Now The News Can Be Entertainment, In Four Part Harmonies

I just finished reading a semi-memoir of Monty Python Eric Idle. In it he talks about his musical
‘Spamalot.’ Now tonight, I read an AP story about how the bride who ran away before her wedding back in 2005 saying that she was abducted is being turned into a rock opera. I’m not big on musicals, but all of this talk has me thinking how easy it would be to turn current events into a musical.

Since I already tried to boldly predict that there would be an Elvis version of Cirque du Soleil called ‘Elvis: How To Waste The Prime Of Your Career Du Soleil,’ I guess the only thing left is to rip ideas for musicals straight from the headlines. Heck, the seventeen Law and Orders do it every night (seemingly on every channel and at every hour). The only question is whether we focus on the serious news or the lighter moments.

After watching the State of the Union address the other night and all of the politicians bobbing up and down, I think a great dancing musical could be done. ‘Songs of The Union’ could be a huge hit. It will feature songs like ‘The Ballad of the Balanced Budget,’ ‘Let’s Ignore the Serious Stuff and Focus on a New Domestic Agenda’ and the torch song classic ‘Shhh Baby, No New Taxes.’

Yes, other countries’ pursuit of nuclear weapons is worrisome, but only if we don’t treat it with song. That’s the premise behind ‘It’s a Blast.’ Imagine twenty singers and hoofers dressed like Kim Jong-Il dancing to the up-tempo number ‘My Finger’s on the Button.’ Global warming is no light issue, unless it’s being told on Broadway and titled ‘Melt.’ Early speculation is that the show’s biggest song; ‘Honey, There’s an Iceberg on the Front Lawn’ could win several Tony Awards. Unfortunately, the big e-coli musical ‘Bacterialistic’ had to be shelved after several of the producers became very ill. The fact that it was going to be a dinner theater production probably didn’t help either.

Granted, it’s still pretty early in 2007, so the inspiration for the next great musical may not have even happened yet. However, I’m putting my money on the musical version of ‘The Apprentice.’ Just tell me you can resist wanting to hear its theme song, ‘You’re Fired!’

You’re fired, you’re fired, just pick up your stuff, you’re fired
Grab a taxi, get on home, blame the others, you’re all alone,
You’re fired, you’re fired…
The Boardroom was a pain, now it’s just your teammate’s gain
You’re fired, you’re fired
It was such a simple task, too bad the other team kicked your
Fired, you’re fired…