Thursday, May 01, 2008

More End Of The Week Randomocity, Again

Wow, it’s getting harder and harder (that’s what she said) to keep coming up with titles that reflect more randomocity. I tried ‘Randomocity Squared,’ ‘Hey Watch Out, Here Comes More Randomocity’ and even ‘Get Aboard The Randomocity Train Because It’s Back Again’ but they just lacked that certain something. The ‘certain something’ of course being code for ‘good’ or maybe ‘decent.’

* In my book, a good father is one who has the patience to drive around town for an hour with his girls as he tries to teach them the background vocals to ‘Midnight Train To Georgia,’ especially with today’s fuel prices! Hey wait a minute, that’s what I did. I must be a good father. Well, thank you for noticing.

* I’m trying to get the phrase ‘excuse me, I have to go x-ray my chicken’ to catch on. It sounds dirty, but it isn’t. It was part of a conversation I had. With real people. I’m thinking if done correctly it has the potential for sitcom catch phrase AND must have t-shirt fad. Wondering how big this could get? Imagine ‘who you gonna call’ combined with ‘where’s the beef.’ Yeah, THAT big. Again, that’s what she said.

* I’m worried that a coworker caught me dancing and singing to Tom Jones’ ‘She’s A Lady.’ I don’t think my excuse that it has a great beat worked very well. But it does. Whoa, whoa, whoa, but it does now. (It might work better if you are actually saying that last part to the beat of the song -- one octave lower, of course).

* Is 34 too old to be eating ice cream out of a little plastic baseball helmet with an oversized spoon while wearing a Dr. Seuss Green Eggs and Ham t-shirt? A lot of people were staring as I walked from the concession stand back to my seat at the Angel game the other night. That’s the only reason I ask.

* ‘Good morning Daddy’ may just be the sweetest words ever in the English language. Then again, ‘cheese,’ ‘fried,’ ‘day-off’ and ‘free’ are pretty sweet too. Ok, now I’ve just diluted the original message, haven’t I?

* Is a thought really random when I sit in front of the computer for 2 hours waiting for it to come to me?

* Some day I hope to pioneer the ultimate social networking website. It will combine the best of both MySpace and Facebook. It’s current beta-title? MyFace, of course. Admit it, you saw that one coming…

* No matter how bad your work day is going, having a female coworker approach you with this question: ‘let’s say you run over a rodent-type creature with your car, what are you supposed to do,’ is guaranteed to immediately improve your day. For the record, I told her ‘well, we aren’t in the south (no offense anyone) so you can’t pull over, wrap it up and take it home for dinner, so you should call the authorities and surrender to them before they come get you at work.’ That didn’t go over very well and either will me showing up next week with recipes for cooking possum that I’m going to spend all weekend Googling.

21 comments:

Ralph said...

It takes a great dad to work the backing vocals of the undersung ‘Pips’ to the star Gladys Knight. ‘Midnight Train To Georgia,’ is a great song for Lucy and Ethel to learn, and who cares about fuel prices and carbon footprints as long as you three learn and bond?

Hey, Tom Jones songs sound great only when sung by Tom Jones himself, not some other anonymous lounge lizard singing ‘She’s A Lady.’ However, 'It’s Not Unusual' that lesser singers try to emulate the great Tom Jones.

Just telling it like it is said...

Myface... I could see it now...infact it might stop me from having to find really great testical pics on photobucket only to realize that I unable to post the pic...
I think it is my really great anblity to not really understand how to work the computer...
but with the myface we could add the computer for dumbies part..
Did I say that right???
Oh micheal I need to learn so mcuh

On a limb with Claudia said...

Gee Michael, you seem almost... well... happy. I'm delighted.

Now can I borrow those boots? ;)

cmk said...

This post REALLY must have been over-the-top funny. I laughed so long and hard that my cat woke up and gave me a dirty look. It takes A LOT to wake my cat.

Mel Heth said...

If you were wearing the plastic baseball helmet and eating green eggs and ham, that might've been weird. Your scenario is perfectly acceptable.

BTW, have you seen this: http://gawker.com/382307/thats-what-she-said-it-always-works

Valerie said...

I forgot about those baseball cap ice cream bowls! I had no idea those were still around!

And I'm from the South, and I don't grill my roadkill.

Dr.John said...

You are the master at whatever it is you do. It seems to be stream of thought. You move so freely all over the place and yet everything is sort of connected.
Glad you are a good father.

Linda~ said...

In your randomness, you neglected the fact that today, May 2nd, is No Pants Day. Your Green Eggs & Ham shirt is totally acceptable today as long as you are wearing no pants. Underwear, whether boxers or briefs, is totally acceptable.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go x-ray my chicken.

Linda~

meleah rebeccah said...

Is 34 too old to be eating ice cream out of a little plastic baseball helmet with an oversized spoon while wearing a Dr. Seuss Green Eggs and Ham t-shirt?

You can NEVER be too old for that!

Micheal, once again, this post had me hysterical laughing. I almost (ALMOST) forgot I was in the office while reading this.

xxoo

Amy said...

That WAS you at the Angel's game!?!?

You always have me giggling! I can always count on you to make me laugh!

Have a superb weekend!

Patti said...

Gracias, Miguel, for the giggles.

I love the streaming thought process you provide your readers. It's intriguing.

HEALTH NUT WANNABEE MOM said...

I love the green eggs and ham shirt! You keep making me laugh and I have to come back for more!

Eva said...

Here's some help for next week's post title:

"Randomocity II: Electric Boogaloo"

You're welcome.

Odat said...

I used "Excuse me I have to go x-ray my chicken" for a sales call I got during dinner!!! I love it and am going to use it!!! Did that come to you before or after you x-rayed your head??? ;-) I also like "excuse me, I' have to go x-ray my beef" (TWSS)

C said...

What about FaceSpace. I was going to say Spaceface or NookSpace but the first one sounded like an insult and the second one sounds like a place to have sex. And face space - sounds a bit raunchy too.

brandy said...

"Cheese" is one of my favourite words ever too. Also "free ________ " anything is good too.

And on a completely random note (fitting with the title of this post) I just bought my first season of 30 Rock, which I'm going to watch today. It will be my first time, I'm both excited and nervous.

TWSS.

I had to.

Eva said...

What does TWSS stand for?

Candace said...

LOL!!

The staring people were just taking mental notes on how to become that cool.

How much do you hate Kyle Busch right now?

sari said...

A person should never be too old to eat ice cream out of a little helmet wearing ANY kind of t-shirt (Green Eggs and Ham, The White Stripes, something with a big panda on it, whatever).

magickat said...

I love how music is such a HUGE part of your life and your personality. Can you believe there are actually people who do not like music? They have no souls, these people.

"Free fried cheese on your day off" is the most sweetest thing a non-parent can hear.

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