Saturday, April 14, 2007

Things I Learned This Week: 4-14-07

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and for some reason it never makes me look good. I hope that knowing about at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 4/8/07-4/14/07.

! I learned that it is possible to pay the Vet $500 and still be able to leave his clinic without knowing why my wife’s cat lost the use of her front paw.

! I learned that when I am smoking meat on the BBQ and it is a rather windy day, I should close the sliding glass door to the patio. Or I need to have a very strong scented Yankee candle ready and burning before anyone else gets home.

! I learned that when I am trying a new sleeping medication for the first time, I should not answer a call from work at 3: 15 in the morning. This is especially true if I do not wish to be taunted about my incoherence during that phone call for the remainder of the week!

! I learned that I need to make sure from now on that I hard-boiled the eggs before Lucy and Ethel color them. I also need to verify that all eggs have been found after the Easter egg hunt.

! I learned that my niece wasn’t wearing a belt that had a squeeze toy attached to it so it would make a sound when you touched her tummy. Apparently, it was my nephew holding the squeeze toy in his pocket. I hate being so gullible, especially in front of the in-laws.

! I learned that Thursday was not casual day at work after I showed up in cargo pants an untucked shirt but that Friday was when I showed up in a shirt and tie. For you regular readers, I guess I got a taste of my own medicine.

And lastly,


! I learned that you know you are in the middle of nowhere when you see a street called Whispering Spur and you notice that just feet from there is a red barn with a sign reading ‘Cow Town USA Square Dancing.’ I was tempted to enter the building and ask for an order of dose-e-do to go.

14 comments:

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

well now these are very good to know michael, thanks....

smiles, bee

mist1 said...

I have a BBQ scented Yankee Candle. It smells good enough to eat.

Odat said...

I just shake my head every time i read your "lists"...and lmao...
Peace

Kerry said...

So freakin' funny!
Thanks!

Michael C said...

Empress Bee: May the knowledge make your week much better ;-)

Mist1: I will pine away for the existence of such a candle for the rest of my life.

Odat: You're laughing with me, not at me, right? ;-)

Kerry: Glad you enjoyed. Thank you!

Violet said...

Answering the phone when you're just about asleep is a very bad idea. The last time it happened to me, I was so incoherent the caller assumed I was drunk, and the next morning she told my brand new boyfriend what a lush I was.

Patti said...

I'm guessing your spouse got upset about the BBQ smoke wafting into the house. Tell her with your sleep deficiency it's hard to remember everything.

Thanks for the laughs.

ShadowFalcon said...

I love your lists Michael just cos it reminds me not everyone is perfect...

Alison said...

We live a couple of blocks from a BBQ joint. When the wind blows the right way, we can smell the smoke in our back yard. It's heaven.

And then we go get BBQ for dinner.

Stacey said...

I learned that the four new tires actually cost LESS than your cat's trip to the vet.

Now I'm kinda glad I don't have a cat.

Anonymous said...

I just can't imagine what sort of life you lead... I must, however, state that it's very amusing to the rest of us :D

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, the 'do-se-do to go' gets me every time :D

Webmiztris said...

Cow Town USA....lol! That sounds classy. ;)

CS said...

I don't think I've made it through an Easter with kids yet where at least one egg doesn't go AWOL.

And, yeah, those sleep meds will get you every time - not only should you not answer the phone, you should not suddenly decide you neeed to send an email. Trust me on this.