Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason it never makes me look good. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 7/29/07-8/4/07.
! I learned that having Lucy and Ethel walk on my back helps make my lower back feel much better. It’s their unexpected running across the room to jump onto my back that I did not anticipate. This quickly removed all the healing benefits of having them walk on it just minutes before.
! I learned that tossing Lucy and Ethel’s toasted frozen waffles to them like a Frisbee when they are cooked was probably not the best way to give them their food, especially when they started flipping them back to me. Sadly, their aim is not yet as good as mine.
! I learned the answer to the age old question ‘if an employee walks into a filing cabinet in an empty hallway, will anyone hear or see it?’ The answer is a most resounding yes. Not only will they hear and see it, the will tell others and remind you of it for the remainder of the day.
! I learned that I may have a slight issue or even obsession when I spent an entire lunch with my coworkers defending Tina Fey’s honor. How can they all be so blind!!
! I learned that an unwatched pot will indeed boil. In fact, it will boil over and make an awful mess. I also learned that while cleaning up this very same mess that an unwatched cut of meat on the grill will burn and become suitable only for beef jerky. The remedy for all of this is McDonalds of course…
! I learned that as a daddy, there is nothing wrong with dancing in front of the TV to the Wiggles. That being said, there is apparently something wrong with it when I am dancing to the Wiggles and the twins are not around. It’s also a little difficult to explain when I’m caught doing so.