Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Evolution In Progress?

I’ve heard of the phrase “jump the shark” to describe when a TV show does something completely unbelievable to capture ratings and then the show’s creativity and popularity both decline. It was coined when Fonzie literally jumped a shark in an episode of “Happy Days” when ratings were slumping (ok, that’s enough Cliff Claven useless trivia for the day).

But now I’m reading about a walking shark? There is an AP story out about a new shark found in the waters near Indonesia that walks on its fins. I think the Walking Sharks was also the name of a popular street gang in the ‘50s, wasn’t it?

Maybe the scientists witnessed evolution in motion when they found this little guy. It has long been proposed that we evolved from the oceans and became land dwelling mammals. Of course I’m skipping several million years in one sentence, but you get the point. Perhaps the walking shark is just a few years from getting up out of the ocean, walking off the beach, putting on a 3-piece suit and becoming a high powered executive of a multimedia company. Or maybe he’ll become a professional pool player. You know, pool shark. Or for the classic Saturday Night Live fans out there, maybe he’ll just hang around on land, knock randomly on people’s apartment doors and become a land shark. Oh well, never mind. I’ll get back the point.

I think it’s interesting that this shark was only recently discovered since it obviously did not just show up in the ocean from thin air. Though it does beg the question about whether it’s a walking shark or a running shark. If the shark uses its fins to run, it could explain how it has eluded discovery for so long. I would imagine its chances of hiding increase exponentially by running than walking.

I think ocean creatures are amazing. I am a little disappointed in this newly discovered shark though. It seems like a pretty lazy species. It chooses to just walk around when it could be swimming, which has been proven to burn a lot more calories. Maybe the walking shark was the unfortunate conclusion of creation’s indecision.

“Let me see, I’ll make a snake, no a shark…it can walk, no swim…on land…no on sea. Oh, forget it!”

Whatever the reason behind its existence and evolution, we should welcome this newfound species to our humble little planet. One thing is for sure though, if I’m ever snorkeling off the coast of Indonesia, I’m going to be on my best behavior. The last thing I want to do is upset a shark that can walk right up the beach and come after me!

Author’s note: In hindsight, after rereading what I’ve just written, maybe this blog has finally “jumped the shark." I knew it would happen sooner or later.

By the way maties, today is Talk Like A Pirate Day.....arggggh. So hoist your colors you bloomin' cockroaches. Don't forget to show 'em your "larboard" side. So me hearties, use your best ole salty pirate phrases or you be walkin' the plank.

This should be a fun thing to do all day. I'll talk like a Pirate and see how long it takes for my coworkers, I mean swabbies, to get sick of me. Arggggghhhh, shiver me timbers, I'm already annoying myself!! Dead men tell no tales, especially when they talk like pirates all day. Ok, I promise I'm done...arghhh


Meloncutter said...

I just crawled out of bed and my eyes are still fuzzy, but aint it kind of dangerous to hump the shark. Heck just swimming over a stingray will get ya killed.

You should post a warning to not try this stuff at home.

word verification was NSFFHG.
Steve Irwins last words....

Later yall....

mist1 said...

This is not new information, I'm sorry to report. Don't you remember the Land Shark of SNL fame?

Odat said...

Candygram! Hmmm....wonder how they knocked on the door? Perhaps once they started to walk..they developed prehensile thumbs too!
Aye aye matey.....batten down yer hatches...just in case a shark comes a knocking.....


the Not-Very-Laughorist said...

Well, as Bobby Darin sang, "Oh the shark, babe, has such teeth, dear, and he shows them pearly white." I don't know what the feck this has to do with anything. Maybe Jacgues Derrida and his Flying Derrida Brothers can weigh in on that one.
TIEPI = Native Home of Walking Shark

Michael C said...

Arghh, thanks for your comments guys.

Odat and Mist: It's clear you remember SNL's landshark. I'm glad because I thought it might be too obscure a reference.

Melon: I'm so sorry to confuse you so early in the morning ;-)

Very Laughorist: Do you have the appreciation of Bobby Darin that I do? Hippest version of Mack the Knife ever: Sinatra's!

ShadowFalcon said...

On a totally not really related note, the only good bit in "my super ex-girlfriend" is when she throws the shark at Luke Wilson

the laughorist said...

Frank Sinatra did "Mack the Knife"? I'd like to hear it. Don't you think that Mack the Knife should be a character on The Sopranos? Or is a knife too low-tech? Or am I stereotyping. I don't intend to be making any cutting remarks.

And, Michael, me Giants are done, they fell on their own sword. It wasn't very knife to see.


I was thinking exactly the same thing that mist1 said: Landshark! That was like one of the best SNL skits ever, by the way.