Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Q & A Tuesday – The One After The Three Day Holiday

Well, I hope your Labour/Labor Day was nice and relaxing. For me I don’t get another paid holiday until Thanksgiving. Great, now I’m depressed. I am working wounded for this installment of Q & A. Against my better judgment, I grilled when it was about 106 degrees out and I made the mistake of picking up what I thought was an unlit piece of charcoal while trying to repile them. It turns out it was lit (quite well, apparently) and I now have a major burn on about half of my left thumb and index finger (which is digit numero uno in my advanced multi-finger hunt and peck method of typing). Ok, once again, here are the rules: no note taking, I am not an expert in ANY field and you reference my answers at your own risk. Also, I tend to not spell check my answers because it just takes too long. Remember that major kudos and friendship points are awarded if you spot the now obligatory Tina Fey and That’s What She Said references. Here we go….

Brandy is back and first up this week. Welcome back Bran, we missed you last week (and yes, I am kissing up because of my little Office mistake…) Brandy asks:
1. What movie do you wish you had the starring role in?
You could really pick any James Bond film from Dr. No (the name of my actual doctor, by the way!!) to A View To A Kill. Although I might be somewhat partial to getting to play Bond in Moonraker because it’s one of the three that the awesome Shirley Bassey sang the theme song on, I’d get to fight Jaws and it was kind of like Bond meets Star Wars!

2. Favourite mode of transportation?
I am really going to have to start incorporating the ‘U’ into my spellings!! I gotta answer that I’m partial to my legs (that’s what she said). I enjoy walking and it’s pretty cheap transportation, it just takes a little while longer. An airboat like the use down in the Everglades and swamps might be cool, but there is NO need for one here in So Cal. Another reason why I think I should move!

3. What is to become of Karen this year on the Office?
I am so glad you asked me this Bran, especially with Season 3 coming out on DVD tomorrow and knowing that we’ll all be reliving that amazing finale. Here is what I believe will happen to the lovely Karen Filippelli: Bob Vance of Vance Refrigeration will hire a new apprentice named Michael C. Karen will bump into Michael C. in the parking lot after Dwight accidentally causes an office evacuation when he releases a ferret into the Scranton branch. Karen will fall madly in love with Michael C and will be able to get over Jim after he leaves her (politely, albeit) for his true love Pam. Did I mention that Karen is played by Quincy Jones’ daughter? As Kevin would say slowly….YESSSSSSS.

My Bestest Blogging Buddy Odat posed a very simple, yet surprisingly complex question. She asked: ‘Why don't you move????’
Well, after 5 straight days of about 110 degree weather, I am wondering the same thing. Also, it has become painfully obvious that I cannot buy lobster on almost any street corner here. I am held here by my job, my parents, grandparents and friends and the fact that I am somewhat indentured to my neighbor in order to pay off my debt to him for all of the inflatable balls that his kids have sent over my fence, which my dog Mabel has immediately destroyed…

Awesome Mom asked a really daring question. It was ‘do you pick your nose?’
Honestly, I do not. I am prone to bloody noses and they can be somewhat of a hassle, so I keep my fingers to myself (that’s what she said). This sadly leaves me with nothing to do when sitting in the car during traffic or at a stoplight.

Just Telling It Like It Is returns this week and true to her profession, poses a somewhat medically related question. It is: ‘if you lose your big toe nail several times let's say 7 times will it grow back?’
Hmmmmm, I had always thought that the limit to toe nail regeneration was about 4-5 times, so sadly, probably not. Now if I were a lizard or a starfish, it would grow back as many times as it needed to. Though both starfish and lizards have no big toe nails, which makes it even more remarkable! After the 5th time of losing the big toe nail, you’d have to wear a big toe nail cast, which looks more like a rubber sewing thimble. This would do nothing but throw off your balance and you’d fall a lot, which would cause you to hit your head, therefore forgetting all about your big toe problem.

