Things I Learned This Week: 9/29/07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier.

This post marks the 1-year anniversary of “Things I Learned This Week.” I was tempted to do a Best-Of compilation but it would have taken way too much of my time I learned too many things again this week.


! I learned that when trying to get ready for work, I am running late and have not shaved for three days, that using an electric razor to shave my face is the equivalent of using a lawn mower to clear a forest.

! I learned that no matter how giddy I may be that I finally found and purchased Pumpkin Spice coffee creamer, it is still a bad idea to skip down the main hallway at work while clutching said creamer. Don’t worry, I’m pacing myself. I’m saving the eggnog creamer they had for next week.

! I learned that there is no way to look cool after tripping on the sidewalk when going for my daily walks. Maybe next time I’ll just bow.

! I learned that I do indeed reap what I sow after laughing for years at men’s unfortunate America’s Funniest Home Videos crotch shots when Ethel walked up, punched me in the man area and laugh hysterically. I guess that’s another show I need to cross off the viewing list now.

! I learned that even though Lucy and Ethel may meet the height requirement for certain rides at Disneyland, they may not meet the emotional requirement. I spent the remainder of the day there assuring them that we would not be going on Space Mountain again.

! I learned that despite the fact that I was at ‘The Happiest Place on Earth,’ people will still look at me funny when I bite into my new favorite food, the Monte Cristo sandwich, and yell ‘OH SWEET BABY’ at the top of my lungs. It may have been the first time in my life that I was on the verge of tears while at Disneyland.

And lastly,

! I learned that I do far too many things wrong when I have 5 of the 7 items on my ‘Things I Learned This Week’ list completed by Tuesday…