Thursday, April 24, 2008

Even More End Of The Week Randomocity

The weekend is finally upon us. What better way to ease out of the work week than to slowly drain the extraneous thoughts from our mind in the same manner that you’d wring out a rag after using it to wash your car. For some reason that doesn’t sound like a very desirable thing to do though, does it? I’ll work on better segues for next week. Now, let the randomness begin…

* If Joe Cocker had a seizure while performing, how would you be able to tell?

* I like to hum while eating hummus. It just feels right. I do not, however, like being smashed between two objects when eating a sandwich.

* Want to feel like a complete failure? Get up early, get dressed to go walking, go downstairs, put your walking shoes on and then go back upstairs and get back into bed. You could try to be cool and call it a run-through, but you’d just be denying your laziness. Though, I did go up and down the stairs twice…

* Isn’t Rory Calhoun a great name? Would it surprise you if I told you that he starred in Westerns? These aren’t rhetorical questions. I really do expect an answer.

* ‘Midnight Train To Georgia’ has the BEST BACKGROUND VOCALS OF ANY SONG, ALL TIME, EVER. This is not a random thought. This should be made into law. In all 52 states. Wait, that doesn’t sound right…

* How to succeed in the office tip: no matter how slow your computer is, don’t spend the time waiting for it by spinning around doing full circles in your desk chair. Your boss will walk by. If you are prone to dizziness and vertigo like I am, then you’ve actually got TWO reasons why you should not engage in this activity.

* Tina Fey spoke directly to me last week. In one episode of 30 Rock, she made reference to not knowing about the latest news because the Food Network doesn’t have a news show and that she feels pocket-sized deep fryers would sell well. It’s like our minds melded or something. Oh great, now I’m just asking for a restraining order!

* I was reminded how tragically unhip I am earlier in the week when I was having a conversation with a coworker. She was telling me that she got bit by a mosquito and feared having the Nile West virus. I told her that wasn’t right and that Nile West was a rap singer. She laughed rather loudly in my face and told me that’s Kanye West. I later realized she meant West Nile, but was not around to vindicate myself for the Kanye/Nile West faux pas I committed.

* I spent almost 20 minutes explaining the difference between sautéed, grilled and BBQ’d to Ms. I Want To Go To Mime School the other day, but I ended up looking like the jerk. I’m thinking this might be related to the fact that she was having a conversation about cooking with another coworker that I happened to overhear and she never really did ask for my opinion on the matter. You are aware that grilled is different from sautéed, right? I’m mean it’s not just me, right?

* Do you think Barack has ever slept in a barrack?

* When any female member of your extended family tells you that she has to have surgery on her mouth, do not ever, under any circumstances, respond by saying ‘is that because you use it too much?’

26 comments:

C said...

Hmmm - at least you walked up and down the stairs. Your next goal is to make it out the door and back in without getting locked out.

Pawlie Kokonuts said...

I had hummus this evening, but it wasn't too humid at all, relatively speaking.

Eva said...

To answer your questions that you posed to your audience:
1. Actually, I find that very desirable.
2. Maybe.
3. No.
4. Yes.
5. Yes.
6. Yes.
7. No, it's not just you.
8. It's quite possible.

cmk said...

I remember Rory Calhoun. Why do your posts always remind of how old I am? ;)

cmk said...

That is supposed to say 'remind me of how old I am.'

Michael C said...

C: I'd better stick to one goal at a time.

Pawlie: I'm glad the humidty was tolerable while you were eating hummus, relatively, speaking ;-)

Eva: You just earned major bonus points! Unfortunately, they aren't yet redeemable for anything. Sorry.

CMK: I swear that's not intentional!!

Selma said...

I think Nile West is Kanye's brother. I'm sure I saw it on MTV. You crack me up. Have a great weekend!

chefmom said...

I believe it..Tina Fey did speak to you. For sure. So does Ms. Mime school, Mime cooking and that's whay she doesn't know the difference?
ANd Yes, the last one...Not a smart question to ask a female member of the family....

rebecca said...

HA! Nile West....now that was funny! And I always thought Joe Cocker could only perform when under seizing attacks....hmmm? you mean I was wrong?

Valerie said...

I love your bullet posts! I actually did a bullet post today. They are so much more fun than a "real" post. And you make the best ones EVER!!!

I would so love to be a fly on the wall at your office one day. God, now *I* sound like a stalker! Jeez!

Gina said...

I knew about Rory Calhoun! Does that earn me bonus points?

On a limb with Claudia said...

I can only bow to your randomocity. then wonder: "If West Nile is going around OC, then will the girls on the Real Housewives get it?"

Mel Heth said...

I thought it was Niles Barkley disease?

meleah rebeccah said...

Pocket deep fryers WOULD sell.....

Patti said...

I've heard of Rory Calhoun.

Thanks for a decidedly non-hip reference for us oldsters.

re: female relative's mouth: You could have responded by saying "is that because it's too big?" but that is just as bad as what you wrote.

I'm picturing you in bed with shoes on. Ha ha ;-D

Michele said...

I just love your randomocity, it aways cracks me up!!

Just so you are not worried, yes grilling is different from sauteing. Yes I know that is spelled wrong, however I've never known how to put that little line above letters. I mean is there a button for that?

Regarding the West Nile one, I'm sorry to admit, that I've never even heard of Kanye West. So I guess that makes me tragically unhipper..

Eva said...

Thanks for the bonus points! It doesn't matter if they're useless. I hoard them, I don't spend them. It gives them more value somehow.

And Hey! Have a great weekend! And! You make me laugh! Thanks!

sari said...

there's a great line in a Simpsons called "Two Dozen and one Greyhounds" where Mr. Burns is looking at Santa's Little Helper's puppies and one stands on it's hind legs and Burns says "Look at him standing there like a little Rory Calhoun".

But then he tried to make a tuxedo out of all of them. Luckily he's stopped, but you know, it was tense there for a bit.

Odat said...

I often wondered that about Joe Cocker! (poor guy)

LOL...great post.

Peace and have a great weekend.

Aisby said...

I love those Pips!!

Sizzle said...

Georgia song- totally agree!

Mouth comment- hilarious!

magickat said...

Everyone say yum for hummus! It's so delicious!

Ralph said...

Well, what can one say about Joe Cocker and his seizure:

'What would you do
If I sang out of tune...'

Perhaps we could 'Cry Me a River...'

anti said...

Superstar. But he didn't get far.

citizen of the world said...

The real question is, do you like to pretend you're an Earl when you're eating a sandwich?

I'm dating a man who talks way more than I do. How can I sign him up for that surgery?

Agreed on Midnight Train to Georgia. Woo woo! Woo woo!

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