Thursday, September 06, 2007

Now THAT Was A Road Trip

Earlier this week, OK, this week back in 1930, perhaps one of the coolest road trips ever came to an end just over 40 days after it started. Two men arrived in New York after making a round trip to LA and back. I know just what you are asking, ‘where’s the story about melted cheese,’ ‘how did your twins terrorize you most recently,’ ‘is that really what she said?’ Ok, seriously, you are probably asking why this was the greatest road trip ever. Honestly, I have no freaking idea, I just couldn’t think of a better intro. However, it may have something to do with the fact that the road trip was completed entirely backwards, but that’s just a guess.

Yep the 1930 cross-continent trip was done with the two men’s Model A Ford in reverse…the entire time. Now I have seen ‘Smokey and the Bandit,’ I have seen ‘Tommy Boy’ and I have even seen (appropriately enough) ‘Road Trip,’ but I gotta tell ya, driving backwards for almost 5,000 miles beats all of them, and remember every thing that Burt Reynolds did in his Trans-Am. Although I guess in a time where there were no chair or roof mounted DVD players or game consoles, CD players or even cruise control, something had to be done to bring a little excitement to the road trip. I would love to have been a fly on the white walls when they had their discussion about driving backwards. As many things like this often do, it smacks of a drunken dare. Since this was before most highways as we know them today were built (I guess think), it made the feat even more impressive.

Now I’m not saying that it would be much less impressive today. It would certainly be illegal and dangerous, but that just equates to it being more fun. I’m sure one of ESPN’s many channels would cover it and no later than a few days into the trip I’m sure the car would be sponsored, most likely by something that could tie in to the backwards trip. Maybe Caterpillar’s new line of backhoes (why do I feel like that needs a That’s What She Said?), a water filer that utilizes REVERSE osmosis or maybe a manufacturer of rear view mirrors. OK, those are lame, but look at the material I have to work with.

As the end of summer was closing in these last few weeks, I came to the realization that I missed out on taking a road trip of my own this year. I love driving for no reason and I love road trips. The idea of getting a bunch of friends together, fighting over the music, arguing about who gets to use the map highly sophisticated GPS device and deciding against better judgment what roadside choke ‘n puke to eat at just sounds like so much fun doesn’t it.

Of course a road trip needs a destination and I have a few that I’ve always wanted to road trip to. The first one would be a culinary road trip across country to savor the many great foods that our country has to offer (like Disco Fries and Fondue), and yes, my final destination would be a roadside lobster shack. I love road trips to Vegas, but for some reason, and despite my obvious display of gleeful enjoyment, no one else has ever appreciated as much as I do me putting ‘Viva Las Vegas’ on the stereo as we hit the last grade and descend down into Vegas. In fact, many times I have been asked to ‘turn that crap off!’

Another trip would be to Graceland, preferably in a very large older Cadillac. I’m still not 100% decided on requiring all of my fellow road trippers to dress up in sequined Elvis jumpsuits, but am leaning heavily towards it. I think that touring cheese factories across the country would be a lot of fun, possibly a little stinky, but fun nonetheless. For everyone sick of hearing about cheese, most dairies make fantastic ice cream, too. If you are lactose intolerant, I’m sure there is a public library or roadside fruit stand we can drop you off at until we are done. Lastly, I would want to take a road trip to famous movie and TV locales. I’d add the Brady Bunch house, Richie Cunningham’s house, the Munster’s house and Beaver Cleaver’s house. Yes, I realize all of those are in Los Angeles (and that they are all houses), but I never said how long this road trip would be. It’s a day trip, how’s that. Then we’ll all stop at Pinks for their famous hot dogs when we’re done and I’d have you home in time for Jeopardy. For a little longer travel time, I’d plan my route to include Forrest Gump’s mamma’s house, Ralphie Parker’s home from A Christmas Story, the fishing pond that Andy and Opie Taylor walk to at the beginning of the Andy Griffith Show and the brewery used for the opening credits of Laverne and Shirley.

If I were really on my game, I would burn a companion travel CD containing all of the theme songs from these shows to listen to while we drive. Granted it’s not putting the car in reverse and driving across country, but think of how much fun it would be to team-whistle (yeah, I think it’s a real term. Why do you ask?) the Andy Griffith Show theme or team-sing the Schlemiel Schlimazel part from Laverne and Shirley while speeding down the highway with McDonald’s wrappers whirling all over the place. Now, should we do rock/papers/scissors to decide who’s gonna pay for the first tank of gas?

34 comments:

Airam said...

First! And now I need to get ready for work. I will comment more appropriately later tonight.

AndreAnna said...

You can drive backwards to NJ where we can show you how to really enjoy food!!! My sister is obessesed with the Olive Garden too and I repeat to her what I say to you: Mario Batali is somewhere crying.

AndreAnna said...

You can drive backwards to NJ where we can show you how to really enjoy food!!! My sister is obessesed with the Olive Garden too and I repeat to her what I say to you: Mario Batali is somewhere crying.

AndreAnna said...

Ooops, guess I was twice as cool and it posted double.

