Monday, November 26, 2007

Randomness

I fear that at times I am misusing the bullet. It’s just so much easier to jot down random thoughts and call it a post sometimes than crafting a spectacularly worded essay on the emotional benefits of cheese or recounting the funniest crotch hits I’ve seen on America’s Funniest Home Videos, even though all of the videos do not appear to have been taped in America.

* Why go to all the effort of decorating your front yard and roof for Christmas when you aren’t going to have the lights on at 5pm on a Sunday evening? Maybe this is the EXACT time where some people promise they will take their identical twin daughters out to look at Christmas lights. Oh, not me, I’m just sayin’…

* Does it really count when your grandmother is the one who is telling you ‘You know, you really are a handsome young man?’ I’m thinking it doesn’t.


* If a lemonaide is called 'Organic,' is it really necessary to say that it contains natural lemon flavors, natural lemon juices and real fruit? Wouldn't that be like saying 'contains real dead animal' on a package of pork or beef? You know, as opposed to seeing that last phrase on a package of hot dogs or a can of Spam.

* Do you think you should tell the rest of your coworkers that you have switched their everyday pot of coffee with Hot Rum flavored coffee? I don’t want my secretary thinking ‘the bosses never have a second cup of my coffee…’


* For the love of all that is holy, will someone please teach me how to use the Google Reader? And why is it not called something cooler like Googleader?

* Did Judge Judy REALLY have to be the first thing I watched on the new Hi-Def TV?

* I saw Rachael Ray’s face on a box of Ritz Crackers the other day. Then later that night I saw her on a Ritz Cracker ad on TV. I went upstairs and hid under the covers. The revolution has begun!

* If turkey and cranberries and stuffing are so darn great (that’s a rhetorical question), why not just make it whenever I want. It’s available and probably a lot cheaper. Plus, then you could eat it without having all that family around to ruin it.

* Is Katie Couric still doing the CBS news? Is the news still happier and more perky and easier to take? That reminds me; I need to die within the next 10 years so Walter Cronkite will still be around to read my eulogy. Of course I won’t be able to see it, so maybe I shouldn’t die in the next 10 years. I could fake my death, move to NY and call myself Jimmy McJames and become Giada DeLaurentis’ Soux Chef (which I’m thinking is the kitchen equivalent of being a mechanic or handyman’s tool bitch). Don’t worry, I wouldn’t mind.

* I fear that teaching Lucy and Ethel to stand around their fake food and pretend they are hosting a cooking show was not the best thing to do. Especially when I find them ‘experimenting’ with their daily snacks. Although, I do have to confess that little blocks of cheddar cheese sandwiched between 2 Cheez-It crackers are Yum-O! Oh my God, did I just type Yum-O? OK, the death within 10 thing is looking like a good idea again.

* Does anyone else ever wonder if they will accidentally find themselves in the wild face to face with a huge feral pig…and not have a fork? Yikes!

* I think Karen Carpenter had the best female voice of the last 2-3 decades. Yeah, I know that came out of nowhere, but remember, this is random.

* Don’t ever stoke the logs in the fire barehanded. You’d think this was self-explanatory. Notice I said ‘you’d think. I didn’t say ‘I’d think.’

* If I know where my eyes are, then why is it so damn hard (TWSS) for me to get eye drops into them?

* Is it really necessary for ANY radio station to include Clay Aiken on their playlist? Talk about ruining that special holiday feeling!

* Should I feel bad that I think of the current writer’s strike as a job opening?

* If I can’t find the time to visit and comment on my favorite blogger’s blogs, will they take the time to visit mine? Man, I hope so. Will they do so if I offer a cash reward?

* I had a hot flash the other day. It really freaked me out until I realized that a few hours earlier I had turned the house’s heater on.


14 comments:

Odat said...

Here I am...Where's the cash?

I'm trying to navigate google reader also! It's slow but i'm getting there.

