Sunday, August 05, 2007

Sunday Meme: The Alumni Newsletter One

AndreAnna, the Dean of Cool New Words (and giver of really cool blog banners), recently tagged me with a pretty cool meme. Well, that is if I do it correctly - I’m still a little unsure. Here are the rules: ‘First write a nauseatingly perky paragraph about your life, the type of paragraph you see in alumni newsletters. Then write a franker, funnier one.’

Well, since I spent about 7 years doing PR, I feel I can make anything seem positive or more important than it really is. Heck, I got a lice shampoo pretty decent media coverage once! Unfortunately, they paid me with a year’s supply. Know anybody with head lice?

Ok, here’s the perky one:

Michael is currently employed with a well-respected company in Southern California. He holds a position of authority and is highly thought of for his leadership ability both in and out of the office. He is the father to two adorable soon to be 5-year old identical twin daughters and credits their enthusiasm as keeping him young and healthy. Michael’s hobbies include writing, cooking and various sporting and outdoor activities. He hopes to retire in a small New England town after many satisfying years with his current employer.

Now, here’s the more realistic version…

Michael is currently employed. The company is in Southern California, but he did not wish to elaborate. In fact, he threatened us when we asked him to. Aside from being able to answer the phone or take restroom breaks whenever he wishes, Michael has no real authority. Michael is somewhat respected by a few of his coworkers because of the pranks he has been able to think of and successfully execute upon the few coworkers that do not somewhat respect him. He has two daughters that look exactly alike and while he adores them, they do tend to drive him insane and make him clutch his chest a lot. Michael’s hobbies include reading what other people write and watching television shows about cooking or sports. He would like to retire tomorrow and escape move to New England, but has not saved up enough money.

I hope I did this correctly. It’s a lot of fun and I tag anyone who wishes to try it. Or for that matter, anyone who wishes NOT to. Have fun and let me know when yours is completed.

****Reminder that Q & A Tuesday is around the corner. Remember to get your questions in. You can ask me anything, geography, science, politics, food, just ask away.****


Airam said...

Seriously all you needed to write for the perky one was that you live in the land of beer. I think that would get eveyone's attention!

Odat said...

LOL You're such the goof!

AndreAnna said...

You did this really well!! It was so funny!

And if you ever save enough to come to New England, stop by NJ and we'll all go to The Melting Pot! ;)

Violet said...

That was very funny. It must be really handy having that PR experience...

Patti said...

You are one funny dude. There is definitely a humor book in your future.

I am startled that you would want to escape to New England. We don't eat lobster every day, you know. ;-)

Usually people want to follow the sun and move to a sunny clime, like where you are for instance!

Michael C said...

Airam: Yes, you are probably right. I think I need to get you a Corona t-shirt ;-)

Odat: It's my thing ;-)

AA: I did do it right? Cool. You know, I'm almost tempted just to save the money to flight to the Melting Pot and then fly back home. It WOULD be worth it!!!

Violet: At times it is. At other times it's a curse. Ok, I made the curse part up...

Patti: I've had my fun in the sun. It's time to commune with lobsters!! ;-)

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

Here's my Q: Does your title banner mean you are a basket case? And what IS a basket case anyway?

Michael C said...

Pawlie: very good! I'll have to ponder that a while.

ian said...

Dude, this sounds like a fun meme. I'm going to add it into the queue.

And here's my question: Will you read my book and review it on your blog?

And here's one far less self-serving: What three foods will you eat until you're full up to the esophagus regardless of doctor's orders?


phishez_rule said...

I stole it. Thanks. I needed something to blog about tonight. That was kinda a hard one to do.

Crashdummie said...

land of beer? Like Duff-land?


Michael C said...

Ian: Yes, I can do that!!! I'm a slow reader though ;-)

Phishez: Steal away!!!

Crash: I thought Duffland was an amusement park ;-)

Mother Hoodwink said...

I want to one day move to New England too. I've never even been there but it always looks like a nice place to live in the movies.

Anonymous said...

Hi again Michael,

Just wanted to remind you that today is the last day of voting for Bestest Blog of the Year, and there are definitely still quite a few blogs within striking distance for the fame and glory (and $50 cash prize!).

EXCLUSIVE results will be featured on my new (and improved!) blog,, 8AM EST on Tuesday morning. Voting for new "Best Blog of the Days" has already begun and the first winner (based entirely on your votes) will be picked Wednesday (and every) morning at 8AM (again at Bestest Blog). Get in the running by joining the Blankest Blank Blog Directory...over 100 have already, and we haven't even handed out any awards yet!!

