A Christmas Story Meme

I saw this on my blogging twin Meleah’s site yesterday and decided to steal it for today. Please do not confuse this with the meme she posted and tagged me with today that I am posting tomorrow. I hope you aren’t confused. At any rate, I felt a Christmas themed list was entirely appropriate for this time of year as opposed to, well, let’s say July.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
I am a horrible wrapper and friends and family have come to expect lopsided, crumbled up and over-taped packages from me. The people at Scotch Tape have actually suggested I buy stock in their company. The key is beginning with way too much paper. I believe it really shows folks my humility and how much I care that I am willing to give them a gift even though it is poorly wrapped. It’s the thought that counts this time of year, right?

2. Real tree or artificial?
Artificial. Though I had the real deal growing up and miss it.

3. When do you put up the tree?
Right around Thanksgiving, if not slightly before. Hence why I now have the artificial tree mentioned in question #2 above.

4. When do you take the tree down?
New Year’s Day.

5. Do you like eggnog?
I crave it to the point that my body aches when I have not had any to drink for too long. I believe this qualifies as an illness. I am working on perfecting a freezing technique that will allow me to drink it year round without getting really sick. Tip: do not drink old and expired dairy products.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
That’s a toughie. Perhaps it was the bocce ball set I received my sophomore year of high school. I fell in love with the game and it helped permanently cement me as 75 year-old man. I’d play today but the cold weather makes my back ache. OK, I’m kidding about that last part, but I still have that bocce ball set (and 3 others) somewhere. We used to hold tournaments in high school and college. Remember, no one ever said I was cool or popular.

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
Does it count if it’s the Peanuts characters?

8. Hardest person to buy for?
The person I pulled out of the hat for this year’s work’s secret Santa thing. Seriously, what do you get for that person on your list who has everything? Answer, a gift certificate to Chuck E. Cheese. Who doesn’t like eating pizza in the shadow of a 7-foot mouse with lots of screaming kids? MMMMMMM, delicious.

9. Easiest person to buy for?
My dog Mabel. A big rawhide bone and she’s like a kid on Christmas morn. Or something like that. The twins are pretty easy too. It’s a Karaoke machine this year. And, it docks to the Ipod so there is no carrying around 35 different CDs to cater to everyone’s musical tastes. You’d think that last sentence would be on the box, wouldn’t you?

10. Worst Christmas gift ever received?
Well, socks are never fun. At least my Aunt never made me a pink bunny outfit!

11. Mail or E-mail Christmas card?
Both. I also do a Christmas CD in lieu of a card sometimes, which is pretty dumb of me because it takes about 534 times as long to do a Christmas CD complete with labels as it does to do a dang card.

12. Favorite Christmas movie?
While I do enjoy It’s A Wonderful Life and Rudolph, It has to be A Christmas Story. Is it wrong that my 5 year-old twins can randomly and often quote a bevy of lines from the movie? Is it also wrong that I have the 20-inch replica of the lamp for the movie on display and lit in our TV room? I’m hoping the answers to both those questions is no.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
Sometime in December. Basically whatever day I wake up and say to myself ‘Oh Fudge (get the Christmas Story reference there?), I need to start Christmas shopping’ as a wave of terror sweeps over me.

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
Not that I am aware of. But then again, I recently accidentally put a piece of paper down on top of a candle and didn’t realize it had started a small fire in the kitchen until Ethel calmly pointed it out to me. Upon further review, yeah, I have probably received one.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
My Mom’s cranberry muffins. I can’t recall a Christmas morn without them.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Alternate between clear and colored. Not in the same year though, that would be too difficult.

17. Favorite Christmas song?
Nat King Cole’s version of The Christmas Song (ya know, the chestnut one). Although serious consideration must be given to Alvin and The Chipmuncks (all he wanted was a hula hoop) and Jungle, Jangle, Jingle from the Rudolph movie. Who can resist toe tapping to those two? Seriously, there is just something about Nat’s song though. It perfectly sums up the holiday and I am immediately transported to Christmas Eve no matter when or what time of year I hear it. Not that I’ve ever listened to it in the summer or anything.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
Stay home. Always stay home. Never leave the house. You want to be with me on Christmas, you get to come to me.

19. Can you name Santa’s reindeer?
I think I can. There were what, about 20 of them, right? I’ll see how many I can remember. There’s Buster, Dopey, Sleazy, Stan, Hillary, Huey, Duey, Blister and over course, Rue McClanahan.

20. Do you have an angel on top of the tree or a star?
It used to be an angel. But I couldn’t find it this year. So this year I got nuthin’.

21. Open presents Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?
Ah ha, here’s where it pays it off being me. Since my birthday is Christmas Eve (it’s on Monday this year, for those keeping score at home), I get to open gifts on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Although as kids, our parents would let my brother and I open our 1 gift to each other on Christmas Eve.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
When it ends. And the fact that TBS only shows A Christmas Story for 24 consecutive hours. What, they couldn’t do 36 or 48?