Oh Shoot! It’s Valentines Day!

Nah, I’m just kidding, I knew it was coming and am prepared. After all, if you’ve been to any retail store since the day after Christmas then you already knew Valentines was on its way. My guess is that the spring and/or summer stuff will be put out tonight (whew, I can finally get my new garden gnomes, bug zapper and watering cans themed with ladybugs or flowers). You truly have to love Valentines Day. There are not many days on our calendar that are actually designated to show our love for that special person in our lives, or to feel the pressure to find one if we don’t have anybody. Just because it says so on our calendars, Daytimers and Palm Pilots we get all prettied up, buy flowers and chocolates and try to make our lovers swoon. I have to admit that I feel a little like Forrest Gump on his bus bench. That’s all I have to say about that.

Everyone has gotten into the spirit of cupid this year (not many know it, but the Spirit of Cupid was actually the name of Charles Lindbergh’s first plane). While at Target the other day I came across a ‘new’ collection of Sinatra music called ‘Romance – Songs from the Heart.’ Predictably, it was all love songs, including ‘In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning.’ What is funny though is that if you are familiar with that tune, it’s about heartbreak and losing a lover. That certainly smacks of Valentines romance to me!

All over the country, people will be eating romantic dinners in or out tonight (geez, there’s a definitive statement). I guesstimate that Dean Martin’s Volare will be heard about 8,000 times at Italian eateries everywhere, whereas ACDC’s ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’ will probably be shelved for the evening. Perhaps more candles will be burned tonight than any other day with the exception of Christmas Eve (or a major metropolitan power outage). We are getting into the celebration as we have a romantic dinner planned for two adults and two children at our favorite Italian Restaurant. If we’re lucky, Lucy and Ethel will actually consent to sitting next to each other (and not fight) so that I can sit next to my wife for a change during dinner this year. When it comes to the meal itself, there’s nothing like consuming lots of garlic-accentuated pasta on the most romantic night of the year. You just need to be careful not to speak in attractive breathy tones or long drawn out syllables after eating all that garlic. That my friend is a definite mood killer. I’ll spare you my pasta/body odor dissertation for now…

Despite the feeling of love in the air, it’s still easy to do something wrong tonight. I can offer some tips on things not to do. For instance, never look at your love one and question the portion size of what they are ordering or suggest that maybe they don’t really need dessert this year. Never point out how nice someone else looks when they walk by. May I also suggest that any phrase that starts with ‘you know, I was going to get you flowers tonight, but…’ should never under any circumstances be uttered. No matter how tempting or funny it may be, stay away from the humorous Valentines Day cards. I personally make this mistake every year and actually repeated it again this year now that I think about it.

I made my own Valentines mistake earlier today at work. When I over heard female coworker tell someone on the phone ‘well, try to have a decent day,’ I mentioned to her and the rest of the office that what she just said was a lovely Valentines wish. After everyone in the office chuckled, she gave me a dirty look and told me that the person on the phone was going to a funeral. Oops. All I could say after that was, ‘at least they’ll get flowers today…’