Saturday, February 17, 2007

Things I Learned This Week: 2/17/07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason, always makes me look pathetic. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 2/11/07-2/17/07.

! I learned that when male coworker describes female coworker who smokes as ‘the big lady carrying the death stick,’ I’d better take the rest of the day off.

! I learned that the words all ‘you can eat buffet’ loosely translated means ‘five extra pounds.’

! I learned that when at a pro sports event and my friend and I are in line in the restroom and he has a large bag of merchandise that he just purchased, I shouldn’t ask him ‘you want a hand with that’ as he’s walking into a stall.

! I learned to make sure I have the house keys with me next time I leave home with Lucy and Ethel after it’s dark out and the weather is freezing cold. If not the keys, then at least a cell phone.

! I learned not to leave the litter box outside to dry for the entire day after cleaning it. Apparently, a cat can only hold it for so long.

! I learned not to drink 5-6 caffeine-loaded beverages prior to making the 3 ½ drive to Las Vegas.

And lastly,

! I learned to check my wife’s jewelry prior to shopping for her Valentine’s Day gift. When she opened the necklace I bought her, which was apparently identical to the one I bought her a few years ago, I’m not sure who was more embarrassed.


Odat said...

lol at the Valentine's Day least your taste is still the same!!! She could wear two at once now!
(have a wonderful weekend!! Monday is Funday for me!!! Have off! )

Violet said...

That last one - it's not as embarrassing as watching your part-time workmate (whom you don't know well) open up the Secret Santa gift you bought her (some pretty junk jewellery), only to remember later that she's actually a jewellery artist.

Irene said...

Goodness! You really got your wife the same necklace twice? That's too funny!

At least she now has a spare in case she loses the first one. ;p

mist1 said...

I would have loved to seen the bathroom scene on camera.

captain corky said...

Great stuff Michael! I'm writing all of this down.

Josie said...

Michael, you always give me a chuckle. I can identify with at least some of the things on your list. I have a bad habit of "re-gifting" the secret Santa gifts, usually to the person who gave it to me last year.

I feel your pain.


CSL said...

Fun life lessons. And, you're a husband who remembers gifts on Valentines' Day - surely you get some credit for that.