Lemon Stand asked a question that people in the olden times (not the official name) were persecuted for asking: 'WHY is the world round? (My youngest just asked me that and I wanted to compare notes...)
Wow, that’s a hard one! The world is round so that we can have cool fancy globes in our offices. If the world had been flat, triangular, oval or even octagonal, globes wouldn’t be as easy to globicize, which as we all know is the process of manufacturing a globe. I sure hope that’s the same answer you gave your youngest so that he won’t become confused by different answers.

Airam asked another difficult question: ‘Why do you think that Canadians add a "U" in some words like colour and flavour and labour whereas Americans (or US Americans ... such as) leave it out?’
For the record, in honor of my Canadian friends, I have begun inserting the U into those types of words. My coworkers and boss think I have just forgotten to spell check, but the fact is, I come across as more worldly read that way. Now to answer your question, Canadians are fancier than Americans, and what better way to showcase the fancierness (again, not an official word) than spelling such words more elegantly. So, to my Canadian brother and sisters, I honour your superior fancierness!!

Patti always has great questions. But then she should, she’s a newspaper woman. She asked two questions this week.
‘What is the origin of the term "wee hours of the morning?’
Before going any further, I need to add that ‘The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning’ is one of my absolute favorite Sinatra tunes. The song is about longing for a girl in the middle of the night. Or more accurately, to quote The Chairman of the Board, ‘You lie awake and think about the girl, and never ever think of counting sheep.’ These lyrics actually give the wrong indication about what the phrase really means. When you wake up in the middle of the night, you usually need to visit the restroom and the original old time English spelling of ‘pee’ was ‘wee,’ hence the phrase ‘Wee small hours of the morning.’ It’s not pleasant, but it’s fact. Maybe.

Patti’s second question was:
‘Will Lucy also get a special evening out with Dad?’
Of course she will! We will order way too much food, go shopping, play in the park and then argue about what flavor of ice cream we want to share while I explain the jokes on The Office to her. Ok, I’m kidding about that last part. I learned my lesson when I let the twins watch ‘The Simpsons.’

Ralph, Patti’s awesome hubby asked: ‘As the NASCAR freak that you are, are you going to enter your Chevy truck in the Craftsman Truck Series...You could be a star and be more popular than the despised Jeff Gordon!’
I would like to very much Ralph. I just got new tires and should be able to out handle and pass most of my competitors, just like I do on the local roads. The only difference of course is that drivers in the Craftsman Truck Series would know they are racing me, whereas the people I pass while honking and laughing at do not. I should really just bump and run though. I don’t think Earnhardt Senior ever honked and laughed as he was passing…

Frigga stopped by (probably because I FINALLY remembered to hit her Thursday Thirteen post) to ask: ‘Okay, would you rather play the role of what's his name in Groundhog Day when he get's to eat all that food, or that Bobby character who gets to drive a race car and where the wonderbread suit?’
Definitely Ricky Bobby in Talladega nights! Even though Wonderbread is filing bankruptcy, I think they would still recognize the importance of sponsoring a race car. It would be fun reliving Ground Hog day, but after the 10th or so repetition of it, I might become a little annoyed and cranky.

Beth wanted to know ‘Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?’
The easy answer would be to say San Diego or that Carme is hiding in the hills of Tora Bora with Waldo, but I never, ever take the easy way out. No seriously, I don’t! Therefore, I can say that Carmen Sandiego is currently in the witness protection program hiding under the alias Gloria SanQuentin in Needles, California. She was first offered the Alias named Britney Spears as a drunken wayward mother, but felt no one would believe such a cover story.

