in ten sentences or less (including this one). It uses technology that is thirty years old to fly into orbit. I have a car that is thirty years old. I don't like driving it across town because it might not be trustworthy. Across town is a HELL of a lot closer than orbit, and there is easy access to a tow truck. I'm no rocket scientist, but maybe it's time to mothball the old shuttle and let private industry have a turn instead.

Ian

JR's Thumbprints said...

Since no one cares about litter in space, maybe we could start space-barges full of garbage; it would give new meaning to what goes up must come down. Littering would no longer mean tossing something into the air.

ShadowFalcon said...

Just goes to show people are just lazy, if they don't have to pick up after themselves they won't bother...