Things I Learned This Week: 2/25/07
Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday (except for this weekend obviously). It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason, always makes me look pathetic. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 2/18/07-2/25/07.
! I learned that even though I spent a day at the racetrack, there is no excuse for me not blogging no matter how late I get home. The guilt isn’t worth it.
! I learned that when I think there is only the slightest possibility that I might receive my annual employee review, I should not wear a Hawaiian shirt to work, especially when I haven’t shaved in 6 days.
! I learned that when I give Lucy and Ethel bike helmets to wear when they ride their motorized three wheel bikes, it only encourages their reckless behavior.
! I learned that just as soon as I get the yards looking green, lush and beautiful, the gophers will remember how to get back to my house and bring several friends.
! I learned that I should not go for frozen yogurt in the middle of the afternoon and bring it back to finish in my office unless I brought some back for everybody.
! I learned that I should not spend almost 5 hours of my Sunday ignoring my family while watching the Daytona 500 and then as soon as that ends head upstairs to watch the NBA All-Star Game for the next 3 hours. Geesh, whatever happened to being the King of the castle?
And lastly,
! I learned that I will never again enjoy a snack peacefully as long as Lucy and Ethel are around. It turns out that constant repetition of the phrase ‘Can I have a bite, can I have a bite, can I, Can I?’ in stereo is actually a great dietary aid.
! I learned that when I think there is only the slightest possibility that I might receive my annual employee review, I should not wear a Hawaiian shirt to work, especially when I haven’t shaved in 6 days.
! I learned that when I give Lucy and Ethel bike helmets to wear when they ride their motorized three wheel bikes, it only encourages their reckless behavior.
! I learned that just as soon as I get the yards looking green, lush and beautiful, the gophers will remember how to get back to my house and bring several friends.
! I learned that I should not go for frozen yogurt in the middle of the afternoon and bring it back to finish in my office unless I brought some back for everybody.
! I learned that I should not spend almost 5 hours of my Sunday ignoring my family while watching the Daytona 500 and then as soon as that ends head upstairs to watch the NBA All-Star Game for the next 3 hours. Geesh, whatever happened to being the King of the castle?
And lastly,
! I learned that I will never again enjoy a snack peacefully as long as Lucy and Ethel are around. It turns out that constant repetition of the phrase ‘Can I have a bite, can I have a bite, can I, Can I?’ in stereo is actually a great dietary aid.
8 comments:
That last one we can identify with. I'd hoped it would motivate us parents to at least snack healthily, but alas I fear that our daughter's simply developing a taste for junk food.
thanks for the info michael. i always learn so much when i visit here..... ha ha ha
smiles, bee
Gophers? Like, real live gophers? We have everything here but gophers.
Certainly can relate to the first one..hehe but I hope you won at the track...
The twins will keep you skinny!!!
(sounds like a good title for a book huh?)
Peace
Wait Wait gopfer are a real animal not just a puppet?
- why is it as soon as you cut the lawn the slugs come visiting?
See, but then you have a lawn that's kush and green AND hilly. The gophers are a bonus.
"I learned that I should not spend almost 5 hours of my Sunday ignoring my family while watching the Daytona 500 and then as soon as that ends head upstairs to watch the NBA All-Star Game for the next 3 hours".
How many times did you have to write that on the black board?
Effing gophers. They're terrible around here.
Happy Inappropriate Card Day!
Post a Comment