Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Tonight’s Main Event…Is In The Operating Room

This Reuter’s story sounds more like an episode of Scrubs or that serious medical drama with some guy named something like Dr. McDoodle that everyone loves to talk about these days. I think it’s called St. Elsewhere? Seriously, the story was about two professional, by the book doctors in Belgrade who got into a fistfight during an appendix operation. I thought it was called the Hippocratic Oath, not the Hit-ocratic Oath. The fight was a really rough and tumble affair according to the story that reported one doctor pulling the ear and slapping the face of the other. Man, do those Belgradians (or is it just simply people from Belgrade) really know how to fight!

As someone who’s had a few surgeries or so in his day, I would love to have been awake to see it. Do you think the patient was told about the fight that ensued during their operation after awaking from the anesthesia? I vaguely remember signing my life away before being put under but I don’t recall giving the surgeons my OK to go six rounds while my body lay cut open. I guess I would have been fine with it as long as they didn’t bump into my heart/lung bypass machine during the melee.

Once again, I think we’ve accidentally tapped into a great new reality TV series. I’ll give it the working title of Professional Punches until I can think of something better. Wouldn’t it be great to see two lawyers break into fisticuffs during a serious trial? How about seeing members of Congress beating the legislation out of each other? Heck that happens all the time in other countries. I’d suggest postal workers or air traffic controllers fighting one another, but they’ve been pretty well maligned already. Although one of the episodes could involve two brawling airline stewardesses. Oh, never mind, when I stop to really think about it, that would probably fall into an entirely different type of television. I imagine it would most likely be the type of television you have to pay extra for…

Apparently, reports that one of the doctors kept yelling ‘I float like anesthesia and sting like an IV,’ have not been confirmed. Just imagine all of the ‘weapons’ that could be made available to anyone fighting in an operating room. You have to believe that a bedpan to the head would cause some serious pain. Although who’s worried about pain when you could take a shot of morphine and strike back with a scalpel to the arm?

Fortunately, the attending assistant doctor was able to finish the surgery while the fight wrapped up. There is concern though that one of the doctor’s knocked out teeth has still not been found and the patient is complaining of a sharp, almost bite like pain in the abdomen. I’m sure it’s not related though…



** By the way, I need to write this shamless plug for my NASCAR blog. I've toyed with it for a while now and have started trying to devote more time to it again since the new season has started. If you know any NASCAR fans, please feel free to have them stop by**

12 comments:

Palm Springs Savant said...

very clever stuff..it made me chuckle while reading. stop by and say hi sometime

www.rickrockhill.blogspot.com

captain corky said...

Funny post Michael. Unfortunately you're the only Nascar fan I know. Sorry pal.

Odat said...

Oh wow...I can't even imagine if I were the patient....but you have mangaged to make me laugh about it....lol.

Jay said...

I'm really hoping the patient was already sewn back up by the time the fight broke out...

Michael C said...

Palm Springs Savant: Thanks! Welcome back anytime.

Captain Corky: For everyone saying NASCAR is so popular, I rarely find a true fan out here in So Cal, just 15 mins from California Speedway, interestingly enough.

Odat: I'm glad I inspired a laugh. I think someone left a can of cranky in me after my surgery...

Jay: No kidding, talk about the possibility of infections!!

mist1 said...

This, "I float like anesthesia and sting like an IV" is excellent. F*cking excellent.

Michael C said...

Mist1: Thanks, that's the kindest thing I've heard all day, aside from being prescribed more medication by my cardiologist ;-)

Abigail S said...

Wow- that must hurt to have the legislation beat out of you. Ouch! I hurt just thinking about it.

Good thing I'm not in Congress!

Lizza said...

I second Mist1. That line was brilliant.

That hospital should be paying patients to be treated there, not the other way around!

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Tut, tut. They couldn't have been very clever doctors. A bit of cloroform soaked bandages around the fists would have led to a quick KO.

Lee said...

I remember seeing a news clip a few years back of the Taiwanese congress breaking into a huge riot of fist-fighting. Totally cracked me up.

Natalie said...

Maybe more fighting to settle disputes would reduce the amount of gun violence in this country. Bring on the fisticuffs.