Thursday, April 10, 2008

End Of The Week Randomocity

In lieu of actually thinking today, I present the following to you packaged as something that hopefully appears to have taken more thought and time than it really did. Although after rereading it, I think that eventuality is rather doubtful.

* Is the Flowbee considered an antique yet? I ask because I can’t find one. Yes, I’ve been looking. I’m all for self-induced haircuts. I want a haircut, I own a vacuum, what could be better?

* Turns out that if a flight leaves Dallas and another flight leaves Waco at the same time, it really won’t matter which one arrives first because both flights were cancelled when the airline went out of business at noon.

* When you take your children to a bounce-house place for a birthday party and you end up playing in the bounce houses, is it a good or bad thing when you are leaving at the end of the night and the birthday girl’s parents pat you on the back and say ‘thanks for being the entertainment?’ They did say it with a smile, but my sarcasm detector was picking up a little something.

* I’m hoping there is no special afterlife place for insects. With Spring in full bloom here, I think I killed about 3,000 butterflies yesterday while driving through the countryside for work. And what’s worse is that I forgot to clean the evidence mess off my windshield last night. I did try to use the windshield wipers in cleaner mode this morning, but it really didn’t help and just streaked everywhere. I just kept trying it in vain like in those made for TV movies where the killer feels remorse and stands in the shower trying to wash the blood off. Great, I’m driving around in a freakin’ crime scene now.

* Has anyone else ever had to try to kill a gopher (I say try because I am in my third year of ‘trying’) that your children think is cute every time it pops its sinister head up? I feel like the stern cowboy father in those sappy movies who is the one that has to take the old dog or horse outback and put it to sleep by shooting it. Why does the mother or uncle or next-door neighbor or hired hand or grizzled old grandmother never have to do it? I guess I should stop complaining since these are the problems you face when accepting the challenge of living on the frontier (of new suburban developments, I mean).

* My coworker and I spent an hour at work the other day with our assistant trying to figure out what the difference between an FYI and a ‘heads up’ is. Turns out there really isn’t one, but we did finally come to an agreement that ‘heads up’ sounds less official and creates much less anxiety. We went with ‘FYI.’

* Social Acceptance tip: If your Ipod contains the Carpenters (and I won’t ask why, as I’d like the same treatment in return), don’t bring your Ipod to work unless the shuffle feature is off. Or at the very least, pause it when you leave your desk so you don’t return to a cubicle full of coworkers saying things like ‘yeah, I think it is the Carpenters’ or ‘gheesh Michael random male coworker, how old are you?’

16 comments:

Patti said...

Can you at least "shoot" a picture of the gopher to post on your blog? That would be better, because he does sound cute.

and a Flowbee - never heard of that one. Is it a Ronco product, perchance?

;-)

I like The Carpenters, but I'm from another time and place.

Have a good Friday!

okiesister said...

"We've only just begun
To live.
White lace and promises.
A kiss for luck and we're on our way."
Hey, how can you not sing along to the Carpenters?

chefmom said...

Have you tried Ebay, for your flowbee??? Why do I have this image in my head of you starring in Caddyshack???

Valerie said...

I made playlists for work so my iPod only plays happy music! I've found it keeps me in a better mood during the day (about as good a mood as I CAN be in at work!). Fortunately, there are no Carpenters songs. There is, however, the Greatest Hits of Linda Ronstadt.

Natalie said...

I came back to my office to find NWA playing the other day. Luckily the noise doesn't travel extremely well because I don't think their music is conducive to a positive working environment.

FRIGGA said...

Oh boy. "I present the following to you packaged as something that hopefully appears to have taken more thought and time than it really did" - I think you're secret's out! ;-0

And yick - my car is like a crime scene too. I think I may have to wash it today.

And gophers - my Mom got one of those things that you burry in your garden and it then makes this high pitch beep every couple of minutes - it's supposed to drive the gophers bonkers. I think it works, I mean, my Mom never complains about gophers...

Happy Friday!!! :D

Amy said...

OK...which Carpenter's song is it? Or is it the whole album.

"On the day that you were born the angels got together"...

or

Tommy Boy Carpenters?

hee-hee!

Happy Friday to you!!

meleah rebeccah said...

"When you take your children to a bounce-house place for a birthday party and you end up playing in the bounce houses, is it a good or bad thing when you are leaving at the end of the night and the birthday girl’s parents pat you on the back and say ‘thanks for being the entertainment?’ They did say it with a smile, but my sarcasm detector was picking up a little something."


I think its a GOOD thing. At least you paid attention to the kids. Sheesh.

Michele said...

Oh I love bounce houses! Any event that has one, I'm in! Although I've never been called the entertainment before, at least not to my face. :)

Just thinking, if you were considered "the entertainment" for the children, shouldn't you get paid some sort of fee? After all entertaining is a job..

In regards to the flowbee, not sure if it's actually an antique yet, but I do know my MIL uses one to cut her hair. Would you like me to ask where she purchased it?
:)

On a limb with Claudia said...

Rather than pay any attention to what you wrote and give a thoughtful response.... ;)

Um. I think the question: "Are there butterflies in heaven?" is a deep philosophical question.

Wait. Pandora is playing something stupid.

Ok, where was I. yes, deep and philosophical question which cannot be answered on a Friday.

Ask the twins. I bet they have an excellent answer for you.

Mimi Lenox said...

You've been royally tagged by Mimi Queen of Memes. Have fun!
Message In a Bottle

Mimi Lenox said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Janna said...

Butterfly killer!

Selma said...

That bounce-house scenario has happened to me too. I was embarrassed but it didn't stop me because I love to bounce. Embrace the bounce!

magickat said...

"I think I killed about 3,000 butterflies yesterday while driving through the countryside for work."

Oh my GOD! I just went to a butterfly exhibit and I return to your blog to find this????? Say it aint so, Michael!

Omyword! said...

There are buggers in the bounce house. (Is that a Carpenters song? It sounds more like Bo Diddly.)

I tend to think this about FYI and HU: If you say, "For YOUR inforMAtion..." out loud, you will instantly see a snipey woman pointing at you. If you say, with a little undertone, "Yo...heads up!" You'll see a pal of yours, just ahead of the boss coming 'round the end of your cubicle, just in time for you to close your blog browser and open your TPM report. Now...which one do you prefer?

In the gopher department, just shove steel wool in their holes. Like my Mexican gardener said to me in Arizona, "It hurts their patas." mmm hmmm. Cheap. Works. Or maybe that was for the pack rats?

When a flight from Waco gets canceled, it could mean that the End Times are on their way. I say this with experience.