Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Work – Where People Come Together

Perhaps it’s the fact that 30 Rock and The Office are finally new this week (they aren’t on yet, get back here), but I feel like sharing the latest in my office with you all. As you know, I suck excel at coworker relations. Though to be honest, I thought it would be boring and quiet (which means peaceful) with Female Coworker in Texas for the week. That is until two of my coworkers, Mr. Laylow and Ms. I Want To Go To Mime School gave me a present.

There are a few things I should mention first that will help set the scene. First, our boss was on vacation, two, it was late in the afternoon and finally, NO gift is given in our office without it making fun of someone or to mockingly celebrate some unfortunate mishap, achievement or occurrence. Why yes, I’ve received a lot of these gifts, why do you ask?

The minute I received my gift, I recognized it immediately (this is where the picture gets all wavy and fuzzy as we prepare for a flashback. Join me, won’t you, as we travel back in time a few months to explain where I remember my gift from). It was the battery operated water fountain in the highly detailed and exquisitely photographed picture to the left. Looks pretty snazzy, doesn’t it? Would you believe me if I told you that Ms. I Want To Go To Mime School bought it for $2.97 at the ‘Cheapy But Not Cheapy Enough To Qualify For Dollar Store Status’ store? She bought it right after Christmas and was just so excited that at the time she had to share her great find. I must have been the only other one in our office that day because she shared her find with me. Well, when we opened it after Christmas, it didn’t work. I know that’s a surprise to you. Then we put water in it. It still didn’t work though, but you’re gonna give us an ‘A’ for effort, right? That’s the spirit of our office team; we are always looking outside the box to overcome our challenges.

At the time, Ms. I Want To Go To Mime School was determined to return her cheap water fountain back to the store to get her less than three dollar refund. Mr. Laylow and I convinced her how embarrassing it would be to try and return a $2.97 item and told her it could probably be fixed. It turns out that a little wire wasn’t connected right and when we attached it properly (and yes, put water back into it) it worked just fine. It lit up and had 5 little jets of water shooting out, which made a wonderful ‘is someone urinating in here’ sound about it. If you’re into lavatories or hanging out in public restrooms, then I’m pretty sure you’d find it to be a very relaxing addition to your home or workspace.

Ok, the flashback is over. Join me now as we return to present day. I filled up the fountain and excitedly switched it on. Much to my horror (ok, that’s a little too dramatic), much to my surprise (well, that’s just an outright lie, I mean the thing was less than 3 bucks), much to my noticement (is that a word), it barely worked. There was only one stream instead of the 5 that were intended. And even worse, that one stream wasn’t even enough to reproduce the sound of bodily relievement.

I asked out loud ‘did you give me a broken water fountain on purpose?’ At the same time, Mr. Laylow and Ms. I Want To Go To Mime School both said that it worked just fine before they gave it to me. Ms. I Want To Go To Mime School then said she had spent the last few days eagerly awaiting when she would be able to give me my present. That is when I asked ‘was that before or after you realized it didn’t work?’ They both swore again that it worked fine before it was given to me and said that if I believed the damage was done prior to my receiving it that I was free to provide documentation of such and present the case to my boss. They argued that the water-spotted mirror on the water fountain was proof of its prior operational condition. I counter-argued that the little mirror looks like my twins’ bathroom mirror after I let them use their electric toothbrushes without supervision. EVERYONE in the office pointed out that what I said wasn’t really an argument but more of a statement that really didn’t support my position. I in turn stated ‘that’s what she said.’

At this point, Ms. I Want To Go To Mime School came into my office and took the water fountain back. Feeling an impending defeat as she began to storm out of my office with my former gift in hand, I said the only thing I could think of: ‘do you have any more of those yummy Reeses’ Peanut Butter eggs?’ That whole mime school thing must really be working out because without saying a word, the look on her face told me EXACTLY what she was thinking.

15 comments:

citizen of the world said...

Somehow your work posts never make me miss my old work place. But I am defintely going ot start using the word "noticement."

Valerie said...

Don't you just LOVE how cheapie things promise so much, yet deliver so little?

It's disappointing, but at the same time, expected. :D

Jay said...

I just adore this entire post, such gold. I love noticement too.

Patti said...

I don't remember reading about Ms. I Want to Go to Mime School...am I losing my memory?

Or is she a relatively new co-worker?


Thanks for the smiles, at any rate.

chefmom said...

Was this a REGIFT??? Was it her orginial working one, or did she spend the 2.97 to get you a new one?? I had to read from this sentence on, in tears of laughter...."which made a wonderful ‘is someone urinating in here’ sound ". That is JUST want I want to listen to all day.
On days like this one, when the boss is out and female coworker is back from texas, you need to just record all day...make a podcast...I think it would be hysterical!!

Momo Fali said...

This could easily be an Office episode! I am counting the minutes until tonight's show!

FRIGGA said...

Hahaha, oh that's funny!! And for less than 3 bucks, I want one!!!

BTW - I've got an interactive TT up this week, all about jobs - won't you come by and share some of your insight? ;-0

meleah rebeccah said...

noticement is totally a word...and THIS post was a TV show.

So exited for TV tonight Im jumping out of my skin.

Dr.John said...

They were nice enough to get you a gift worth more than a dollar and this is how you repay them. Shame!

Sizzle said...

I haven't been by in a while (sorry, stupid life getting in the way of blog reading!) but wanted you to know I am still around. Plus, The Office is FINALLY on tonight so how could I not stop by and say "hi."

That's what she said.

Ok, so that joke didn't work here but you know what I mean! ;)

Michele said...

I do believe noticement is a word or at least it should be. It has a great ring to it. :)

I love the work posts btw, they are always so entertaining. But I need to know, did she actually go out and buy you one after the one she bought one for herself? And what exactly led her to believe you wanted the sound of someone urinating in your office anyway?

On a limb with Claudia said...

Did the fountain make you want to pee? Maybe that's why it was broken....

Selma said...

A mini 'peeing' water fountain. Utterly fab. I wish my co-workers were as generous towards me!

magickat said...

Yay I love silly posts like these. Seriously, the interactions you guys have at your job really could stand on their own as a comedy series on television. It's like the Seinfeld of office life.

Kirsten said...

Same things happen in the office once the boss is not around. Aside from the fountain, they talk about silly things like the type of electrical waves that make the electrical fans run.

I visited an interesting site I want to share with you the Young Entrepreneur Society from the www.YoungEntrepreneurSociety.com. A great documentary about successful entrepreneurs.