Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Oh Shoot! It’s Valentines Day!

Nah, I’m just kidding, I knew it was coming and am prepared. After all, if you’ve been to any retail store since the day after Christmas then you already knew Valentines was on its way. My guess is that the spring and/or summer stuff will be put out tonight (whew, I can finally get my new garden gnomes, bug zapper and watering cans themed with ladybugs or flowers). You truly have to love Valentines Day. There are not many days on our calendar that are actually designated to show our love for that special person in our lives, or to feel the pressure to find one if we don’t have anybody. Just because it says so on our calendars, Daytimers and Palm Pilots we get all prettied up, buy flowers and chocolates and try to make our lovers swoon. I have to admit that I feel a little like Forrest Gump on his bus bench. That’s all I have to say about that.

Everyone has gotten into the spirit of cupid this year (not many know it, but the Spirit of Cupid was actually the name of Charles Lindbergh’s first plane). While at Target the other day I came across a ‘new’ collection of Sinatra music called ‘Romance – Songs from the Heart.’ Predictably, it was all love songs, including ‘In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning.’ What is funny though is that if you are familiar with that tune, it’s about heartbreak and losing a lover. That certainly smacks of Valentines romance to me!

All over the country, people will be eating romantic dinners in or out tonight (geez, there’s a definitive statement). I guesstimate that Dean Martin’s Volare will be heard about 8,000 times at Italian eateries everywhere, whereas ACDC’s ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’ will probably be shelved for the evening. Perhaps more candles will be burned tonight than any other day with the exception of Christmas Eve (or a major metropolitan power outage). We are getting into the celebration as we have a romantic dinner planned for two adults and two children at our favorite Italian Restaurant. If we’re lucky, Lucy and Ethel will actually consent to sitting next to each other (and not fight) so that I can sit next to my wife for a change during dinner this year. When it comes to the meal itself, there’s nothing like consuming lots of garlic-accentuated pasta on the most romantic night of the year. You just need to be careful not to speak in attractive breathy tones or long drawn out syllables after eating all that garlic. That my friend is a definite mood killer. I’ll spare you my pasta/body odor dissertation for now…

Despite the feeling of love in the air, it’s still easy to do something wrong tonight. I can offer some tips on things not to do. For instance, never look at your love one and question the portion size of what they are ordering or suggest that maybe they don’t really need dessert this year. Never point out how nice someone else looks when they walk by. May I also suggest that any phrase that starts with ‘you know, I was going to get you flowers tonight, but…’ should never under any circumstances be uttered. No matter how tempting or funny it may be, stay away from the humorous Valentines Day cards. I personally make this mistake every year and actually repeated it again this year now that I think about it.

I made my own Valentines mistake earlier today at work. When I over heard female coworker tell someone on the phone ‘well, try to have a decent day,’ I mentioned to her and the rest of the office that what she just said was a lovely Valentines wish. After everyone in the office chuckled, she gave me a dirty look and told me that the person on the phone was going to a funeral. Oops. All I could say after that was, ‘at least they’ll get flowers today…’

12 comments:

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

My Valentine's Day was a bummer. My wife had to work late till midnite and I went to visit a friend, a nice elderly lady who had the misfortune of having all the toes on her left foot amputated. At work, I discovered someone wrote a poison pen letter about me. Cupid was definately not spotted in my neck of the woods.

Hope your well laid plans fared much better.

Odat said...

I made no mistakes today...lol.
HVD Michael.
Peace

Odat said...

P.S. That pic is awful...!!!
lol

Abigail S said...

Yeah, I sort of agree w/ odat...

That pic is scary/funny! Not sure yet which I feel stronger...

"at least they'll get flowers?! What a thing to say!

Michael C said...

Lone Grey: Sorry, maybe you can have a special night tomorrow to make up for it.

Odat: I guess deep down, awful was what I was going for ;-)

Abigail: People have called me a lot of things, but trust me when I say that 'smart' was never one of them.
;-)

Lizza said...

That pic is so romantic. ;-)

Pasta...yum! Learning to accept garlicky breath is an achievement of sorts, lol.

captain corky said...

That pic is brilliantly placed, disturbing and grotesque. Is that a Cow's heart?

CSL said...

I kind of like the picture. Grotesque, but also funny. My younger son was writing out a Valentine's Day card for his teacher and asked if I knew any Valentine's poems. I said, "How about 'Roses are red, violets are blue, VD is special and so are you'?" Then I had to reverse myself and tell him he could not write that.

mist1 said...

Crap. I missed Valentine's Day?

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

at least they'll get flowers? that is the funniest thing i have heard today! thanks michael... smiles, bee

dino martin peters said...

Hey pallie, like what better music to listen to on the day of Amore then the King of Amore, DINO!! Never was, never will be anyone as cool as the King of Cool. Oh, to return to the days when Dino walked the earth.

Natalie said...

It's so nice that you bring the kids to dinner. We made oh so romantic black bean enchiladas and guacamole (cause that stuff is good) and then Tony actually sat through Phantom of the Opera with me. Good boy. I did start a sentence with I was going to get you candy but.... It made sense though.