Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason, always makes me look pathetic. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 2/11/07-2/17/07.
! I learned that the words all ‘you can eat buffet’ loosely translated means ‘five extra pounds.’
! I learned that when at a pro sports event and my friend and I are in line in the restroom and he has a large bag of merchandise that he just purchased, I shouldn’t ask him ‘you want a hand with that’ as he’s walking into a stall.
! I learned to make sure I have the house keys with me next time I leave home with Lucy and Ethel after it’s dark out and the weather is freezing cold. If not the keys, then at least a cell phone.
! I learned not to leave the litter box outside to dry for the entire day after cleaning it. Apparently, a cat can only hold it for so long.
! I learned not to drink 5-6 caffeine-loaded beverages prior to making the 3 ½ drive to Las Vegas.
! I learned to check my wife’s jewelry prior to shopping for her Valentine’s Day gift. When she opened the necklace I bought her, which was apparently identical to the one I bought her a few years ago, I’m not sure who was more embarrassed.