Michael C said...

Airam: OK, you win for being first today! But you have to read the post to be awarded the points ;-)

AA: Yes, twice as cool with the double comment!!! I saw on your blog that someone calls it the OG -- I may need to start referring to it as that and yes, Mario Batali should of off crying somewhere. At least the music they play is good.

Candace said...

.sesuoh laer erew esoht wonk t'ndid I

Really? Backwards? Too bad that doesn't generate gasoline.

Michael C said...

Candace: Ok, you just proved how much more talented you are than me! Here is the only word I can spell backwards: BOB

meleah rebeccah said...

If I had to take another road trip but drive IN REVERSE, I wouldn't make it past my driveway.

I am THE WORST REVERSE driver. EVER.

(Tommy Boy... don't even get me started with quotes from THAT movie!)

Michael C said...

Meleah: My fav Tommy Boy quote: 'That's gonna leave a mark.' I use it whenever I hurt myself, which is quite often, by the way.

Odat said...

You're really an old soul, aren't you Michael?
Peace

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

And to think, I know people who get their kicks from going through the drive through backwards.

Candace said...

Well, you didn't see how long that took me! ^_^

TIT works, too, as my 5 yo pointed out the other day.

Open Grove Claudia said...

Hey pile in the car and come to Denver! It won't be snowing here until... at least next week... I'm pretty sure! ;)

My grandfather arrived in LA by rail in 1932 - I don't think there was a lot of car travel in the 1930s. Cars existed but I don't think a lot of people had them.

Patti said...

I agree totally with your best buddy Odat. It's obvious you are an old soul.
I've long thought so, but this post really was the icing on the cake.

Maybe you should watch an old Bob Hope road picture for giggles.

Michael C said...

Odat: Fine, since you outed my as an old soul, I guess I am!! ;-)

Silver: Wait, you can do that? What fun!!!!

Candace: Good point with the time taking! If my 5 year olds pointed that out I'd pass out...after giggling for a little while and making them repeat it :D

Claudia: Then Denver it is!!

Patti: I have watched a few of the Bob and Bing movies ;-)

AndreAnna said...

That "someone" on m blog who calls it the OG is my sister Amy. Like real-life biological sister. And if you think I am a foodie, ha! She puts me to shame!

Ralph said...

Make that Caddy the one with the wildest fins ever - a pink 1959 deVille convertible, that's your ride!

Will the ride to cheesehead nation include limburger and onion sandwiches washed down by yummy malt beverages?

Michael C said...

AA: Ok, then we need to stop by her place when I finally visit out there. We can skip the stop at the ole OG though.
;-)

Ralph: I was thinking pink Caddy!!

Candace said...

Yeah, I definitely giggled a lot. We had been talking about palindromes for a while iver the previeous few days, and then when we were watching Monty Python, somone said "tit" (imagine) and she piped up, "Tit is a palindrome." ^_^ Needless to say, everyone else in the family cracked up. This is the same child, when asked if "boo" was a palindrome, said "no, but if you spelled it 'boob' it would be." Muahahahaha!! Being the youngest makes for a warped sens of humour I think.

Candace said...

Um, you may have noticed by now that I can't type to save my life. :-P I'm not actually drunk or anything.

Michael C said...

Candace: That is priceless!!!!!! I shall start on palindromes with Lucy and Ethel tonight ;-)

U schuld cee mi spillinmg whun I dun''t spilll chick

FRIGGA said...

I LOVE ROAD TRIPS!!!! And the Viva Las Vegas down the final grade is so classic I'd love it!

Okay, past that you talked about cheese and now all I can think about is that block of heaven in my fridge that's labled "Smoked Cheddar" :-0... Cheese :-0...

Michael C said...

Frigga: OMG!!!! Smoked Cheddar. There is now a small hole in my stomach where the smoked cheddar should be!

mist1 said...

After one road trip with me, most people swear them off for good.

Michael C said...

Mist1: Sadly, I could say the same thing. I could also say the same thing about working with me, playing sports with me, watching TV with me, eating with me....well, you get the idea.

Airam said...

I love road trips although I don't do them often enough (never).

Michael C said...

Airam: Me either (or is it neither?). Perhaps it's the music I select. But seriously, who doesn't like doing the train sounds and gestures during 'Midnight Train To Georgia??'

Airam said...

That's what she said.

Michael C said...

Airam: Now you're just showing off!!!
;-)

meleah rebeccah said...

I use that too!

And "did I catch a nine-er in there? were you calling from a walkie talkie...."

OR

"....FAT GUY IN A LITTLE COAT....."

I sing that all damn day.

kat said...

Might I suggest a road trip to the Eact Coast?????????

Bring the fam. We'll eat disco fries and laugh about old times we've never had!

Michael C said...

Kat: That is definitely on the to-do list! I love the idea of laughing about old times we've never had. I really do!!!!

CS said...

I haven't done more than drive to the becah in a while, but someday I'd like to drive straight up either coast.

s.j.simon said...

:) did you know how cheese was invented? It wasnt necessity, it was an accident, read this