Saturday, April 28, 2007

Things I Learned This Week: 4-28-07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason it never makes me look good. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 4/22/07-4/28/07.

! I learned that spending $500 on your sick cat equates to one extra week of life. Funny, I had thought that the money wouldn’t bother me.

! I learned that when one of your fish dies you had better get it out of the tank before your young daughters see it and you find yourself explaining about fish heaven, which somehow turns into a discussion of Finding Nemo and The Incredible Mister Limpet.

! I learned that giving myself a haircut only seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning when I was deliriously tired and wanted shorter hair, not 8 in the morning when I’m standing in front of the mirror. Does Hare Krishna mean anything to you?

! I learned that in the grand scheme of things, getting to work extra early for a change doesn’t really help you impress the boss when he isn’t there. Sending emails to him and your coworkers so that they know what time you arrived only helps to give you a bad nickname containing words like ‘brown’ and ‘kiss.’

! I learned that despite their assurances otherwise, my four-year-old twins will not keep it secret that I let them watch 4 movies and have 3 snacks last Saturday night so that I could watch my race in peace.

! I learned that most people think it is inappropriate to feed little children Elvis’ fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. It’s a shame too because they really enjoyed them.

And lastly,

! I learned that you are truly off the beaten path when you come across a ‘town’ (and I use the word very liberally) that allows zoning for a mansion, a trailer home, a BBQ joint and a crematorium on the same block. If we only knew which of the last two that the smoke was coming from.

18 comments:

Stacey said...

My boss comes in at least an hour after I do every day, so showing up early really isn't going to impress him.

He has a habit of calling my desk 10 minutes before I'm supposed to be at work though (I'm always there).

Patti said...

Michael, It sounds like Lucy and Ethel have a lot of fun when daddums is in charge!

There you go with the BBQ obsession again. What am I missing???

Let's hope the smoke was indeed coming from the BBQ joint.

Michael C said...

Stacey: I thought showing up early would impress, but I was the only one there for an hour and a half.

Patti: I love BBQ. Since I'm not sure if blogging or annoying one's coworkers can be called a hobby, BBQing is my hobby. I'll be BBQing here in a few minutes.

You'd be proud of me - I went running while listening to Lionel Richie this morning ;-)

~*SilverNeurotic*~ said...

I think I need the recipe for the "Elvis Sandwich".

And yes, sometimes it's better to just let the pet go, then spend a fortune on something that might not even help much. My parents learned that with their first dog, they ended up bringing her to the Vet. hospital of U of Penn and it died halfway through the night.

The hospital was nice enough to only charge for half a night.

Odat said...

awww..did the cat pass??? ss...

bbq, fried peanut butter sandwiches..snacks...i detect a pattern here.....
Peace

Michael C said...

silver: For the sandwich, you almost make it like a grilled cheese. It is pretty good...and the best part is that hospitalization after you eat it is optional ;-)

Odat: Yeah, she passed. Speaking of the pattern you detected, it's just me and the twins tonight so the treats will be flowing all night!

Patti said...

Ooh - fill us in on the treats.
We are about to have Tin Roof Sundae ice cream...

And I am proud of you listening to Lionel Richie whilst running.
That's what I forgot to do today, run! Guess there is always tomorrow.

Michael C said...

Patti: Our menu tonight consisted of steak, chicken nuggets, fries and ice cream...but the night is still young ;-)

heartinsanfrancisco said...

Sorry about your cat. And fish. Do I detect a trend?

I have also been mistaken for a hare krishna or a little boy in drag after such self-inflicted wounds. Luckily, hair grows.

Those towns with no zoning are quite amazing. I have also seen hamlets where mansions and trailers were next-door neighbors. It's hard to decide in such cases whether the 'hood is going up or down.

Josie said...

Oh, I coulda told ya that. Never, ever, trust little four year-old girls with a secret.

Never.

Ha!

Josie

Michael C said...

Hearts: Unfortunately the trend is that things age and can't last forever.

There's no more dangerous power than that of semi-professional Oster brand hair clippers ;-)

In the case of where I was, the hood was definitely going down.

Michael C said...

Josie: Yep, I learned the hard way. Maybe if I tell them that ice cream sundaes just before bedtime isn't a secret, they won't feel compelled to tell everyone ;-)

Lone Grey Squirrel said...

Everyone else is sorry about your cat and fish, so I thought I'd score some brownie points and say that I am sorry about your hair!

My heart runneth over... said...

First let me say, Thanks for visiting.

Second, I have no idea why fried peanut butter and banana sandwhiches would be a bad thing. lol

Thirdly, I am truly sorry for the loss of both your cat and your fish.

Loved this idea of writing what i learned in a week. :)

All the best,
M

Patti said...

Michael, I guess I had too much wine with dinner and didn't understand that Figaro had passed away.
Sorry about that.
Sorry about the fish, too.
Hope Lucy and Ethel are taking all this well.

Michael C said...

Lone Grey: Welcome back! Brownie points scored my friend ;-)

My Heart Runneth Over: Thanks for visiting. PB and Banana should be a once in a while guilty pleasure for everyone. When I eat them, I like to talk like Elvis with my lip curled and say 'baby' a lot ;-)

Patti: Thanks. The twins are doing fine but now want a kitten. I don't know how our 85 pound retriever Mabel would feel about that. Especially since she thinks she's a lap dog ;-)

CS said...

Children will rat you out in a heartbeat, and I haven't discovered yet when they outgrow it (not by 13!).

Anonymous said...

I'm still suffering from my own hair-cutting experience, but you ALMOST can't tell now. :D
Sorry about the cat, and the fish, and the hair... you had quite the week, didn't you?