It’s That’s What She Said Day, I Say.

Well, ok, Brandy and I have declared it to be TWSS Day. Since the day incorporates bloggers from both the US and Canada, I guess it’s an international day. The use of TWSS has really taken off thanks to Michael Scott of The Office. It’s something I can remember saying as kid, but then I said a lot of things when I was a kid like ‘awesome,’ ‘gnarly,’ ‘totally awesome’ and ‘scrumptious’ (although I think I only said that one once…I got some stares, felt uncomfortable and removed it from my vocabulary forever).

Since it’s International TWSS Day, I thought I would take the time to inform you about how and how not to use such a powerful phrase. Having the ability to say TWSS is an amazing responsibility because if done correctly, you are guaranteed laughs. And these aren’t just ‘being polite to a strange foreigner who speaks another language’ laughs, these are strong, forceful laughs that can only come when witnessing someone on the receiving end of physical pain (especially in the Manitalia area) or when you hear something dirty (which since I am not podcasting right now, should be said long and drawn out as if Austin Powers was saying it – dirrrrteeeee).

Once you have mastered the use of TWSS, you will notice that your quality of life improves dramatically. People will begin saying TWSS and then suggest TWSS lines to you, as well as think you are the funniest person they know. Now granted, there is more to life than being funny…wait…no there isn’t. Think of all the doors you can unlock by being funny. Well, you can’t unlock any doors, but I am speaking metaphorically of course, which I find is much easier than speaking in, oh let’s say iambic pentameter. Sometimes I speak in pirate-ese, but that’s a whole different issue, matey. Arrrrrr. Sorry.

OK, enough of the benefits of TWSS. Now let’s get to the meat (TWSS) and potatoes of the issue. Below is a list of the incorrect ways to use TWSS and that is followed by the correct uses of it. Just remember, I am giving you the keys to a lot of power here, so use it responsibly and have fun. Definitely worry more about the fun part than the responsible part because I find that being responsible rarely leads to having fun. Unless you are a nun. Then it’s more like a ‘habit.’ Sorry, couldn’t resist…

The INCORRECT uses Of That’s What She Said:

I can’t believe she’s dead. I never got to know her (Actually, this would be a great use for TWSS, except you could only say something like this when someone has died and I’m pretty sure it’s still not funny to laugh at death, although seriously, who didn’t let out a little chuckle when the Wicked Witch yelled out ‘I’m melting.’)

Don’t go in to see the boss this morning, she really blew her top (Ok, again while I intended this to be an incorrect use of TWSS, anytime you hear the word blow or a derivative of, it’s a great time to use it).

I have been stricken with a horrible disease (sorta speaks for itself I think).

It is now 12 o’clock (I gotta admit, if you can use TWSS here, you should be writing this tutorial).

I’m spent (hmmmmm, another toughie. This one could go either way).

I need to get out the hose to water the lawn (actually, I’m still giggling at this one).

And now the CORRECT uses of That’s What She Said:

She told me to remove that immediately (this one is golden. If you ever hear it, first hug the person who said it and thank them for setting you up perfectly).

I just couldn’t get up this morning (you know you are in the zone whenever you can use the words get and up in the same sentence).

She told me she likes it (do I really have to explain why this one is so good??).

I need to sharpen my pencil (hehehehehehehehe)

You are amazing (this one fits into the ‘compliment’ category of TWSS).

Ok, I hope that helps. Basically, if you say ANYTHING that can be considered dirty (do you remember how to pronounce it?), you have walked into a perfect TWSS moment. However, there are times where even though you have been given a golden TWSS opportunity, you still should not say it. These times include moments when you may be in church, around an HR representative for your company, around children (trust me, I made that mistake twice already) or possibly on your deathbed, but I guess that last one really depends on how you want to be remembered. To be honest and if given a choice, I just might have that be the last thing I ever say.

So, good luck, enjoy and Happy International That’s What She Said Day! Now, I am off to try to publish this informative instructional bogus article in Wikipedia. I’m really excited about it…and that’s what she said.