Things I Learned This Week: 12/9/06

Because I want to spare you from experiencing some of the things I endured over the last few days, I post “Things I Learned This Week” each Saturday. It’s educational, sometimes insightful and always pathetic. I hope that at least one item on this list will make your upcoming week much easier. So here are the “Things I Learned This Week” for the week of 12/3/06-12/9/06.

! I learned that just because another child sneezes while in the proximity of my child during a school Christmas recital that my child won’t become sick. I also learned that other parents don’t appreciate me pointing the sneezing child out to my wife while saying, “see, there’s another one, I told you Lucy and Ethel are gonna get sick!”

! I learned that my fellow coworkers don’t think I’m very smart just because I confused the measurements of feet and miles (momentarily, I might add) during a discussion about the altitude of our local mountains.

! I learned that just because my wife brings my daughters to work that it doesn’t give me the right to parade them into every office where I work to show them off…or the local restaurant I eat at for lunch every day.

! I learned that next time I volunteer to take 14 of my closest relatives to dinner that I need to choose someplace cheaper than an upscale Italian restaurant. The local burger dive would be just fine, and they probably have more seating and serve French fries!

! I learned that participating in all of the office Christmas parties and secret Santa gift exchanges might actually exceed what I make in any given pay period.

! I learned to never again buy a 32 ounce iced tea when I am conducting field visits for work and am 2 hours from home.

And lastly,

! I learned that the new wedding band my wife selected is 10 times more expensive than my new wedding band. I guess that’s what I get for buying new bands to celebrate our tenth anniversary…in May!