A newcomer to my blog, Aislínge, takes the cake this week with 10 questions!
1. Are you religious? If so, what do you practice and how did you come to be a believer?
I am Catholic. I came to this belief as most Catholics do: fear and guilt.
2. Your twins are Lucy and Ethel. How did you arrive at those particular names?
They are code names to protect the innocent. One is actually named after my favorite race track and the other is a name that the whole family liked, although she almost was named after a racetrack too. Ok, rereading this sentence does not paint me in a very good light I fear.
3. What is your reaction to blood?
I’m ok with it. Because I am on blood thinners, I have to have my blood checked every 2 weeks. However, my reaction isn’t so great when the needle is stuck into me and no blood appears. That reaction could best be described as ‘ticked off.’
4. How do you like September? Is it a favoured month or not so much? Which is your favourite month and why?
September is ok. It is certainly better than March. I have two favorite months. December and July because they both contain my favorite holidays.
5. Describe an ideal day for me. The perfect one.
The perfect day would involve waking up when I want to as opposed to when the twins want me to. It would be a breakfast burrito, no work, nachos for lunch and lobster for dinner topped with key lime pie. I would get to watch lots of sports and documentaries on TV and NBC would run a 30 Rock (because I love Tina Fey) and Office Marathon. Winning the lottery would be nice too.
6. Describe your actual day for me. A normal one.
I would wake up far too early because the twins want breakfast. I would not have time to eat breakfast because I was running late for work. Lunch would be somewhere one of my coworkers picked and I would be asked to stay late. I would miss dinner and then fall asleep before I got to watch any TV.
7. Favourite ice cream flavour?
Mint Chip. Until they figure out how to blend lobster and cheese into an ice cream base. I would definitely give that a try!
8. Besides eggnog, favourite drink? Does your eggnog come with or without alcohol?
Probably diet Mountain Dew. I can’t have eggnog so I know I am missing the full eggnog experience.
9. The best moment of your life
Watching the birth of my twins. Although the recent two races in a row where Jeff Gordon spun out while leading late in the event comes a very close second!
10. The best thing about having twins
Getting to experience double the great moments. However, this is balanced out by getting to experience double the bad moments, like incessant whining.

The Exception had 5 questions for me this week. They are:
1. What song is running through your head right now... why?
The Carpenters’ Rainy Days And Mondays.’ I have no idea why, but if I can figure it out, it will never be running through my head again.
2. When were your "Glory Days?"
Perhaps high school. Maybe college. Gheesh, that’s depressing!
3. If you could live in any period of time excluding the latter third of the 20th century to present, when would you live and why?
Probably during our nation’s birth and fight for independence. I am fascinated by that period. I wouldn’t want to wear the wigs though. This might make me want to change my answer now…
4. Why did you choose your current profession and is it the one you want for the foreseeable future?
Well, when I realized I was going to be the father of twins, I knew I had to give up my freelance PR biz and get a real job. If I am still at this job for the foreseeable future, it will be due to the fact that I am heavily medicated to the point that I don’t realize I keep showing up at the same place everyday!
5. What is your favorite female asset?
I need to be careful here, but honestly, it’s a sense of humor (like Tina Fey, for example). That is far and away the greatest asset I think a female can possess.

Whew, I'm spent! But we made it through another Q&A installment. Well, I don’t know if you did, but I had to type all of these answers, so I know I did. Have a great week! At least it’s one day shorter, right?


AndreAnna said...

That's it! We are no longer friends!

Lis said...

At first I thought the names Lucy and Ethel were from I Love Lucy and I didn't know one of them was the name of a race track and then it hit me that you were referring to the twins' real names. *Smacks head*

Also, I saw an episode of Seinfeld a couple days ago where Kramer gave Jerry a PEZ dispenser and I thought of you! :D

Also also, since I think a great sense of humour in a guy is pretty damn hot, if you come across a male version of Tina Fey, send him my way, will ya?

Patti said...

Great answers as usual, Michael, but now I'm totally confused about the twins' names. Named after a racetrack?

I'll have to consult Ralph on this one.

OOh, and I have a question already for next Tuesday!

The Exception said...

Great and fun answers - a race track? Intersting.

Do they like their names?

Open Grove Claudia said...

Did you grow up in SoCal? I did. We moved after being in the middle of the riots (I slept in my bathtub for 3 days), the earthquake, the flood, and fires. And we've done all right here, really. But there are certain things that I believed were true about the world, that simple are not true.

I'd encourage you not to move - that's the bottom line.

brandy said...