Peace

CS said...

Yea, send the cash!

And a couple of random answers: No, it is not necessary to include Clay AIken on the playlist, and yes, you should warn people that you switche to an evil flavored coffee.

katherine. said...

the first three get the cash right?

you don't want to use reader...it just tells you that there are hundreds of posts you have yet to read...

Anonymous said...

Always pass up Google Reader. Need more Clay Aiken.

Anonymous said...

Clay had the biggest selling Xmas cd in more than 30 years: don't knock him or his glorious voice. Apparently you would rather hear the Chipmunks???? Probably-apparently you don't have great taste in music! I agree: NEED MORE CLAY! The world would be much better off if more people would appreciate the man AND his music.

brandy said...

Google reader gets easier with practice. And pretty soon, you will wonder how you ever lived without it. Just open it up, and subscribe to the blogs you want by copying their url into the "add subscription" tab. If you need some help, shoot me an email and I will walk you through it. Wow. It feels bizarre to know how to do something computer related. This has... never happened before. I think I need to go lay down.

Tink said...

If you figure it out let me know. Right now I'm being pulled out the chair by a three year old so it is a bit harder to read than if I was alone. And your podcasts are infinitely more entertaining then being yelled at through a snorkle that is stuck in my ear. And yes I will read you even if you don't visit me. :)

Mrs4444 said...

I love, love, love Karen Carpenter's voice! Maybe it's because my older sisters were teens during the 1960's and played her constantly (I don't remember), but every time I hear her voice, I feel like I am with a friend :)

Tragic ending for her...too bad.

meleah rebeccah said...

"* Do you think you should tell the rest of your coworkers that you have switched their everyday pot of coffee with Hot Rum flavored coffee? I don’t want my secretary thinking ‘the bosses never have a second cup of my coffee…’"

No....but I do think we should switch th coffee to pure Hot Rum.

"* Should I feel bad that I think of the current writer’s strike as a job opening?"

NO NO NO NO NO.

Please for the love of comedy and all things Tina Fey... PLEASE seize the opportunity. You are so freking talented its amazing.


"* If I can’t find the time to visit and comment on my favorite blogger’s blogs, will they take the time to visit mine? Man, I hope so. Will they do so if I offer a cash reward?"

I will always read / visit this blog....NO CASH required.

Michael C said...

Odat: Check's in the mail!

CS: I just gave my last check to Odat...

Katherine: I'm broke...

Anon: I fear I have touched a nerve here.

Anon: I LOVE the Chipmunks Christmas songs. Sorry. Seriously, all Alvin wanted was a hula hoop.

Bran: Just for that, I shall take you up on your techno-offer!

Tink: I'll find the time. I promise!

Mrs4444: Welcome and yes, she was GREAT. She gets lots of airplay this time of year, which is well deserved!

Meleah: You are too kind. And for that, I should pay you, but I spent all my money on the first few commenters ;-)

abbersnail said...

Ooooh, Clay. Romance me with your voice!

I'm kidding. Actually, I think he kind of *resembles* one of the chipmunks.

I kind of hate him, truth be told. Maybe anonymous is going to come and chastise me now?

Odat said...

How much????? Yay!!! More Christmas presents!!!
Thanks, pal.... ;-)
Peace

kat said...

Oh my god you are so funny. I don't even know where to start. My favorite - I think - was the fact that you referenced that dreadful commercial of the secretary and the coffee. TOO FUNNY.

And ps - there is nothing wrong with looking at The Strike as An Opportunity.

FRIGGA said...

Okay, that last one made me laugh. And yes, I'll come visit your blog even if you don't make it to mine. I just don't seem to make it here every day, so in stead I comment blast you once every week or so. :) Oh ya, and the writers strike - I'm very happy about it, they don't write very good stuff anyway, there are exceptions to this, but the vast vast large huge portion of what they write is complete garbage. Just my 2 cents there ;-)