Saturday, September 29, 2007

Things I Learned This Week: 9/29/07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier.

This post marks the 1-year anniversary of “Things I Learned This Week.” I was tempted to do a Best-Of compilation but it would have taken way too much of my time I learned too many things again this week.


! I learned that when trying to get ready for work, I am running late and have not shaved for three days, that using an electric razor to shave my face is the equivalent of using a lawn mower to clear a forest.

! I learned that no matter how giddy I may be that I finally found and purchased Pumpkin Spice coffee creamer, it is still a bad idea to skip down the main hallway at work while clutching said creamer. Don’t worry, I’m pacing myself. I’m saving the eggnog creamer they had for next week.

! I learned that there is no way to look cool after tripping on the sidewalk when going for my daily walks. Maybe next time I’ll just bow.

! I learned that I do indeed reap what I sow after laughing for years at men’s unfortunate America’s Funniest Home Videos crotch shots when Ethel walked up, punched me in the man area and laugh hysterically. I guess that’s another show I need to cross off the viewing list now.

! I learned that even though Lucy and Ethel may meet the height requirement for certain rides at Disneyland, they may not meet the emotional requirement. I spent the remainder of the day there assuring them that we would not be going on Space Mountain again.

! I learned that despite the fact that I was at ‘The Happiest Place on Earth,’ people will still look at me funny when I bite into my new favorite food, the Monte Cristo sandwich, and yell ‘OH SWEET BABY’ at the top of my lungs. It may have been the first time in my life that I was on the verge of tears while at Disneyland.

And lastly,

! I learned that I do far too many things wrong when I have 5 of the 7 items on my ‘Things I Learned This Week’ list completed by Tuesday…

12 comments:

Patti said...

You're not doing things wrong, Michael. You are what's known as a free spirit, seizing the day and all that.

;-)

Patti said...

P.S. I'm first again, and I'm happy.

Tink said...

I, oh so, needed this. I think I will have to make you a weekly read for sure. OH SWEET BABY.... OMG.

sognatrice said...

This is hilarious!

I came here from the Warming the Globe with Friendship ring, and I'm so happy I did.

And I *love* pumpkin spice. I'll have to get my mom on that so she can send me some (I have no hopes of finding it in Italy).

Open Grove Claudia said...

MY favorite food is from Disneyland too! I love the fake New Orleans food.... sigh!

I have some muscle atrophy in my right leg which leaves me tripping all the time. I make it a goal every winter not to fall. In my 12 years here in Denver, I've made only one winter "fall free". Even the dog knows what to do when I fall. It's very sad....

abbersnail said...

These are my favorite things in the world. Bravo!

Odat said...

hey,,,,I swore I left a comment here yesterday!!! I wonder what happened to it???? Hmmm...It was good one too! ;-)
Peace

armalicious said...

I'm starting to wonder if we weren't separated at birth or something...

I can't wait to get my eggnog creamer. And the Peppermint Mocha. Mmmmm

Airam said...

Next time don't shave! A scruffy face is damn sexy.

FRIGGA said...

Hey, there are worse things that could be shouted while at Disneyland. BTW - did you doctor clear you for Space Mountain, that is a pretty intense ride (as far as Disneyland rides go).

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