Friday, November 09, 2007

A Bullet A Day…

As the random thoughts begin to build up in the head, one of two things can happen. You can internalize them and eventually forget them, you can keep adding to them so you are replacing the ones you’ve forgotten about or you can share them with other people and call it a blog post. Wait, that’s three, isn’t it? See what happens when the randomicity builds up?

So, I guess it’s time to commit them to paper and call it a blog post. Unfortunately, I have already internalized last’s week’s list of random things and they have all been forgotten. Perhaps it’s better that way as it gives people less to hold against me if they are ever looking for dirt. And here we go…

* Is it really a bad thing when the manufacturer of a drug for constipation lists diarrhea as a possible side effect? Isn’t that more or less the goal of the med to begin with?

* Do student drivers REALLY learn how to drive in true traffic conditions when driving a car with huge ‘student driver’ signs all around it and the hazard lights on while riding the brakes? Judging by the degree of caution with which everyone was driving around her, I’m really guessing not.

* Taking fashion advice from a 5-year old wearing a feather boa, pink tights and brown cowboy boots is never a good idea, especially when it is fashion advice about ‘office clothes.’

* Why do I keep buying all of Garth Brooks’ ‘new’ CDs when they all contain the same old material? I mean I’m now starting to sing ‘I’ve got friends in OLD places…’

* Why do I get hungry when I get bored? Why can’t I get the irresistible urge to exercise or something like that?

* If you EVER spill something in your lap at work, be careful how much you clarify that you actually spilled something. Saying it too many times gets people suspicious as to what you are hiding.

* ‘We’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there’ is a VERY underutilized business catch phrase, especially when associated with discussing progress towards sales goals.

* For a fun time at work, sit at your desk in front of your computer keyboard and sway quickly from side to side like Ray Charles used to. Then, when someone asks what you are doing, in a laid back voice just tell them that ‘I’m really feelin’ the work today baby’ and follow it by leaning back, clapping, kicking one leg in the air and laughing. I’m mean not that I’ve done this or anything. I’m just sayin’…

17 comments:

A Life Uncommon said...

Did you listen to Garth's NEW song though... that one that goes "when your dialing six numbers just to hang up the phone... driving 'cross town just to see if she's home..." Oh now I think I've got the title... is it More Than A Memory? ANYway, I love it. ;)

Michael C said...

A Life Uncommon: Yes, that is a great song and I turn it up everytime my LA country station plays it, which is pretty often. ;-)

AndreAnna said...

Bullet copier!!!

I think you shoud spill stuff on your pants and NOT explain; that would be funnier.

Patti said...

Your randomicity never ceases to amaze me, Michael.

I think most of us turn to food when we're bored!

I like the Ray Charles idea for work. I guess you have done this... ;-)

Franki said...

Why can't I get the irresistible urge to eat broccoli instead of sour cream -n-onion potato chips?

Why?

Valerie said...

I just thank God that there is no vending machine in my office. We have to walk to the quickie to get snacks. I like to think the walking almost cancels out the 99 cent BIG GRAB of Doritos I scarf down in ten seconds.

Carrie said...

Can't say I've ever swayed while behind my desk, but spinning in your chair is also a great time-waster!

Carrie said...

Can't say I've ever swayed while behind my desk, but spinning in your chair is also a great time-waster!

Beth said...

This is better than Deep Thoughts with Jack Handy! These are all very important things to consider.

"We've got a long way to go and a short time to get there" always reminds me of Smokey and the Bandit. Great-now I've got the theme song stuck in my head.

Question: Do you wear sunglasses when you do the Ray Charles bit?

La Sapphire Fliteur said...

Yeah sounds like an excellent plan. I sually just thrw my pens arond into the next cubicle, but collegues are no longer shocked by this behaviour.

Open Grove Claudia said...

I'd write something original but your bullets have replaced all the thoughts in my head! :)

Odat said...

I love the last one...I think I'll try that Monday!! lol.
Peace

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Drug company blurbs are written by morons. An Alzheimer medication comes with the cautionary statement that a possible side effect is confusion.

Oh, great. Just what you want it to do.

meleah rebeccah said...

"You can internalize them and eventually forget them, you can keep adding to them so you are replacing the ones you’ve forgotten about"

That happens to me EVERY DAY. Then I wonder whenI get home why I have nothing to write about.

"* Taking fashion advice from a 5-year old wearing a feather boa, pink tights and brown cowboy boots is never a good idea, especially when it is fashion advice about ‘office clothes.’"

I disagree. The fact that she was wearing a feather boa speaks volumes abut her FABULOUS fashion sense.

"We’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there’"

Thats What She Said.

kat said...

I wasn't a huge fan of office work when I was in the corporate world but I feel like you would make work so much fun. Your co-workers must really love having you there.

VE said...

Maybe we should put side effect warnings on people that cannot shut up. You know: warning...diarrhia

FRIGGA said...

So, what else are you hiding?