Friday, February 09, 2007

Top Ten (And A Half) Things Overheard At NASA In The Wake Of The Female Astronaut Scandal

Inspired by David Letterman’s 25th anniversary on late night TV, I have decided to post a Top Ten and a Half List every Friday. Why ten and a half? Because I don’t want to be accused of stealing a great idea, of course…


So, here are the top ten (and a half) things overheard at NASA in the wake of the female astronaut scandal:

11. Oh Sputnik! This never happens to the Russians.

10. I didn’t see that coming when we chose the $25 special background check/physiological assessment combo.

9. Anyone here think John Glenn is available?

8. I hear E! is going to start a new reality show called ‘Ass-Tronauts: Behind the Launchpad.’

7. You mean to tell me we’ve been spending millions of dollars to figure out how to go to the bathroom in space and our astronauts can still fit into Huggies?

6. Abort! Abort! Reentry denied! Reentry denied!

5. Hold on, this could be the best press we’ve had in 10 years.

4. (To the tune of the Love Boat): The Love Shuttle, shining and new. Come aboard, you can date the crew…

3. When you look back, I guess the writing was on the wall when she beat up that NASA engineer when he took the last Snickers Bar out of the vending machine in the astronauts lounge.

2. Lt. Uhura never tried a stunt like this.

And the number one thing overheard at NASA in the wake of the female astronaut scandal…

1. Houston, we’ve got a…

Now for the housekeeping stuff. This will me my last post until probably Tuesday evening. It’s vacation time for a few days and it’s long overdue, especially when my best post this week was about a bionic President.

18 comments:

James Burnett said...

have fun on vacation. and i guess the answer to #1 is "Houston we have an astro-nut!"

Odat said...

Ya know No. 6 can have a double meaning????? hehe
Peace....
Have a great few days off...hope they're all FUNDAYS!!!

Abigail S said...

I guess I'm just out of touch- what scandal was this?

Have a great break! Relaxation is key to survival!

captain corky said...

Great Pic! Enjoy your vacation.

lizza said...

Laughed out loud at #6!

Have a wonderful break, Michael. Looking forward to your return.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

i still think it's that whole three hundred mile club thingy.

and have fun michael! hurry back, we'll be waiting right here....

smiles, bee

Pickled Olives said...

Thaks for the top 10. Great list. Enjoy your Vacation.

thethinker said...

Have a great time on vacation!

Dan said...

I hear E! is going to start a new reality show called ‘Ass-Tronauts: Behind the Launchpad.’

I'd definitely watch it! :) Very funny post Michael!

Irene said...

Amusing list! David Letterman would be proud. =)

Have a relaxing, reinvigorating vacation, Michael! The loony mom misses you already. :p

Violet said...

I have no idea what the scandal is either - was she caught between the sheets with fellow astronauts or something?

Lee said...

How about, "Can you beleive that girl stole office supplies?" (the daipers)

Have a great vacation!

C said...

This woman really reached the outer limits. Hey new reality TV series on the rise.

SGT DUB said...

Number 7 was great, whole list was good, keep it up.

Dr. Blogstein said...

well done, buddy.

mist1 said...

#2 is killing me.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Great list, Michael. Have a good vacation. Don't forget to pack the diapers or you'll be stopping at every rest stop.

ShadowFalcon said...

Have fun on holiday. To think I wanted to be an astronaut....