This Space Debris Is Getting Out Of Hand!

I saw another news report about space debris and the space shuttle. Wasn’t it just last week that there was a report of bolts being lost in space? Are we just more sensitive to it now because we keep reading about it, or is the amount of it increasing so steadily that we can’t keep the stuff in check? It seems that the interstellar trash problem has really come to the forefront during the last two shuttle missions. That reminds me; I read yesterday that the infamous space spatula should reenter the earth’s atmosphere and burn up sometime next month. Why do I feel like Chicken Little all of a sudden?

At this rate, I could start a blog solely devoted to space garbage. I could call it Orbital Chaos or something like that. It’s not that I want to keep writing about space junk, but as a fake reporter, I feel it’s my fake responsibility to follow up on a continuing story I have already completely misreported.

The latest report is about the temporary concern over three new mysterious pieces of debris in orbit around the Atlantis. Is that how bad this has gotten? The debris is now described as mysterious, which means we don’t even know where it came from this time or what it is. After a thorough inspection, the shuttle was cleared for landing, which is a good thing because with its fleet of orbiters on the ground, NASA can now focus on figuring this littering problem out. My first high tech solution would be placing “Don’t Litter” bumper stickers inside the shuttle’s cargo bays.

The photo I posted above is of one of the newly found debris items. Officials are pretty sure it’s nothing more than a plastic bag. It looks more like the type of space creature that used to hold the Enterprise hostage until right after the last commercial break on Star Trek. They’re letting the shuttle come home, so I won’t worry anymore about it. Funny thing is though, when a plastic bag blows out of our garage or flys out of the trash can on garbage day and lands on the street, the neighbors get upset and someone picks it up. When it happens in space, apparently no one really cares.

Well, with the shuttle returning to earth today, I guess it’s time to stop worrying about space debris for a while. Mark your calendars however; the next shuttle mission is scheduled for launch on or around December 14. Maybe they can tuck away a few Christmas tree ornaments in the shuttle’s bay. Doesn’t the thought of orbital ornaments sound nice? You know they’re going to lose a few and for at least one day in December, I’ll be guaranteed something to write about! Thanks again, NASA.