Tuesday, January 23, 2007

I’ve Heard Of Cleansing The Soul, But This Is Ridiculous…

An 81-year old Austrian woman is really, really clean right now. According to the AP, she was stuck in her bathtub for four days after not being strong enough to get out after a bath. Hmmm, where to start? Cue up the lame punch lines…I promise the jokes will be ‘clean.’

I know that the elderly tend to get wrinkles, but can you imagine how prune-like this lady looked? She could have joined the California Raisins singing group as a soprano. Rub a dub dub, she’s stuck in the tub…Splish Splash, she can’t get out of the bath…Calgon took her away, it just forgot to bring her back. I bet her reputation is sinking fast. Four days in a bath will really wash that gray right out of her hair. When they said she lives in her tub, I just figured they meant she likes to take baths. Do you think she finally got hungry enough and ate the rubber ducky? Supposedly, they taste like chicken.

Seriously, I can’t imagine being in that predicament. I hope she went to the restroom prior to getting into the bathtub. I don’t even want to think about the harrowing decision that faced her if she needed to go. Potential tragedies like this should make those Life Alert people produce a waterproof version of their necklace. “Help, I’m bathing and I can’t get up!” We should probably have waterproof cordless phones too so that there can always be one next to the tub. “Hi Jimmy, this is Mom. Yeah, I can’t get out of the bathtub again. Yes, I promise I’ll cover myself with a towel when you get here. I don’t see why you are so embarrassed, that’s where you popped out from when I brought you into this world.”

I bet the nights got awfully cold as she lay in that water once the heat wore off. While it might not be on par with the Apollo 11 story, this is quite a tale of survival. To her credit, she never gave up and kept knocking on the wall until finally her neighbors heard her. Although in good condition when she was rescued, she had to be taken to the hospital so she could be treated for exposure. I just wonder if it was her exposure to water or that she was exposed? Call me insensitive here, but it’s the rescuers that should be treated for exposure after seeing a naked elderly woman who had been lying in water for four days…

18 comments:

Lee said...

She couldn't even pull the plug? What a sad story!

Josie said...

You are incorrigible... but funny. Ha.

Poor old soul.

***chuckle***

Josie

Odat said...

Good idea..a water proof life alert necklace....!
I hope I never get old!!! ;-(
pEACE

abbagirl74 said...

ugh, the horror!

Awesome Mom said...

Yeah, that is what I was thinking, at the very least she could have kept refilling the bath with warm water.

I actually have been stuck in a bath tub. I was hugely pregnant and had to get my husband to haul me out of the tub. Not fun and I was subject to a lot of teasing. For some reason I stopped taking baths after that.

Michael C said...

Lee: I may be making jokes, but I agree completely.

Josie: I'm sure I'll eventually have to go to confession for this one!

Odat: Me, too!

Abbagirl74: It would be very scary. Kind of like waking up with Little Richard 1 foot from your face.

Awesome Mom: Really? That is scary. At least your husband was there.

Dr. Blogstein said...

I think the only thing you missed was a "Rub-a-Dub-Dub" rhyme.

Old people are funny.

ShadowFalcon said...

The poor women, she must have been very weak indeed, but why not refil the tub with warm water?

R2K said...

Thats not so funny. Ive seen a old person who couldnt get out of the tub and died. The only problem: they had a water heater in there, and they got cooked for a week.

mist1 said...

Haven't you ever left a raisin in water for a few hours? They plump right up. I bet she looked better than ever.

SGT DUB said...

Come hell or high water, sink or swim, she proved she was still a fighter.

Natalie said...

If it were me, and i hope it never is. I would drain the tub if i needed to pee and position myself right over the drain. Then refill with warm water time. I would also drain the tub if i got sleepy. Nothing worse than drowning in a tub of cold pee filled water that you can't get out of.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

odat and michael, getting old beats the alternative!

and mist is right, we plump right up! ha ha.

and yes, michael, go to confession.

dr. blogstein? you are right, i am old and i am funny!

smiles, bee

captain corky said...

I bet her reputation is sinking fast.

LOL. That was my favorite one.

Rach, Los Angeles Photographer said...

that is scary!

Cece said...

Ok, what was an 81 year old woman doing taking a bath?? I mean, don't her bones ache enough, daily, to know she's not able to move like she use to?? I've got a grandma in her 60's that has aching bones! 81 & taking a bath like a 5 year old? Oy.

Violet said...

The poor woman, it must have been a total nightmare. What a foolish woman. Doesn't she know that elderly folks who aren't very strong, should be taking showers?

PARLANCHEQ said...

Maybe after she recovers she can be a spokesperson for those easy in - easy out bathtubs that Ed McMahon advertises.