Sunday, September 02, 2007

Things I Learned This Week: 9/2/07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. Yes, I realize it's Sunday, but I really don't need any heckling today. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier.

! I learned that while soon-to-be five year olds can be taught how to shell a peanut, they do not yet possess the discipline to shell them over the bowl I asked them to. Perhaps it’s my fault for placing the bowl on the floor in front of the TV, but hey, the Wiggles were on!

! I learned that when going to a NASCAR event and I know beforehand that it is going to be 110 degrees and my only clean Dale Jr. T-shirt is black, I probably should forgo displaying my support of my favorite driver. That combined with greasy sun tan lotion creates a sensation on my skin that I am choosing to refer to as 5 kinds of funk.

! I learned that while it is perfectly acceptable to yell rude things at Jeff Gordon while at the racetrack, I should check who is sitting around me prior to beginning my tirades. As a tip, I can tell you that two things to look for are 1. Small children and 2. Big men wearing Jeff Gordon apparel.

! I learned that BBQ’ing in 110 degree heat is just stupid. I also learned that when I’ll be out in such heat and sun, I need to make sure that I apply lotion to the tops of my feet when wearing sandals. I hope my boss will understand that sunburned feet tops are a legitimate ailment and that he will be accommodating when I show up to work on Tuesday wearing slacks, shirt, tie and sandals.

! I learned that giving Lucy and Ethel Play-Doh near carpeted surfaces will not go down in history as one of my top parenting moments. And to think I thought I had averted disaster by telling them ‘now you be careful with this stuff.’ Go figure…

! I learned that despite all my fooling around at work, I had the best stats of anyone in my office this past week. While I have no idea how that happened and certainly cannot give myself the credit, I made the mistake of telling my coworkers about this. Perhaps that is why my cubicle was under constant Nerf Gun attack for the remainder of the week.

And lastly,

! I learned that just because I am having a special evening out with only one of the twins, I don’t need to order $40 dollars worth of appetizers, drinks, dessert and entrees. This is especially true given the fact that Ethel probably only ate $7.50 worth.


*****Q & A Tuesday is coming up and I can't provide the A's if I don't have any Q's. So, if there is anything you want to ask me, anything I can help you with, or if you seek solutions to any of life's problems and mysteries, feel free to ask away!!*****

19 comments:

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

good to know michael, as always!

smiles, bee

Candace said...

Very useful stuff! I, too, learned the Play-Doh lesson the hard way. I just conisder this carpet disposable after all it's been through. :-/

I'm so confused. I thought the Cup Race was today. Were you at practice? That expensive lemonade sure does taste good at any racetrack.

Here's hoping you got the 5 kinds of funk off. Lemonade is acidic. It might help. ^_^

Odat said...

Ok, let me see now....peanut shells and play dough on the floor,
sunburned feet, gunky body, almost getting killed at race, nerf guns, overeating....sounds like a a good scarey movie!!
Peace

Michael C said...

Bee: Glad I could help!

Candace: Yeah, the Cup race is in a few hours. I was at both Cup practices and the Busch race last night. The $5 lemonade was awesome!! Not really good for quenching heat induced thirst though ;-)

Just telling it like it is said...

Question: if you loose your big toe nail several times let's say 7 times will it grow back?>?
I can't help myself I need mental help. Hope all is well...I'm better!

AndreAnna said...

Your poor, poor children. ;)

And my husband has Reef tan lines on the tops of his feet. So ridiculous.

Michael C said...

Odat: It does. Hmmmmmmm ;-)

Just Telling: Welcome back!!!!!

AA: Yes, my poor kids indeed. Reef tans, ha!!!!

Jenny! said...

The Wiggles freak me out...and eating nuts while watching just sounds super dirty...but maybe that's just me and how my mind works!

Lemon Stand said...

Guess it's time to stop lurking...

If you think play dough is hard to get out of carpets... you ought to see the finger paints... Despite the fact that it is SUPPOSED to be washable.

Lemonade is too the cure all... okay, SOMETIMES it works better if it's Hard Lemonade... but still...

Go Dale Jr.!!!

And since you asked... WHY is the world round? (My youngest just asked me that and I wanted to compare notes...)

Michael C said...

Jenny!: The Wiggles freak me out too. Although for some reason the music is catchy -- perhaps it's brainwashing. Ok, no more peanut eating while watching the Wiggles ;-)

Lemon Stand: Welcome! I don't even want to acknowledge the existence of finger paints. I get chills just thinking about it. Yes, go Dale Jr.!!!! Thanks for the Q, too!

Airam said...

Play-dough near carpeted area?!?!?! Gah!

I'm not a parent but I do hang around 5 and 6 year olds fairly regulary (being a teacher and all) so I suggest that in the future you run all your arts and crafts experiments by me before you go about them. Oh you more likely know more than I do ... I should be coming to you!

Hmmmm ... question ...

Why do you think that Canadians add a "U" in some words like colour and flavour and labour whereas Americans (or US Americans ... such as) leave it out?

Michael C said...

Airam: But by sheer volume, you have dealt with far more kids than me, so I should run arts and crafts by you.

Hmmmm, the 'U' question. I shall have to ponder this one labourioUsly :D

Crashdummie said...

Play-Doh? Its actually pronunced play-d'oh! ;)

Patti said...

I had a similar carpet experience when our daughter was five. I bought her modeling clay and didn't supervise her in her room...

I'm with Odat, sounds like your week has had all the makings of a scary movie.

I will re-pose my question from a few weeks back: What is the origin of the term "wee hours of the morning"

After reading this, another ? has popped into my head.
Will Lucy also get a special evening out with Dad?
;-)
(I think I know the answer)

Ralph said...

Q&A: As the NASCAR freak that you are, are you going to enter your Chevy truck in the Craftsman Truck Series...You could be a star and be more popular than the despised Jeff Gordon!

Do you drive a Siverado extended cab 1500, 5.3 Vortec?

Michael C said...

Crash: That is a lot more fun to say!!!

Patti: Thanks for resending the question. I would not have wanted to forget!!!

Ralph: Good questions!!

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

We had a ban on play doh in my house when I was small because of the carpet thing...

Honestly, it was all my (older) cousins' fault!

FRIGGA said...

Thank you for my weekly lesson!

Oh, and I posted the interview!!

kat said...

Things I Learned This Week is one of my favorite columns on the web. And when I say "the web" I mean the WHOLE web. Have you thought of submitting it to a web-zine or something as a weekly feature?