Thursday, April 05, 2007

In Search Of The Perfect Post

For whatever reason, I rarely strive to undertake something to the best of my ability. I realize I should but it helps me manage people’s expectations. The lower I keep them, the less will hopefully be asked of me. I have made the mistake in the past of setting very high expectations, which only proves to be a pain to live up to. However, when it comes to this blogging stuff, I find myself striving for perfection at least three days a week.

Daily I read posts that are excellent and inspire me to create the ultimate post - one that should be marked as a classic in the dictionary or encyclopedia. Well, ok, I’d settle for an entry in Wikipedia.com. I came across a few of them again while surfing blogs this morning and it really got me thinking about what would make the perfect post, the post that when I realized it could not be topped would send me into blogging retirement, and maybe a book deal. Though I’d settle for getting a pamphlet published.

Of course by describing it to you, it kind of takes away the need to actually write the perfect post since I’ll essentially be doing that here, but maybe that’s just my way of talking about doing the work instead of actually doing it. While the perfect post means different things to different writers, for me it would have to be witty, laugh out loud funny and at the same time make the reader think long after reading it, though not in a college philosophy class type of way. The penultimate post also needs to force readers to contemplate such deep thoughts as their own mortality, their particular brand of spirituality, how we coexist as a global people and why the Dave Clark 5 could be the most underappreciated band of the entire British Invasion. OK, you got me. I ran out of ideas when I wrote that last item. Perfection is hard.

As difficult as it will be to accomplish, my ‘classic’ post should also leave people in awe of my brilliant intelligence, or my ‘brilligence,’ if you will. Oh yeah, getting people to cry would be cool too. So would having people quote it for years after or see it put into an email and forwarded dozens of times. And having it stolen for use as an advertising slogan. And having the post spark an entire new movement, but that’s it. OK, and it could lead to my own TV comedy development deal. Really though, if I had to choose just one effect of composing the perfect post, I’d just settle for the crying part. Or the quoting part. Although the TV thing would be pretty neat.

Now for the actual nitty gritty elements of my perfect post. I realize that by getting into these items that I am providing you with the elements and blue print to compose the perfect post, thereby making it possible for my perfect post to be stolen. However, I am trusting, or naïve or maybe just not that smart, so I don’t mind providing these secret ingredients for the perfect post. After all, the perfection lies in how the elements are presented, which by the way I will also provide for a nominal fee.

All right, now here is what the perfect post should contain. Oh, you know what; I’ve already exceeded my 500 words for the day. Now I won’t be able to share what is needed for the perfect post. I guess I spent too much time talking about it. Hopefully I didn’t get anyone too excited. Sorry about that. Well, as long as I’m around to see the sunrise and my computer boots up, there’s always tomorrow. Hey, that’s pretty good. I need to remember that.

12 comments:

captain corky said...

"Oh, you know what; I’ve already exceeded my 500 words for the day".

Bastard! I was all set to become a genius. Now I'm going to have to wait for at least another day. Rats.

Stacey said...

So, I've written a "classic" post. How long til I'm offered a book deal?

mist1 said...

Lord, I want to write a perfect post one day.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

well now that was perfect!

smiles, bee

Patti said...

I think, actually I know, that all my posts are perfect.
So I doubt I could learn any good tips from you.
;-)

Seriously, this was much fun to read! It made my morning.
I shall return very soon to feast on some more humorous writing.

SGT DUB said...

463,464,465..achoo, where was I? 1,2,3...

Erica AP said...

I'd have to say this post was perfect in every way. It made me laugh, cry and contemplate life in this crazy place called earth that we live on. I think I'm going to forward your post in a group email to everyone I know...

Natalie said...

A perfect post may simply not exist. if it did, all Bloggers would have to stop, not just the perfect post author. It would be disaster.

Danielle said...

Just dropping by and I really must say you I am the same way when it comes to expectations and my performance. I have whole stories, with characterizations complete, background even dialogue stored in the recesses of my mind. I choke up when writing for school and confuse myself sometimes when writing notes.

I think this was a hell of a post that many writers out there can relate to.

As to the perfect post, that means many things to many people. I say let the words flow, reread and edit before posting and the thoughts will come through.

Have a great weekend.

Sher said...

I laughed, I cried. This was the feel good post of the season.

Odat said...

Why is everyone crying??? Did I miss something??? hehe....but I'm putting on my sunglasses here because your shining "Brilligence" is blinding me!!!!
Peace and have Hoppy Easter to you and yours!

CS said...

Damn, I had my pen out and was all ready to take notes on the elements of the perfect post. Sigh.