Randomness

I fear that at times I am misusing the bullet. It’s just so much easier to jot down random thoughts and call it a post sometimes than crafting a spectacularly worded essay on the emotional benefits of cheese or recounting the funniest crotch hits I’ve seen on America’s Funniest Home Videos, even though all of the videos do not appear to have been taped in America.

* Why go to all the effort of decorating your front yard and roof for Christmas when you aren’t going to have the lights on at 5pm on a Sunday evening? Maybe this is the EXACT time where some people promise they will take their identical twin daughters out to look at Christmas lights. Oh, not me, I’m just sayin’…

* Does it really count when your grandmother is the one who is telling you ‘You know, you really are a handsome young man?’ I’m thinking it doesn’t.

* If a lemonaide is called 'Organic,' is it really necessary to say that it contains natural lemon flavors, natural lemon juices and real fruit? Wouldn't that be like saying 'contains real dead animal' on a package of pork or beef? You know, as opposed to seeing that last phrase on a package of hot dogs or a can of Spam.

* Do you think you should tell the rest of your coworkers that you have switched their everyday pot of coffee with Hot Rum flavored coffee? I don’t want my secretary thinking ‘the bosses never have a second cup of my coffee…’

* For the love of all that is holy, will someone please teach me how to use the Google Reader? And why is it not called something cooler like Googleader?

* Did Judge Judy REALLY have to be the first thing I watched on the new Hi-Def TV?

* I saw Rachael Ray’s face on a box of Ritz Crackers the other day. Then later that night I saw her on a Ritz Cracker ad on TV. I went upstairs and hid under the covers. The revolution has begun!

* If turkey and cranberries and stuffing are so darn great (that’s a rhetorical question), why not just make it whenever I want. It’s available and probably a lot cheaper. Plus, then you could eat it without having all that family around to ruin it.

* Is Katie Couric still doing the CBS news? Is the news still happier and more perky and easier to take? That reminds me; I need to die within the next 10 years so Walter Cronkite will still be around to read my eulogy. Of course I won’t be able to see it, so maybe I shouldn’t die in the next 10 years. I could fake my death, move to NY and call myself Jimmy McJames and become Giada DeLaurentis’ Soux Chef (which I’m thinking is the kitchen equivalent of being a mechanic or handyman’s tool bitch). Don’t worry, I wouldn’t mind.

* I fear that teaching Lucy and Ethel to stand around their fake food and pretend they are hosting a cooking show was not the best thing to do. Especially when I find them ‘experimenting’ with their daily snacks. Although, I do have to confess that little blocks of cheddar cheese sandwiched between 2 Cheez-It crackers are Yum-O! Oh my God, did I just type Yum-O? OK, the death within 10 thing is looking like a good idea again.

* Does anyone else ever wonder if they will accidentally find themselves in the wild face to face with a huge feral pig…and not have a fork? Yikes!

* I think Karen Carpenter had the best female voice of the last 2-3 decades. Yeah, I know that came out of nowhere, but remember, this is random.

* Don’t ever stoke the logs in the fire barehanded. You’d think this was self-explanatory. Notice I said ‘you’d think. I didn’t say ‘I’d think.’

* If I know where my eyes are, then why is it so damn hard (TWSS) for me to get eye drops into them?

* Is it really necessary for ANY radio station to include Clay Aiken on their playlist? Talk about ruining that special holiday feeling!

* Should I feel bad that I think of the current writer’s strike as a job opening?

* If I can’t find the time to visit and comment on my favorite blogger’s blogs, will they take the time to visit mine? Man, I hope so. Will they do so if I offer a cash reward?

* I had a hot flash the other day. It really freaked me out until I realized that a few hours earlier I had turned the house’s heater on.