Top Ten (And A Half) Things Overheard At NASA In The Wake Of The Female Astronaut Scandal

Inspired by David Letterman’s 25th anniversary on late night TV, I have decided to post a Top Ten and a Half List every Friday. Why ten and a half? Because I don’t want to be accused of stealing a great idea, of course…


So, here are the top ten (and a half) things overheard at NASA in the wake of the female astronaut scandal:

11. Oh Sputnik! This never happens to the Russians.

10. I didn’t see that coming when we chose the $25 special background check/physiological assessment combo.

9. Anyone here think John Glenn is available?

8. I hear E! is going to start a new reality show called ‘Ass-Tronauts: Behind the Launchpad.’

7. You mean to tell me we’ve been spending millions of dollars to figure out how to go to the bathroom in space and our astronauts can still fit into Huggies?

6. Abort! Abort! Reentry denied! Reentry denied!

5. Hold on, this could be the best press we’ve had in 10 years.

4. (To the tune of the Love Boat): The Love Shuttle, shining and new. Come aboard, you can date the crew…

3. When you look back, I guess the writing was on the wall when she beat up that NASA engineer when he took the last Snickers Bar out of the vending machine in the astronauts lounge.

2. Lt. Uhura never tried a stunt like this.

And the number one thing overheard at NASA in the wake of the female astronaut scandal…

1. Houston, we’ve got a…

Now for the housekeeping stuff. This will me my last post until probably Tuesday evening. It’s vacation time for a few days and it’s long overdue, especially when my best post this week was about a bionic President.