We'll also be having daily results (again based on your nominations and votes) for Funniest Video, Funniest Picture, Funniest Joke, and Most Fun Game every day at 10AM, 12PM, 2PM, and 4PM respectively.

I hope you'll stop by and leave a comment some time, we've got lots of exciting stuff on the horizon!

CS said...

This is great! My Mom and I like to write (out loud, not actually comit to paper) a more realistic Christmas letter. Detalining every bit of humiliation or misery expereinced by the family that year. It's great fun and I wish I had the courage to actually send them out.

brandy said...

I like this. I like it so much I'm going to steal it. Mwhahahaha! (and yes, that is my "evil and stealing your stuff" laugh)

brandy said...

Your questions! I almost forgot!

1. What Disney character do you most relate to?

2. If you could outlaw one person and force them to live the rest of their days in a cave, hidden deep in the desert, who would it be and why?

3. What's love got to do with it?

4. Would you rather fight a really angry Kenny Rogers or a bobcat?

5. If the presidential election was today, who would you vote for- and why?

Erica AP said...

Where in New England do you want to retire too?

meleah rebeccah said...

That was kick ass. Great job on BOTH.

I loved "Aside from being able to answer the phone or take restroom breaks whenever he wishes, Michael has no real authority."


I can RELATE to that one!

(ps.. love the banner/header on your blog)

Airam said...

If there's one thing about your past that you could change, would you? Why or why not?

Heart Of Darkness said...

Haha, aren't you cute????

It's like the sentence where you are to put out punctuation yourself:


The male punctulation:
Woman, without her man, is nothing

Female punctuation:
Woman! Withour her, man is nothing

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

Hmmm. Heart of Darkness spurs a question all its own. Michael, which is your favorite mark of punctuation? And which is your least favorite punctuation mark?!;:',....;"

Tammie Jean said...

Great job on the meme - your paragraphs are perfect!

The Exception said...

That was truly cute and funny.

My questions - if you could have any job in the world, money is not an issue, what would that job be?

Secondly, my 7 year old recently asked "What is sex?" My question, how will you answer "What is sex?" when posed by one or both of your daughters?

Beth said...

That was great and I'll have to grab this for later this week. Right now, I can't even stomach making up the cheesey annoying one. :)

Leiselb said...

I couldn't make something up that perky if someone gave me a milkshake with caffeine, crack and extra dose of sugar.

I much more relate to the tad more sterile one...;-)

Scottsdale Girl said...

How do you feel about the inappropriate use of
You're, your and yer
Their There and They're.

FRIGGA said...

Okay, I forget, did I already ask you questions for Tuesday?

If you have train A leaving Corona, Ca at 4:20pm and train B leaving Weed, Ca at 3:41pm, train A is going 97 mph & train B is going 73 mph and there's a bee. The bee can fly 159 mph, what time will the bee be crushed?

FRIGGA said...

Oh, and I posted the results for the TT13 the Food Edition :-0

Michael C said...

Mother: Don;t always believe the movies -- they make SO Cal look like a nice place too ;-)

Bobby: Will do!

CS: There in nothing more fun that fake Christmas letters! I posted one here last year ;-)

Bran: Steal away, I stole it from AndreAnna. Wow, do you questions keep getting tougher and tougher!

EricaAP: Somewhere in Maine, that serves lobster. I don't plan on being too picky.

Meleah: I'm sorry you can relate, but glad you understand! ;-)

Heart: Is the cute part a question for Q and A Tuesday?? I have my own personal opinion ;-)

Pawlie: Now that's a deep Q!!!

Tammie: Thanks!!

The Exception: One I can answer easily. The other, uh, not so easily ;-)

Beth: Lemme know when you try this one!!

LeiselB: You just described the PERFECT drink to get me through the workday! Thanks!! ;-)

Scottsdale: Hmmmmmm, Yer question is very good!!

Frigga: This one WILL make my head explode ;-)

Odat said...

My question: Is it too late to ask a question?

Terrie said...

Made me smile this one and something I could definitely relate to so used the idea on my blog linking back to you. Thanks. Hope the perky one is really the more realistic one for you.

kat said...

Hahaha! Yay! I've missed your blog. Love the bio. I'm off to read your other entries now.