Ahh MC, you have thrilled me once again with your answers. There is so much to comment on. First of all, you would want to hook up with Karen? Really? I mean, don't get me wrong, the girl is pretty but I'm pretty sure my calculator is funnier than her- and my calculator isn't really that funny. I like to think she hooks up with Creed and starts dressing like him. Oh that reminds of the Christmas episode where Creed gives Jim a shirt rolled up in a ball as a gift. Man that makes me giggle. Ohh, I should go get the new season today. Okay, I'm going to have to come back and comment again on the rest of the stuff because this is getting long (twss) and I've only discussed the Office.

Carrie said...

Hello! I found you through The Exception, in case you were wondering.

On Canadians (and I am Canadian) inserting the letter U into some words; well, I guess it's an off-shoot of Britian so to speak. I mean, we DO have the Queen on our paper bills and on some coins...

And I was educated in America, so I can understand the crazy looks you get when a (an?) U is missing (on my side) and when a (an?) U is added.

brandy said...

Whoa. I just had actual university learning come back to me in a flash. From my hazy memory, Carrie is right- the reason for the 'u's is from the British. When America asserted it's independence, Webster (of dictioanary fame) cut the 'u's and promoted spelling reform to assert independence and give the US a stronger national sense of identity. An interesting sidenote is that Jefferson actually used some 'ou' words himself, and the original draft of the declaration of independence included 'honour'. Not that this matters at all, but since I'm not using my degree for a job, I thought I would slip in any knowledge I have on a topic to make myself feel good. I'm sure it won't get annoying immediately.

kat said...

What a great way to end all the catching up I needed to do on your blog! I love Q&A - even though I've missed out on participating the last few weeks.

Very insightful answers (although I smell bullshit on the globe question).

And now I'm all caught up. And life is back to normal!

FRIGGA said...

Ya, telling us you named a twin after a racetrack really didn't help - her name is Pikes Peak or Lowe's or something.... Which you love racing enough, I suppose she could be California with the middle name Speedway?

Oh well, I enjoyed your answers this week, however it was pretty long and now I don't remember most of the first several Q's.

Wait, am I missing something? Is Season 3 already out on DVD? Am I still in the dark for no good reason?

Lemon Stand said...

Michael, um, no, our answers did not match but I must give you points as your answers were far more creative and interesting than mine. :o)

Airam said...

So it's cuz we're fancy huh? I guess since the British are so fancy then that must mean we are too.

So are you saying that you only have one Canadian brother and multiple Canadian sisters?

Michael C said...

AA: One more last chance, please? Pretty please with fluff on top??

Lis: See, you're starting to get the whole PEZ thing, aren't ya? I always liked to think that I was the male version of Tina...wait, did that come out right??

Patti: There is another clue...maybe another time ;-)

The Exception: you did a great Q & A too. Yes, they like their names a lot.

Claudia: Born, raised and educated here.

Bran: Creed is so underrated! I love the random knowledge. It's like knowing a really cool Cliff Claven. It may not sound like it, but it's really late and I mean that as such a compliment.

Carrie: Welcome. Well, if it comes from the British, than you most certainly are fancier than us Americans!!

Kat: I'm always so relieved when you are caught up on my blogs. Really!!

Frigga: Nope, try a few more racetracks. But kudos on listing the ones you did ;-)

Lemon Stand: But your answers probably won't affect the development of your children ;-)

Airam: Yep, you have more fancierness! Wow, I really did type Canadian brother? Hmmmm, I'm not even sure I have that many...and I can only name two Canadian females that I know...perhaps I should say Canadian friends? Ah heck, it's too late right now for multi-national humour.

Odat said...

Wow, Another great job. But then again I don't except any less from you, my friend. So sorry to hear about your burned hand...ouch!!!
I once was walking on the beach once and decided to rest a few and sat on a big rock. I starting digging in the samd with my sneakered (is that a word?) foot when all of sudden i realized the rubber on my shoe was melting!!! Someone had buried hot coals in the sand!!!!
(ouch). All I'm saying with this is that I can relate. ;-). Altho I don't type with my feet.

Patti said...

I forgot to tell you I'm also sorry to hear about that burned hand.
Hope it's better today.

meleah rebeccah said...


I did NOT know you were the father of TWINS.

Dood. You need an award.