Friday, January 05, 2007

It’s Pulled Pork Time In Georgia!

A Georgia resident recently shot an 1100-pound wild hog says the Associated Press. The man shot the animal when he spotted it in a neighbor’s yard. After shooting the hog, he took it to a weight station to see just how big it was. This guy is just like me. Whenever I kill something, my first reaction is to drag it to the closest scale. Unfortunately, flies, mosquitoes and moths don’t weigh that much so the thrill is kind of lacking. Although it’s still not determined whether this hog is the biggest ever found in Georgia, it does weigh a few hundred pounds more than the famous ‘Hogzilla’ that was killed a few years ago. I guess that makes this pig Mothra-hog?

It is now hanging from a tree in the man’s front yard, which is a good thing since houses always seem to look so bare after all the Christmas lights and decorations are taken down. The fact that it’s a dead obese animal and will probably start to have a horrible stench within the next few days is completely irrelevant, of course. I can’t think of a better way to keep those pesky neighborhood kids from running through your lawn than a dead feral pig swaying from a tree.

There is apparently no confirmation yet as to whether or not the hunter will have the hog stuffed and displayed as a trophy. Regardless, taxidermists from Georgia to Florida are probably clearing their calendars for the next week. I imagine that the National Enquirer is already stopping the presses (do they still do that) and readying a story about how the first flying pig has been found after it died in-flight and plunged to the ground. I can see the headline now: “Captured Flying Pig Prompts Scientists to Search For Cows In Lunar Orbit.” Sorry, that was the best I could do. It’s late and the power has gone out here three times tonight due to the wind…

I wonder how feral pork (another great name for a rock band, perhaps) tastes. It’s a good bet that there are a few BBQ joints that wouldn’t mind finding out. You know, I spent most of New Year’s Eve cutting back the peach tree in my backyard so that I could start smoking pork and beef with delicious peach wood. Hey, I’ve got an idea; maybe I could sell the BBQ joints some of my dried peach wood. What did you think I was going to say? After all, I wouldn’t want to take a chance on wild hog meat. Besides, imagine the shipping costs…

20 comments:

Le Nightowl said...

I guess the hog being dead loses some of its feral character :)
An inspired post, Michael, sprinkled with savoury tidbits.
Marie

Meloncutter said...

Ok. It's 5 friggin 30 in the morning and I aint had coffee yet. I have in my freezer, right now, Two shoulders of a feral hog shot in south Georgia by one of my employees. The BBQ is great. And there are still some big ass hogs down there.

I have not myself gone hunting hogs down there, but I do plan to probably this year.

I would like to caution about putting BBQ on your joints. That makes you sound like a redneck when you are stoned. A "Get R Done Man!" said very slowly does not have the desired effect. Plus in your drug induced activities you will wake up the next morning wondering where your car is and why there is a big ass pickup with extremely large tires setting in your driveway.

Later Y'all

Janet C. said...

Oh no was it Miss Piggy? Funny Post.

Odat said...

Ya had to put the Muppet picture up with that??? Geeze...
Hey I don't mind a good pulled pork every now and then (hehe) but I mean really, I love the Muppets! and now i'm gonna think of poor Miss Piggy hanging from peach tree in Georgia...Poor thang!!!

kate said...

"It is now hanging from a tree in the man’s front yard, which is a good thing since houses always seem to look so bare after all the Christmas lights and decorations are taken down. " this bit had me giggling! That and then having to click on 'deep thoughts' to leave this comment! lmao

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

hey! watch it michael! i think that was my cousin. (of course i think everyone in georgia is my cousin) and it scares the bejesus out of me that i know this, but only the females are good to eat. if you don't castrate a male hog when they are little, the meat will taste "strong". and i don't believe many male feral hogs have been castrated. just so you know. now don't tell anyone who told you this cause i have my reputation you know. as am empress. and empresses usually don't know much about hog balls. you know? alrighty then.....bee

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Enjoyed your dissection of the feral pig story. Very funny.

Lone Grey Squirrel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
abbagirl74 said...

Well, after reading Melon's post I was hungry for bacon. Now afer reading your post, I am not. Thanks for helping with losing those few extra pounds I have been messing with.

Aisby said...

Is this a recent article. Because they got Hogzilla down near Valdosta last year (or was it the year before?).
And I just have to add...wild hog does NOT make the best bbq (especially LARGE wild hogs), they're just too "gamey" tasting.

OMG...I'm a REDNECK!!!

Michael C said...

Le Nightowl: Yeah, I think the dead now negates the feral ;-)

Melon: Can you tell I haven't been able to BBQ in a while? My grill is giving me dirty looks because it's been so long!

Janet: I guess ole Kermie had enough of her ;-)(attitude, not meat) ;-)

Odat: Sorry, it was the only pig photo I could think of and it was late...I promise it won't happen again.

Kate: I really should change that. I'm almost at 200 posts and I've probably had 3 that might qualify as something deep ;-)

Lone Grey Squirrel: Thanks for stopping by!

Abbagirl74: You are very welcome!

Aisby: Thanks for the taste tips!! Don't worry, my neck is as red and a Southern Californian's can possibly be!!

Michael C said...

Empress: I saved yours for last, you secret is very safe with me! But nw I'm wondering how you know all about that feral hog anatomy. Another post for another day, I guess ;-)

SGT DUB said...

What's more is that must be a big tree to tie a 1100 lb hog to it, we're talking about a vw bug here, I bet someone is missing his bug right now and finds it in the neighbors tree, hmmmm.

ian said...

You know, in a lot of areas, pulling your pork is considered at least a misdemeanor. Do be cautious...

Ian

Dr. Blogstein said...

I killed a pig once, though in retrospect I should have opted for a divorce.

(kidding, I swear)

Lizza said...

Haha! Another great post, Michael. I hope the BBQ joints snap up your dried peach wood.

Wild boar is a delicacy here. I haven't had any yet, but I heard that it's very tasty and doesn't have as much fat as "regular" pigs.

Morgen said...

Feral Pork And The Big Ass Hogs would be a great name for a band!

I'm sooo glad that I'm having pork roast tonight, after reading this and the Meloncutter's posts today!

Tying in Swine Trek was excellent!

Michael C said...

Sgt Dub: I had not thought about that, but you are absolutely right. We used to pick my old '68 bug up and move it, but never hung it from a tree!

Ian: I will watch where the pork is pulled...

Dr. B.: We know you're kidding, in fact that's what I just finished telling the authorities!

Lizza: It sounds like wild boar is actually diet pig or 'pig-lite'. Cool!

Morgen: If I could play a note on any musical instrument, I would snap that name up for my band immediately!!

Violet said...

How typically human. Find something that might be quite unique (the biggest, oldest, or the only) and kill it so you have the evidence.

PARLANCHEQ said...

The guy shot the thing in his neighbor's yard. I wonder if the neighbor feels deprived and will sue for possession so he can decorate his home with the stuffed pig. :)