You Sure Look Trustworthy…And Familiar

The AP reports that a Helsinki software company has created a unique website that might help make their upcoming March parliamentary elections easier. To showcase its software, visitors to a website can upload their photo and match it to the candidate that most looks like them. The story that says there is a belief that voters will choose candidates that have the same features as they do. It sure beats deciding who is the best or worst mudslinger or who you think lies the least, doesn’t it?

With our Presidential election already under way, it would be fun to use the same software for 2008. Putting politics aside, I’m sure there are plenty of women and men that resemble Hillary Clinton. I know it’s wrong, it’s just the way I see it. To send hate mail, my email address is to the right. I also think it’s a safe bet to say that if this software had been around in the 60s that both Lyndon Johnson and Richard Nixon would not have been elected. I’ve certainly never seen anyone that shares similar features with them. Have you?

If this software were implemented for 2008, I can pretty much assure you what our next President would look like. Since at least 70% of the men over the age of 55 in this country look one particular way, without a doubt, our next President would look like Kenny Rogers. You see men everywhere who look like him. I am obviously talking of the pre-plastic surgery ‘Gambler’ Kenny. Stop and think for a minute how often in a day you see a gray-haired middle-aged man with a beard. OK, just trust me. Once you really start looking for them, then I assure you it seems like they are everywhere. Now that you are thinking about it, I’m sure you’ll see someone tomorrow who looks like him. If not, just humor me.

If we voted for a President because the candidate looked like us, think about how easy it would be to get employment in their cabinet. Saddam Hussein hired people that looked like him all the time. It has long been believed that many public appearances of the late dictator weren’t actually by him but by his doubles. Of course, his doubles didn’t help much when it came time to give himself up, but that’s another story. By the way, I’ve been trying to work the phrase ‘Husseined’ (as in I just got Husseined at work or the Clippers really ‘Husseined’ the Bobcats last night) into my lexicon. What do you think?

So many things are chalked up to looks these days. The longest lasting memory of a debate between Kennedy and Nixon was how sweaty and unflattering Nixon looked on TV compared to Kennedy. Since image is everything, why not personalize it and be a little selfish by finding the candidate that best resembles us? But then again, we could elect someone who is funny looking as our next Commander In Chief. Then, no matter how bad the news is that he needs to deliver, at least we’ll all feel like laughing…