Things I Learned This Week: 2/3/07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason, always makes me look pathetic. I hope that at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 1/28/07-2/3/07.

! I learned that when applying weed killer to the lawns, I need to leave just a little more room around the wife’s rose bushes.

! I learned that my Lucy and Ethel are now old enough to realize I’m after their French fries when I circle them like a hawk while they eat.

! I learned that one of our favorite restaurants has been adding nine cents to the tip total every time we eat there. It doesn’t seem like much until you add it up.

! I learned that Sam’s Club is a great place to get a free meal comprised of every appetizer known to man on the day before the Super Bowl. A little tip though: just don’t try and go back for seconds, they’re pretty particular.

! I learned that I may be a little too out of shape when I pulled a muscle during a tickle fight with the twins.

! I learned that my female coworker finds the phrase ‘If you’ll excuse me, I need to go recycle my can’ offensive. Seriously, that’s all I meant and I can show HR the can if necessary.

And lastly,

! I learned that I had better check whether Lucy and Ethel are wearing their ‘good pants’ or ‘play pants’ before I surprise them with a visit to the park again. Although, I personally find dirt and grass stains to be a wonderful addition to any piece of clothing.